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  • Olivia Sanders
    Olivia Sanders

    18 Bridal Advice Tips (For the Bride-to-Be!)

    Key Takeaways:

    • Embrace imperfection in yourself
    • Keep open communication with your spouse
    • Support and uplift each other daily
    • Carve out time for meaningful connection
    • Surround yourself with loving, supportive people

    Getting ready for your bridal shower or wedding day can feel like a whirlwind of emotions—joy, excitement, and let's be real, a bit of anxiety. It's easy to get caught up in the details, but what truly matters is that this day is about you and your partner starting a new chapter together. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by wedding planning stress, or just looking for a bit of grounding advice to carry into your marriage, we've gathered some of the best wisdom to help you focus on what truly matters. Let's dive in and make sure you walk into this new journey feeling confident, supported, and full of love.

    18 Pieces of Advice to Share with the Bride Before Her Big Day

    Your bridal shower or wedding day is an event filled with love, anticipation, and maybe a sprinkle of nerves. But remember, it's not just about that one day. It's about the journey you're starting with your partner. These 18 pieces of advice are meant to guide you, ground you, and help you navigate this beautiful, but sometimes challenging, new chapter of your life. Whether you're looking for practical tips or heartfelt reminders, these insights will keep you focused on what really matters.

    1. Stay true to yourself and your values

    It's easy to get swept away in the frenzy of planning a wedding. Everyone has an opinion about what you should do, wear, or say. But remember, this day belongs to you and your partner. Staying authentic to your own values and desires will ensure that you not only enjoy your wedding day but also enter your marriage on your own terms.

    As Brené Brown once said, "Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are." Being true to yourself is a gift you give to your future marriage, too. It sets the foundation for honest, open communication with your spouse, and that's the kind of energy you want to carry forward.

    2. Perfection is unrealistic; embrace the flaws

    Let's face it: no wedding day will go 100% according to plan. Maybe the cake won't arrive on time, or your hair won't turn out exactly like the picture you pinned. That's okay. Sometimes, these little mishaps become the most memorable, laughable moments later on.

    There's a psychological principle known as the “good enough” mindset, which suggests that striving for excellence is healthy, but perfectionism can be paralyzing. Embrace imperfections—they're a reminder that life, and marriage, isn't about everything being perfect but about loving the journey together.

    3. Don't lose touch with friends and family

    Weddings are often seen as the start of a new life, but that doesn't mean leaving everyone else behind. The people who've supported you up until this point—your friends and family—are still an important part of your life. It's easy to get so wrapped up in wedding plans that you unintentionally distance yourself from loved ones, but staying connected to your support system is vital.

    Remember, the love and support from your friends and family can be a source of strength, especially in the early days of marriage. Take the time to appreciate their presence, not just at your wedding but beyond that day as well.

    4. Your marriage will look different from others'

    There's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to marriage. It's so easy to fall into the trap of comparison, especially in today's social media-driven world where everyone seems to have the perfect relationship. But your love story is unique, and your marriage will be too.

    It's like what Carl Jung suggested about individuation—the process of becoming your most authentic self. Your marriage is an extension of that individuality. It won't mirror anyone else's, and that's a beautiful thing. Focus on what makes your relationship special, not on meeting some idealized version of what marriage “should” look like.

    5. Remember your partner is human too

    It's easy to place your partner on a pedestal, especially during the romantic whirlwind of a wedding. But let's not forget—your partner is just as human as you are, complete with flaws, fears, and quirks. When you expect perfection from each other, disappointment is inevitable.

    Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of “turning toward” your partner with compassion, especially when they stumble. This mindset creates a space where both of you can be vulnerable and grow together. It's not about idolizing your partner but appreciating their humanity.

    6. Share concerns with your spouse, not outsiders

    When conflicts arise, it can be tempting to vent to friends or family. But this often leads to unintentional bias or, worse, unresolved resentment. Instead, prioritize direct communication with your partner. Sharing your concerns openly builds trust and avoids misunderstandings.

    Therapists often advocate for what's called "I-statements"—phrasing concerns in a way that centers on your feelings rather than blaming your partner. For example, saying “I feel overwhelmed when this happens” instead of “You always do this.” This shifts the conversation toward resolution rather than confrontation.

    7. Be open to listening to each other

    Listening isn't just about hearing words; it's about understanding the emotion behind them. In times of stress, it's easy to get defensive or to focus on your own point of view. However, relationships thrive when both partners feel heard and validated.

    Active listening—where you focus entirely on what your partner is saying without planning your response—can transform a tense conversation into an opportunity for growth. As Stephen R. Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” wisely noted, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Make understanding your priority.

    8. Prioritize time to connect as a couple

    Amidst the wedding planning chaos, it's easy to forget why you're celebrating in the first place—your love. That's why carving out intentional time for each other is crucial. Whether it's a quiet coffee date or a night walk, these moments are what keep your bond strong.

    Psychologically, this aligns with the concept of “quality time” as a love language, a term popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman. It's about being fully present and giving your partner undivided attention. These little pockets of connection can act as a buffer against stress and help you stay grounded.

