25 Tips Happy Couples Swear By

Key Takeaways:

• Commit to daily acts of love
• Foster laughter in your relationship
• Prioritize forgiveness and patience
• Surround yourselves with positive influences
• Stay connected through honesty and openness

When we think about what makes a marriage truly happy, the answers aren't always as complex as they may seem. In fact, many happy couples live by simple, steadfast principles that keep their relationships thriving. From practicing daily love to finding the humor in everyday moments, these acts strengthen the connection and bring a sense of fulfillment. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, often says that “successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.” While every marriage has its ups and downs, the best advice doesn't lie in grand gestures but in consistent, meaningful choices. Let's look at the timeless pieces of marriage advice that happy couples swear by for a lasting bond.

25 best pieces of marriage advice genuinely happy couples follow

Marriage advice can sometimes sound like a list of dos and don'ts, but truly happy couples don't just “follow rules.” Instead, they embrace a mindset—a commitment to small, consistent actions that foster love and resilience. Below, we dive into the advice that many couples find makes all the difference in maintaining a happy, lasting marriage. These insights aren't about perfection but about creating a foundation that supports you and your partner through all of life's challenges.

1. Choose to love each other every day

Love isn't just a feeling; it's a choice we make day after day. Happy couples wake up each morning with the intention of loving their partner, regardless of circumstances. This doesn't mean everything will always feel perfect, but making a conscious decision to show up in love every day has profound effects.

Psychologically, this taps into what's known as the “self-fulfilling prophecy”—where choosing love sets the tone for how we interpret our partner's actions and allows us to build trust and kindness. In her book Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson notes, “Love is an emotional bond that requires our intention to grow. Without a deliberate choice to nurture it, love can wither under life's pressures.”

2. Always answer the phone when your partner calls

Small gestures mean everything. Something as simple as picking up the phone shows that you're prioritizing your partner. In today's fast-paced world, these little moments can get overlooked, yet they're so important. When your spouse calls, answering reflects that you're fully available and present for them, even in the middle of a busy day.

This practice is rooted in the psychology of attachment, where consistent responses build a secure bond. Research shows that couples who make themselves available for each other's needs experience higher satisfaction in their relationship. That small act of answering the phone becomes a symbol of being there for each other—no matter what.

3. Make time together a priority

It's easy to get caught up in work, kids, and other responsibilities, but nurturing your relationship takes dedicated time. Making time together a priority doesn't mean grand vacations (although those can be nice!) but finding moments every day to connect.

Whether it's a regular date night, a weekend walk, or just 15 minutes of uninterrupted conversation, these moments add up. Studies show that couples who set aside time for each other maintain higher levels of intimacy and satisfaction over the years. This habit also aligns with the “investment model” of commitment in psychology, which suggests that the more we invest in our relationship, the more committed and fulfilled we feel.

4. Surround yourselves with friends who uplift your marriage

They say we are the average of the people we spend the most time with, and this is incredibly true for marriages. Happy couples know that their social circle can have a profound impact on their relationship. By surrounding yourselves with friends who value and support your marriage, you're creating an environment that uplifts rather than challenges your bond.

Friends who share healthy relationship values reinforce positivity, encourage growth, and avoid undermining each partner. Plus, research highlights that social support from friends and family strengthens marriage stability. Being intentional about your inner circle makes a huge difference in how you and your partner experience your relationship.

5. Make laughter your go-to soundtrack

Laughter is more powerful than we give it credit for. It's not just about sharing a funny joke or enjoying a movie; laughter creates a deep, positive connection. Couples who laugh together build a sense of safety and warmth. Even during tough times, being able to laugh at life's little quirks reminds you that you're in it together.

There's even research backing this up: studies show that humor is linked to greater relationship satisfaction. When we laugh, we release endorphins—those feel-good chemicals that reduce stress and promote bonding. In short, laughter can ease tension and bring you closer. As the saying goes, “A couple that laughs together, stays together.” So, make laughter the melody that plays throughout your marriage.

6. Understand that no one 'wins' an argument

Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but happy couples approach disagreements with a unique mindset. They don't enter a conflict with the intention of ‘winning'—they know that trying to come out on top only leaves one of them feeling defeated. Instead, they focus on understanding each other's perspectives and finding a compromise that serves them both.

Psychologically, this aligns with the principle of ‘non-zero-sum' thinking, which means approaching relationships with the belief that both partners can “win” together. Renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman suggests using a “soft startup” in arguments—beginning a tough conversation gently instead of with blame or accusations. This method lowers defensiveness and creates a safe space to work through issues.

