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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    How To Handle Unwelcome Stares From Friends?

    Dear eNotAlone: I have this problem with two people that I'm not sure how to handle. They are both my friends, but they always seem to be staring at me. Like, the other day I went to a store with my friend and when we were leaving she pointed to two people across the way, and said "see that couple? That is Joe and Sally. They are friends of ours and they always stare at you." It was uncomfortable, because they were just standing there, staring at me and not even acknowledging us.

    At first I thought it was a coincidence, but then it's started happening more and more. So many times I can feel their eyes on me, and it freaks me out. I don't know what their motivation is for staring, it could just be curiosity, but it happens so often that I'm starting to get suspicious.

    I'm not sure how to approach them about it, or if I even should. I don't want it to damage the relationship I have with them, since they are friends, but I also don't know why it's happening or what I can do to make it stop.

    Is there anything I can do to make them stop staring at me? And should I talk to them about it, or should I just ignore it for now?

    * * *

    There is no clear answer as to why your two friends are constantly staring at you. It could be a sign of admiration, or perhaps they even like you and don't know how to express it. Alternatively, it could be a sign of suspicion or simply boredom. Whatever the reason may be, it is definitely making you uncomfortable and it's important to take action.

    The first step is to try and assess the situation and figure out the details. Try to observe where and when the stares get intense. Is it in public settings or in private settings? Are you alone or with others when they look at you? The more information you can gather, the easier it will be to determine the cause and come up with a solution.

    If they are just curious and it's unconditional feelings of admiration, then you shouldn't confront them directly. Just try to act naturally and ignore their stares. However, if you truly feel that their stares are based on suspicion or something deeper, then it's probably time to address the situation.

    Unless you feel comfortable talking to them right away, you can use subtle methods to let them know that the stares are unwelcome. Some strategies include making small changes such as walking in a different direction, being extra friendly to Joe and Sally, or entering and leaving the room differently. This might be enough to let them know that you're aware of their stares and you're not comfortable with it.

    If that doesn't work, it may be time to actually talk to them about it. Open communication is often the best way to address the issue, especially if it's coming from a place of mutual respect and understanding. When speaking to them, try to stay calm and choose your words carefully. Explain that you noticed the stares, explain why it makes you feel uncomfortable, and let them know that you want it to stop. At the same time, make sure to listen to their side of the story. It's possible that there might be some things that you're not aware of, and this conversation could provide some insight.

    If Joe and Sally's stares are making you uncomfortable, speak up. Address the issue directly or use subtle signs to let them know that you've noticed their stares. However, if they are just admiring glances, then chances are that the situation will resolve itself.

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