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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Unraveling the Tangled Web of a Crush

    The idea of having a crush can be both exciting and intimidating. On one hand, it's a sign that you're not apathetic towards life, that your heart is open to being filled and perhaps even finding a fulfilling connection with someone you like. On the other hand, it's a complex process that's not always easy to navigate. If you're an adult in this situation, there are some steps you can take to make sure you're making the best possible choices along the way.

    Firstly, recognize and accept whatever emotions the crush might bring up inside of you. Often times, being enamored with someone can bring up feelings such as fear, insecurity or doubt, as well as giddiness, elation or hopefulness. We all experience multiple and opposing feelings simultaneously, and crushing can amplify them on both ends. Instead of recoiling away or running away in the opposite direction, use the opportunity to confront these feelings gracefully by tapping into their source and gathering clues into how you'd like to proceed.

    It's also important to reflect on what brought you to the crush in the first place. Although it's human nature to want others to return our affections, we should never fully surrender to the hope that someone shares our interest. Investigate whether the feeling is based more on healthy physical attraction, friendship, admiration, self-growth, or something else. Doing this will give you an understanding of why you have these feelings, and make it easier for you to place them in perspective.

    Next, contemplate what kind of experience you'd like to have when it comes to your crush. If you haven't done so already, consider creating some boundaries and taking those into account as you engage with them. For instance, if spending time alone with them doesn't feel comfortable, decide to talk only in public places or via a chatroom or message. You can also take this further by incorporating things into your daily lives outside of your relationship; dedicating a certain amount of time to self-care or learning a new skill with a friend or colleague. These choices may not necessarily please your crush, but they will certainly help you structure a healthier relationship with yourself and with them.

    Finally, don't forget to keep a sense of humor in the process. Having a good laugh with the people around you or with the person you're crushing on can bring some much needed levity to the situation. While it's okay to take it seriously, it's equally important to find enjoyment and amusement in the things you share together. Doing so will not only help you relax, but it will also keep the conversation and atmosphere lighthearted, letting you learn more about each other and stay connected.

    Although crushes can be tricky cases to handle, approaching the situation with the right mentality makes all the difference. Being aware of your needs and expectations when it comes to relationships, and formulating healthy boundaries, gives you an opportunity to grow and keep the connection strong. crushes are part of the joy and hope of being alive, and by not shying away from them, you can find yourself in a place of curiosity and wonder.

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