7. Remember that both of you won't be strong at the same time

In every marriage, there are seasons. There will be times when one of you feels weak or overwhelmed, and in those moments, the other partner can provide strength. Happy couples understand that life throws curveballs, and they rely on each other as a team. One day, you'll need support, and the next, you might be offering it.

Emotionally, this approach aligns with the concept of interdependence, where both partners give and receive support as needed. Marriage isn't about always being strong; it's about leaning on each other through tough times. When one of you feels low, the other lifts you up, and vice versa.

8. Keep intimacy a priority

Intimacy goes far beyond the physical—it's about maintaining a close emotional bond as well. Couples who prioritize intimacy understand that it's the glue that keeps them connected. They carve out time for meaningful touch, affectionate words, and quality time, even during busy schedules. Intimacy isn't just about physicality; it's about feeling seen, valued, and loved.

Studies show that regular intimacy releases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which strengthens bonds and boosts relationship satisfaction. By prioritizing intimacy, you're not just keeping the spark alive; you're actively nurturing a deeper connection that sustains you through life's ups and downs.

9. Remember that marriage isn't a 50/50 deal

We often hear that marriage should be 50/50, but happy couples know it's more fluid than that. In reality, some days you may give 80% while your partner gives 20%, and other times, it might be the reverse. Expecting a strict 50/50 split only sets you up for disappointment.

This mindset recognizes the ebbs and flows of life. Work, stress, health—all of these affect how much we can give at any moment. The healthiest marriages embrace flexibility, stepping in for each other and understanding that balance doesn't always mean equal.

10. Show up as your best self

One of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage is to show up as your best self, day in and day out. This doesn't mean you have to be perfect, but rather, it's about working on personal growth. When you bring your healthiest, most positive self into the relationship, it benefits both you and your partner.

Self-improvement and emotional intelligence play a big role here. Couples who prioritize personal growth—whether through therapy, self-reflection, or simply aiming to communicate better—tend to experience stronger bonds. Your spouse deserves the best version of you, and so do you.

11. Learn from others but don't try to be them

It's natural to look to other couples for inspiration, but trying to replicate their relationship doesn't work. What works for them might not fit your unique dynamics. Happy couples understand this and instead focus on learning and adapting the insights that resonate with them.

Take ideas and advice that feel authentic to your relationship, but keep them flexible. Every couple has their quirks, and celebrating these differences creates a more genuine and fulfilling bond.

12. Don't put your relationship on hold for parenting

Parenting is undoubtedly one of the most challenging and rewarding roles you'll experience together, but it can sometimes overshadow the relationship itself. Happy couples know that nurturing their connection is essential for a strong family unit. When children see parents prioritizing their relationship, it models a healthy, balanced approach to love and family.

Setting aside time to be a couple, even amidst the demands of parenting, strengthens the entire family. Small rituals, like a weekly date night or an evening chat after the kids go to bed, help keep your partnership alive and remind you both why you started this journey together.

13. Keep no secrets from your partner

Secrecy creates distance, and in a marriage, that distance can be deeply damaging. When you're open and transparent with each other, you build a foundation of trust that can withstand challenges. Even small secrets—like hiding a purchase or omitting a detail about your day—can erode trust over time.

Happy couples are intentional about open communication, even when the truth might be uncomfortable. Being honest is a sign of respect and commitment, a promise to keep the relationship free from unnecessary barriers.

14. Always be honest

Honesty is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. It's about more than just telling the truth—it's about being real and vulnerable. Happy couples embrace honesty, even when it means having tough conversations. They know that building trust requires both partners to be open, even about things that may be difficult to say or hear.

According to Dr. Brene Brown, vulnerability and honesty go hand in hand, creating a space where both partners feel safe to express themselves without fear. In the long run, honesty fosters a relationship where you can both be authentic, making for a deeper, more resilient connection.

15. Own up to mistakes and ask for forgiveness

No one's perfect, and in marriage, mistakes are inevitable. Happy couples know this and don't shy away from admitting when they're wrong. Owning up to mistakes doesn't make you weak; it shows maturity and respect for your partner. A simple “I'm sorry” can be incredibly healing and is often all it takes to defuse tension and prevent resentment.

Asking for forgiveness creates a safe space for both partners to be human, to grow, and to learn from their actions. It shows humility and invites connection rather than distance. In the words of author Gary Chapman, “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.” True forgiveness opens the door to move forward without lingering resentment.

16. Give forgiveness as freely as possible

Forgiveness can be hard, especially when trust has been shaken, but couples who prioritize happiness learn to let go and forgive. Holding onto grudges only weighs down the relationship, creating emotional barriers. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting, but it does mean choosing not to let past hurts dictate the future.

