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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Why Is My Partner Pulling Away When I Try to Kiss Him?

    Dear eNotAlone: My boyfriend and I have been going out for three months now, and we seem to be getting along great. We spend hours talking, we laugh together, and we know His friends pretty well.

    The only problem is, every time I try to kiss him he pulls away. As soon as our lips are about to touch, he turns his head away and won't let me get close enough. He insists that it's not because he doesn't like me and gets really defensive when I try to confront him about it.

    It's really upsetting and getting to the point where I'm starting to doubt our relationship. Is this just a matter of patience or am I doing something wrong? What can I do to make him feel more comfortable around me?

    * * *

    It sounds like you are in quite a pickle! It's understandable why this could be so disheartening, but the first thing to remember is that your partner likely cares deeply for you if they are engaging in conversation and hanging out with you like normal. So don't start doubting the relationship just yet.

    When it comes to kissing, there could be a lot of reasons why your partner is pulling away. First, maybe they are not ready to take the physical side of the relationship to the next level. People have different comfort levels and preferences, so it could be just a matter of them needing time. On the other hand, it could also be that your partner has underlying feelings of insecurity. Try to talk to them in a non-confrontational way and bring up any worries or insecurities that you may have yourself.

    Consider whether your interactions have been awkward for your partner in any way. If you have tried to move too fast or make them uncomfortable it's likely that this could be causing your partner to retain control by turning away. Reflect on how your actions may have changed since beginning the relationship, as this could give you some insights as to why your partner is responding in this way.

    Whatever the case, ease off trying to kiss your partner. Showing your partner that you love and accept them no matter what can be just as important, if not more important, than physical closeness. Give your partner some time and space and talk openly and honestly with one another. With patience and understanding, perhaps in time your partner will open up.

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