First thing’s first, when the problem of desperation creeps into a person’s life, it’s important to take a step back and realize that there is no urgency: life goes on and the best case scenario is that you don’t let yourself fall completely into a desperation-induced frenzy. That being said, how do you figure out what direction to turn in? Those who fear succumbing to desperation often find themselves in a never ending cycle of doubt and confusion as they struggle to make sense of the situation.
It's worth noting that the feeling of desperation can emerge from a long line of other emotions – such as vulnerability, sadness, or even anger. Oftentimes the key to unlocking your emotions lies within recognizing exactly what led you down this path in the first place. It could be a toxic relationship, exhaustion from too many failed prospects, or endless nights spent alone in lonely contemplation. After analyzing the source of this angst, it will be easier to let go of the intense longing for something new and different.
The key next step is to set reasonable expectations for yourself. Knowing when to look for compromises is important – whether that includes looking for more compatible relationships or more meaningful friendships. It’s all about finding your own balance of compromise and satisfaction. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and those around you by expecting to find an ideal match. Put aside the idea of a perfect lover and instead focus on forming relationships with people that you truly enjoy spending time with.
Another way to avoid sliding into desperation is to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends to catch up and chat it up over coffee while doing something else fun. Studies have shown that exercising not only physically can help improve one's mental health but it also serves as an excellent distraction from the pain and emptiness that desolation can bring. Take some time off the dating scene, distract yourself from the all the “failures,” and find joy in all the great things you can do for yourself. Even if you are going through a rough patch, look for the silver lining and remember to take one day at a time.
When it comes to giving advice to those in a desperate state, it’s helpful to remember that you should never feel pressured to settle for less than what makes you truly happy. Know that there is someone out there for you and sometimes “the one” simply takes a while to find. Don’t give up hope, but recognize that your happiness doesn’t rest solely on finding a romantic partner. Plunge headfirst into enjoying hobbies and activities that make you feel good, throw yourself into different areas of life that bring you joy, guard your heart and remember that you’re worth fighting for.
It’s about staying true to yourself and trusting your instincts, no matter how near or far you are from finding that special someone. Focus on enjoying life and throw yourself into activities and relationships that make you feel alive. Once you learn to be content with yourself and others, you won’t ever be in danger of falling into desperation again.
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