Psychologically, forgiveness is an act of liberation, both for yourself and for your partner. Studies show that couples who practice forgiveness report higher satisfaction and longevity in their relationships. By forgiving freely, you give each other the gift of a fresh start—over and over again.

17. Be patient and understanding

Patience is a quiet, often underestimated strength in marriage. Being patient and understanding doesn't mean tolerating unhealthy behavior, but it does mean giving your partner the space to be themselves, to have off days, and to make mistakes. Relationships thrive when both people feel accepted and supported, even in moments of imperfection.

Happy couples know that patience is crucial, especially during tough seasons. They embrace empathy, trying to see things from each other's perspective rather than jumping to conclusions. Patience, over time, fosters a deeper bond and strengthens the foundation of your marriage.

18. Model a marriage you'd want for your kids

Our children learn about love and relationships by watching us. If you want your children to value kindness, respect, and partnership, embody these qualities in your marriage. Happy couples consciously model the relationship they hope their children will aspire to—one filled with love, compromise, and mutual respect.

This doesn't mean pretending everything is perfect; it's about showing that love is resilient. Children see the way you treat each other, and those lessons stay with them. Modeling a healthy marriage not only benefits your relationship but also instills values that can positively shape your children's future relationships.

19. Be your partner's biggest fan

Support is essential, but genuinely cheering for each other brings a unique joy into a marriage. Happy couples uplift each other and celebrate wins—big and small. Whether your partner is chasing a new career, pursuing a hobby, or achieving a personal goal, your enthusiasm sends the message that you're on their team.

This kind of support reinforces trust and builds a positive environment in which both partners can thrive. When each of you knows you're rooting for each other, you create a partnership that encourages growth and mutual fulfillment.

20. Never criticize your partner to others

It's tempting to vent to friends or family about your spouse, especially during frustrating moments, but doing so can damage trust and erode your connection. Happy couples avoid speaking negatively about each other to others, choosing instead to handle conflicts privately and respectfully.

Criticism, especially in front of others, undermines your partner and may even create an unfair bias against them in the eyes of family or friends. Instead, happy couples discuss issues directly with each other, preserving the integrity and trust of their marriage. When you commit to resolving problems together, you foster a stronger, more unified bond.

21. Wear your wedding ring proudly

Your wedding ring isn't just a piece of jewelry; it's a symbol of your commitment. Wearing it is a subtle yet powerful way to honor your marriage, reminding both you and others of the promise you've made. For happy couples, the ring becomes more than a token—it's a daily acknowledgment of the love and loyalty they share.

It may seem small, but little gestures like this reinforce the dedication you both bring to your marriage. By wearing your ring proudly, you're silently celebrating your relationship and signaling to the world, “I've chosen someone for life.”

22. Stay true to who you are

Marriage is about growing together, but it doesn't mean losing your individuality. Happy couples understand that maintaining their own identities enriches their relationship. Staying true to yourself—your values, passions, and quirks—brings a fresh, authentic energy into the marriage. When each partner embraces their uniqueness, it keeps the relationship dynamic and fulfilling.

Psychologists agree that preserving individuality in relationships allows for healthier boundaries and greater personal satisfaction. Remember, your partner fell in love with you for who you are. Letting yourself evolve without losing touch with your core creates a marriage that respects and celebrates both people.

23. Let your partner be themselves

Just as it's important to be true to yourself, it's equally crucial to allow your partner to be who they are. Happy couples give each other the freedom to express themselves without fear of judgment or pressure to change. This acceptance nurtures trust and deepens intimacy, creating a safe space where both partners feel valued for who they are.

Relationships thrive when both individuals feel free to be authentic. Trying to mold your partner into someone they're not will only cause frustration and resentment. Instead, let your partner's unique qualities shine—it's one of the most loving things you can do.

24. Choose kindness over harsh words

Words hold immense power in a marriage. During moments of frustration, it's easy to let harsh words slip out, but happy couples consciously choose kindness. Kindness doesn't mean you avoid tough conversations; it simply means approaching them with respect and empathy.

Research shows that couples who practice kindness and positive language are happier and more resilient. Choosing kindness strengthens the emotional connection, helping both partners feel valued, loved, and understood—even when they disagree. As the saying goes, “If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.”

25. Don't consider divorce as an option

When things get tough, happy couples don't keep the door open for an easy exit. They treat marriage as a lifelong commitment and are willing to work through challenges rather than seeing divorce as an option. This mindset creates a sense of security, where both partners know they're in it together, come what may.

Committing to work through difficult times isn't about ignoring issues or avoiding necessary change. It's about believing that with effort and support, you can navigate any obstacle as a team. Couples who embrace this level of commitment find that it actually brings them closer, fostering a bond that can withstand life's tests.

Recommended Resources

• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman and Nan Silver
• Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman