The cluttered kitchen counters scattered with bills and breakfast dishes were the same as usual. I smiled my good morning to my husband who stood at the percolator and answered me with a grunt that could be translated as “Morning” in some act of politeness. I continued on without giving it a second thought. Little did I know the life we shared was about to crumble.
It was a day like any other – until I stumbled upon the secrets that lurked beneath the façade of our marriage. I received a call from a mutual friend whose daughter had stumbled upon a Twitter account that my husband had been trying to keep secret from me all these years. Suddenly, pieces began to click together as if I had finally found that missing puzzle piece locking into place.
As it turns out, my beloved husband had a separate Twitter account he used to sext other people. As one can imagine, words cannot even begin to describe the many emotions I felt in that moment. I felt betrayed, angry, confused, hurt and more than anything, incredibly foolish. How did I not see this coming? What had he done with his time that I thought he was doing something else? I thought I knew my husband, but what I do know of him now is far different.
Sadness, anger and resentment spiralled through me as I thought about other details that suddenly seemed to point to the same conclusion. The guilt of his drinking binges and late nights suddenly made sense without seeming suspicious. I should have seen the signs and confronted them earlier instead of letting them just slide.
Anger turned into feelings of betrayal – how could he do this to me! I had given him my love and loyalty, only for him to be sending saucy messages to strangers. With a heavy heart, I knew there was nothing more to do but confront him. I took a few deep breaths and invited him to sit down and talk.
His stuttered explanations felt empty and lacking in sincerity. I know he was sorry, but it was all too little, too late. My husband was not the person I thought he was and that saddened me greatly. Even after all of this, I still love him, but the trust has been broken and cannot simply be mended with a few kind words.
My heart broke that day – broken by the secrets my husband had hidden beneath the surface of our seemingly perfect world. He had played a game of hide-and-seek with my trust, leaving me feeling foolish and exposed with nowhere to turn. Regardless, I have come to terms with the truth and can work to move past it and hopefully look to the future with an open heart.
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