No one said marriage was easy, and when it comes down to the decision that it’s time to part ways, it’s tough to tackle the conversation. Making the decision to end your marriage is hard enough, but facing your partner as you break the news can add a new layer of intensity. If you’re facing this situation, there are some tips to consider in order to approach the conversation.
The first, and arguably most important step to take is to find a calm and respectful environment for the discussion. It can be in your home or a neutral setting, such as at the office or café. Choose a space that has enough privacy where you can speak freely without fear of being overheard or upset.
Second, know exactly what you want to say before heading into the discussion. Take time to reflect on why you’ve decided it’s time for the two of you to part ways and how you want to explain it. Once you have an idea of what needs to be said, practice before the conversation. Have a trusted friend or family member follow along with the conversation, so you can already know what to expect.
Third, allow your partner to express his or her feelings. This is not an easy conversation to have, so emotions will inevitably run high. Be open and willing to listen-- even though you may have heard it all before.
Fourth, don't lay blame. This might be difficult, especially given the history between you and your partner. However, it’s important to remain civil and respect one another as you discuss things. Do not bring up past incidents that place blame or make assumptions.
Fifth, if you have children, understand that the news can be hard for them as well. It's important to discuss your decision with them in an age-appropriate fashion, so they don't get too confused or scared.
Lastly, remember that the decision to divorce does not define who you are or will become. Although it’s a hard move to make, try to remain optimistic about the future and realize that you are still worthy of love, respect and happiness.