You and your partner have been together for a while, and you're fairly certain that he's been faithful. You now suspect that he may be cheating - all the classic signs are there - but you aren't quite sure yet. How can you tell if your partner is unfaithful?
The first step in figuring out whether your partner is being unfaithful is to recognize the suspicious behaviors. The classic signs are often attributed to cheating, but remember that context is important too. If someone has been with someone for a long time, it's typical for them to withdraw a bit from their partner; this could just be because of changes in their life like job or health issues. That said, here are some items to look out for:
1. He's doing different activities with different people. Is your partner spending a lot more time with a specific group of people, without you? Or maybe he's going out with a new friend or two. This could mean there's someone special he's trying to see.
2. He's talking on the phone more often. Notice if your partner takes more calls than they used to. It could mean they have someone on the side they're talking to whenever they're alone.
3. He's more protective of his phone. Does your partner go out of their way to make sure their phone is out of view? This indicates that they've got something to hide, and likely suspect that you'll find out the truth if you get a peek at what's on there.
4. He's avoiding meaningful conversations. If your partner suddenly stops wanting to discuss things with you, it could mean they're redirecting their energy elsewhere. Pay attention to how your conversations have changed over time.
5. He's picking fights or acting coldly. Does your partner seem withdrawn or irritable? This could be because of something else happening in his life, but it might also mean that he's feeling guilty about cheating.
It's important to remember that emotional coldness or sudden anger does not always mean that your partner is cheating. It could be indicative of stress, anxiety, or depression. Don't make assumptions until you've had an honest conversation; assuming the worst can cause problems even when you're not entirely sure yet.
You can also try to get evidence if you suspect that he is cheating. If your partner gives off these red flags, check through their emails and social media looking for anything suspicious. If they tend to leave items like ID's, credit cards, or other personal items in areas where you can get access to them, try looking through these items to find anything related to the person whom he may be cheating on you with. However, if you find evidence of this type, it can be deeply hurtful. Be prepared to deal with the emotions that arise during this process.
In any case, it is best to confront your partner and let them know that you have suspicions. Explain your concerns in a straightforward and non-confrontational way. People don't respond well when they're cornered or made to feel guilty, so keep your emotions in check when you ask questions.
If he denies cheating, allow him to explain and listen to what he has to say. Your partner's intention should be to understand your feelings and be honest with you, so if there's a suspicion, try to get to the bottom of it.
If he admits to cheating, don't be too quick to react. Take some time to process the situation, talk to family and friends, and figure out what you want to do. Ask yourself what your values are and what you expect in a relationship. It might be time to consider counseling or reevaluating your relationship as a whole.
Discovering whether or not a partner is cheating is difficult and often painful. Taking steps to protect yourself and having honest conversations with your partner can help you get to the truth. Make sure to take care of yourself first and find support if the situation becomes too hard to handle alone.