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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    5 Surprising Truths from a Lonely Wife to Her Husband (An Open Letter)

    Dear Husband,

    Let me begin this letter by saying that I love you. I loved you when I said, "I do," and I love you even now. But it is love that compels me to write this letter, to express feelings that have been welling up inside me, shadowed by the facade of our daily life.

    1. The Loneliness That Lingers in the Spaces Between Us

    In the noise of our shared life - the chores, the deadlines, the mundane tasks that mark our days - there is a silence that screams louder than words. It's the silence of unshared emotions, the silence that builds walls between hearts.

    You see, while we live together, eat together, even sleep in the same bed, there is a part of me that feels lonely. The loneliness is not due to physical distance but emotional separation. I am living in an emotional solitude, and you might be too.

    Each day when you leave for work, I am left with a loneliness that comes from not just missing your presence, but missing your emotional intimacy. I yearn for our conversations to go beyond our routines. I wish for your touch to convey more than a passing gesture, to hold the promise of emotional connection.

    I feel as though we are like two ships sailing in the night, each absorbed in our own world, barely crossing paths.

    2. Our Lives Together but Worlds Apart

    We both know our roles in this relationship have become defined by obligations rather than desire. We've somehow started living parallel lives rather than intertwined ones. We're busy being parents, employees, social beings, but in all of this, we've stopped being partners, confidants, lovers.

    It hurts to feel as if I am living with a stranger, to feel as if the person who should know me best is a world away.

    Remember the early days when we'd talk for hours, laugh over silly things, and make dreams for our future? We've been living our dreams, but somehow along the way, we've lost each other. Our conversations are now limited to who will pick up the kids or pay the bills, and our laughter is reserved for the occasional television show.

    3. The Need to Be Seen, Heard, and Understood

    This letter is not about blame. It's about expressing a deep-seated longing for emotional connection. It's about wanting to be seen, not just looked at, heard, not just listened to, and understood, not just acknowledged.

    In the humdrum of our daily lives, the sound of my inner voice seems to have gotten lost. I've tried to speak, to express my feelings, but words seem inadequate, or perhaps they are just drowned out by the cacophony of our responsibilities.

    This loneliness I feel is not just about you or us. It's about me, too. It's about how I've stopped expressing myself, stopped asserting my emotional needs, stopped seeking your support when I am down.

    4. This is Not the End but a Beginning

    You might wonder why I am writing all this. Is this a harbinger of the end? No, dear husband. This is not an ending but a new beginning.

    This letter is a plea, a hope for reconnection. It's an invitation to open up the channels of communication, to break down the walls of silence that have grown between us.

    5. A Plea for Reconnection

    In writing this letter, I am taking the first step towards bridging the emotional chasm that has opened between us. I am reaching out, hoping that you will take my hand, and together we can navigate the tumultuous seas of our emotions.

    Remember, this letter is not an indictment, but an appeal born out of love. It's a call for us to rediscover each other, to unearth the buried feelings, and to create a bond that goes beyond our daily chores and responsibilities.

    I am here, dear husband, waiting for you to join me in this journey.

    With love,
    Your Lonely Wife

    References:

    1. Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Harmony.
    2. Chapman, G. (2010). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts. Northfield Publishing.
    3. Finkel, E.J. (2017). The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. Dutton.

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