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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Lifeless After Losing It All: Moving Forward from Grief

    As the snowflakes floated gently down from the night sky, Christie felt a wave of sorrow blinding her. For months she had lived what had initially felt like a dream – waking next to the love of her life with morning rainbows on her ceiling, lazy afternoons spent cuddled up in bed reading their favorite books. She’d thought she’d found The One, now everything seemed to be crumbling around her.

    It had all happened so quickly – the end of their relationship was like lightning, snatching them away while they seemed only half aware. First there were the strange arguments, the fits of anger and confusion, the feelings of isolation and worry Christie had tried desperately to push away. Then came the fight – the ultimate blowup between them which ultimately led to the catastrophic ending. No more tender caresses to brush the tears away, no more looking into eyes filled with love and understanding; in one night, it was over.

    What do you do when your happily ever after crumbles away like ashes in your hands? How do you cope with the crushing sadness of losing everything you believed in so deeply? As Christie walked home, she surveyed the broken pieces of her heart, desperately searching for a light.

    No matter how much pain you’re feeling after losing the person you love, it doesn’t mean your experience was wrong or that it wasn’t meaningful. Finding the courage to move forward can be one of life’s greatest challenges, but it is one worth attempting. Like a phoenix coming out of its ashes, your fresh start awaits you.

    Acknowledge Your Pain

    The old adage “time heals all wounds” may be true in many cases, but it’s important to not lose sight of the fact that your breakup is still fresh and that your emotions are valid, no matter what anyone else tells you. It’s okay to take a little time to yourself to grieve your loss, breathe, and meditate. Allow yourself to simply feel and acknowledge your pain without trying to dismiss it. Cry if you need to and be gentle with yourself. Taking the time to recognize and accept your emotions for what they are is the first step toward recovery.

    Find Comfort and Support

    When you’re ready, reach out and seek comfort from those nearest and dearest. Friends and family can be a lifesaver when it comes to coping with the aftermath of a breakup. Remember that you need to take care of yourself, so don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Even leaving your home to get a change of scenery can be beneficial. Whether it's meeting up with friends, going on a solo adventure, or just driving away to the countryside to enjoy some peace and quiet, a new environment can be the perfect source of distraction.

    Engage in Self-Care

    There are a plethora of activities you can participate in to aid in the healing process. Engage in hobbies you love, rekindle old friendships, or pick up a new skill. Cooking, exercising, playing music, and getting organized can also be a great way to show yourself some TLC. Or maybe it's time to meet some new people, and try a different venue? Join a local group, take a night class, or sign up for speed dating. There's more out there than you think.

    Remind Yourself of Who You Once Were

    It can be easy to forget who you were before you entered your relationship, so try to set aside some time to remember who you were and how far you've come. Reflecting on accomplishments previously achieved and successes both large and small can help boost your self-esteem and give you the skills required to combat negative energy associated with your breakup. Take the time to focus on the real you, and practice self-love as you remember all that you have to be proud of, and find a renewed sense of purpose.

    Look Ahead

    Where will you be in a year, a month or a day? Allow yourself to imagine, visualize and plan for a better version of your future self. Don’t rush your healing process, but remember that the broken pieces of the puzzle can be pieced together again. While you might never be the same as you were before, you can come out of this time even stronger. Draw strength from your inner power, set goals, recharge and make peace with your life's choices. you’re the only one who has the power to move past it all and create a better, brighter future.

    Going through an immensely difficult breakup can be one of life’s most painful experiences, but you don’t have to face it alone. Everyone's individual journey to recovery is unique, and with self-care, support, and a clear head, you could find that the light at the end of the tunnel is brighter than you ever thought possible. With a positive attitude and a plan in place, you can make it.

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