The world of dating can often be tricky and maneuvering the ins and outs of relationships with an unfamiliar person is never an easy task. It's a brave new world and expectations can be unclear, leaving many of us questioning what it is we're looking for and hoping to get out of the date in general.
We can quickly misunderstand the situation when we accidentally enter a date as if it were our own personal therapy session. You ask yourself how your date got you here, when all you wanted was a nice night out. Dating is not therapy, no matter how much it may feel like it. Instead of diving deep into long confessions and soul-baring revelries, its best to rein in the temptation of unloading on your date by reminding yourself that they are not your therapist.
The tendency of using dates as a form of therapy can be common when we're feeling lonely and seeking out companionship. We can end up getting wrapped up in the idea that we should share every detail of our life as soon as we have someone to listen. Though this might serve as a release from our emotional burdens, the danger of using a date as a sort of therapy session is that this type of approach can become far too deep and heavy for the context of the night. The mixture of emotions that one overly intense conversation brings can thrust us deep into the dark and otherwise unrelated corners of your lives and minds, leaving us feeling embarrassed and confused in the aftermath.
Instead of treating a date as a form of therapy, remind yourself that a date should first and foremost be fun and lighthearted. If you want to share moments of your life with someone and find this comfort, it is best to seek out a friend or therapist that you can trust and will understand the context of what you are unloading. A date should be that happy midpoint between going to therapy and having a wild night out. It should be an upscale version of a double date with your friends set at a nice bar or a favorite restaurant.
What should a successful first date look like? It should be filled with laughter and conversations that touch upon ideas and topics that make you excited. Invite your date to explore places and try things you wouldn't normally do. Impress them with stories that broaden their worldview and let them show off their intelligence. Most importantly, these kinds of conversations shouldn't be forced, so allow the atmosphere and the chemistry to dictate the direction of the night.
Having a safe and positive open-minded attitude can take the pressure off and help the two of you to freely express yourselves in the moment. It can encourage an authentic connection where you both get to know each other and build something meaningful without the fear of judgement. Enjoy the time together and stay away from conversations that threaten to bring it all crashing to the ground by swiping away all the pleasantness.
Remembering that your date is not your therapist is the key to a successful and stress-free night. Don't overexert yourself, keep things light and steer clear of intense discussions. A date shouldn't in any way replace the guidance of a qualified therapist. For mental health advice, seek out those professionals and for a great time, call up your date and turn the night into an unforgettable experience.