    9. Marriage requires continuous effort

    Here's the thing: marriage is not a “set it and forget it” kind of deal. It requires nurturing, patience, and yes, continuous effort. Think of it like tending to a garden. If you stop watering it, it eventually withers. The same applies to your relationship. Prioritize the little things—checking in on each other's day, leaving thoughtful notes, or simply sharing a laugh. These small gestures accumulate over time to build a resilient bond.

    Research from The Gottman Institute shows that couples who regularly invest in their relationship are better equipped to handle challenges. It's not just about grand gestures, but about consistently showing up for each other, day in and day out.

    10. Surround yourself with supportive people

    One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is a supportive network of friends and family. Being surrounded by those who genuinely want to see your relationship thrive can provide the encouragement and wisdom you need, especially when times get tough.

    However, it's crucial to set boundaries with people who may be overly critical or unsupportive. Negative influences can chip away at the confidence you have in your relationship. Instead, focus on those who celebrate your love and understand that every marriage goes through ups and downs.

    11. Keep learning about your partner

    Contrary to what you might believe, you won't know everything about your partner even after years of marriage. People change, grow, and evolve. Keeping an open mind and maintaining a sense of curiosity about your partner helps you both stay connected.

    According to psychologist Esther Perel, one of the secrets to sustaining desire in a long-term relationship is to continuously see your partner as someone to discover. Ask them about their dreams, fears, and aspirations. Even mundane questions like “What's something that made you smile today?” can reveal a lot about where they are emotionally.

    12. Choose to love, even in hard times

    Love isn't always an effortless feeling; sometimes, it's a choice. There will be moments when you're frustrated, exhausted, or simply not in the mood to be affectionate. Yet, choosing to love your partner—especially during challenging times—is what deepens the bond.

    In the words of Dr. Sue Johnson, the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, “Love is a continual process of reaching out, taking risks, and getting to know another person.” It's not about being perfect but about consistently choosing to show up, even when it's hard.

    13. Always speak to each other respectfully

    It's all too easy to let emotions take over and say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. But remember, words have power. Once spoken, they can't be taken back. Make it a point to communicate respectfully, especially during disagreements. This doesn't mean avoiding difficult conversations—it means approaching them with a spirit of kindness.

    Respectful communication fosters a sense of safety in your relationship. It reassures your partner that even when things are tough, you're still on the same team.

    14. Avoid keeping harmful secrets

    Secrets can be like tiny cracks in the foundation of a marriage. Over time, they widen, causing the entire structure to crumble. Of course, privacy in a relationship is healthy, but there's a difference between maintaining personal boundaries and keeping secrets that could damage trust.

    Psychologists suggest that transparency builds a sense of security and intimacy in a relationship. If something's bothering you, don't let it fester in the dark. Bring it into the light, and work through it together. Your relationship will be stronger for it.

    15. Own up to mistakes and seek forgiveness

    No one likes to admit they're wrong, but being able to own up to your mistakes is crucial in a healthy marriage. When you've hurt your partner, whether intentionally or not, a genuine apology can be incredibly healing. It shows maturity, accountability, and, most importantly, respect for your partner's feelings.

    Forgiveness, on the other hand, is just as important. Holding onto grudges only deepens wounds. Remember, forgiveness isn't about letting someone off the hook; it's about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment. Practicing humility and grace in these moments can make all the difference in sustaining a strong, loving bond.

    16. Encourage and uplift each other

    Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader—and vice versa. Marriage is a partnership where you both commit to lifting each other up, especially when life gets tough. Words of encouragement, whether for something as small as a work presentation or as big as pursuing a new dream, can have a profound impact on your partner's self-esteem.

    There's something called the “Pygmalion effect” in psychology, which suggests that people tend to perform better when others believe in their potential. Be that source of unwavering support for your spouse, and watch how it transforms not only their confidence but also your relationship.

    17. Make room for fun and laughter

    Let's be real—marriage can get serious. Between the responsibilities of everyday life, bills, work stress, and family obligations, it's easy to forget to have fun together. But laughter is like glue in a relationship; it strengthens your bond and lightens the emotional load.

    Studies show that couples who laugh together are more likely to stay together. Don't underestimate the power of a shared inside joke, a spontaneous dance in the kitchen, or a silly game night. These lighthearted moments create joyful memories that you'll both cherish, especially when life gets stressful.

    18. Establish clear boundaries and respect them

    Boundaries aren't about keeping your partner at arm's length; they're about maintaining a sense of individuality while also protecting the relationship. Setting boundaries is an act of self-care that also benefits your marriage. It ensures that both of you feel respected, understood, and comfortable.

    Whether it's about needing some alone time to recharge or agreeing on how to handle finances, having open conversations about boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and build a deeper sense of trust. Respecting each other's boundaries shows that you value not only the relationship but also each other's well-being.

    Recommended Resources

    • The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
    • Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
    • Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson

     

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