Two Steps Forward, One Step Back: How To Win Your Former Lover's Heart

Every single heartbreak is a wound that pierces deeply. You try to put the pieces back together until you come to the realization that it won’t ever be the same again. But if you want him back, there are some things you can do; some steps you can take to win his heart once more.

When trying to reconnect with your former flame, it’s important to remember that although you have feelings for him, it takes two people to make something spark. Be patient and mindful of your approach—while there are some steps you can take to make him see what he’s missing, don’t look down on yourself if it doesn’t work out. The effort you put in will pay off, and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean you do not deserve love and respect.

The first step is to understand why the relationship ended. Were there any issues that were never worked out? Or was it a mutual but heartbreaking decision? Should you decide to reach back out and make another attempt at the relationship, it’s important to think about what led to its demise in the first place and be honest about it.

Once this understanding is clear, give your privacy as individuals to both agree on a scenario where you can meet. Refrain from showing up at his doorstep or tagging along to places he frequents expecting, hoping, or pushing for things to happen. Have the courage to reach out and ask him out, to meet him in a frequency that’s comfortable for both of you. Get to the core issues that ended the relationship by talking it out. And if either of your feels like there’s an opportunity to make things work, save it.

Try to put yourself in his shoes as much as possible. Rekindling an old flame requires empathy, understanding, and patience. Respect his decision to part ways and make sure that he can feel the same respect when you talk. Allow each other space and don’t be pushy. Perseverance is key here and try not to get affected by his words or actions.

Be persistent in healing the wounds between the two of you. He’s been hurt as well and time is the only way for both of you to heal. Make sure to also give yourself time to heal alongside him. Don’t be too demanding on either of you. Some feelings need time to be acknowledged, worked through, and nurtured.

Last, but definitely not least, it’s essential to approach the situation from the mindset of personal growth. Winning the heart of your former lover takes tons of patience, care, and understanding. If you’re determined to win him back, make sure it’s for the right reasons and that both of you are willing to work through it together. Just two steps forward and one step back should do the trick!