Dear eNotAlone: I've had a good friend for a few years now, but I want to transition it into something more. We do almost everything together and we both value each other's company. We know a lot about each other, but there's always an elephant in the room whenever we're around each other. I don't know if either of us wants to transition our relationship into something romantic or even just different, but I'm not sure what to do, or how to even go about asking her.
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Transitioning a friendship can be a difficult thing to do—especially when you're uncertain of your friend's feelings. It's understandable why you might not want to bring up the possibility of something more, especially if you don't even know if they feel the same way.
It's important to make sure that you're being honest with yourself and your feelings. Ask yourself why you are interested in taking the relationship to the next level. Perhaps you feel like you're getting too close for comfort, or maybe you just want something more out of this relationship. it is important to feel out your friend and assess their feelings towards you in order to decide whether or not it would be safe to bring up this conversation.
One way to gauge your friend's feelings is to pay attention to the way they interact with you. If they are always the first one to initiate contact, or if they check up on you often, then it could be an indicator that they care. Also, look at the way they act around you; if they're shy and somewhat nervous around you, then it could be a sign that they have deeper feelings than friendship.
If your friend's behaviour seems to match these examples, then it could be a safe bet to bring it up. Make sure to choose a good time and location without any distractions. That way, you can ensure that the conversation has space to grow and your friend feels safe in expressing their feelings.
Be upfront with why you want to talk. Don't lead with the idea of transitioning the relationship, start by asking them how they feel and if they've ever thought of the relationship being anything else. You should also share your own feelings so that the conversation isn't one sided. However, if the conversation gets one-sided, stay positive instead of pushing the topic further.
Be kind and understanding throughout the conversation so that your friend doesn't feel threatened or uncomfortable. Most importantly, be prepared for any answer they give you – whether it's positive or negative. Be respectful of their opinion, and accept it gracefully if they don't feel the same way.
It's important to remember that this conversation could change the relationship in either a good or bad way. Make sure to consider all of the potential outcomes and to think about your feelings before moving forward. If the conversation doesn't go as planned, don't let it strain the friendship. Instead, take it as a learning experience and try to move forward in a healthy way.