When people feel shy, it can be difficult to take that big step of asking someone out. It’s inevitable that fear of rejection will accompany such a momentous possibility. Knowing what to say and do to get the relationship up and running can seem more daunting than ever before.
The art of conversation is much more complicated than saying a few words and waiting for a response. It needs finesse, intuition, and a certain amount of luck for it to come off successfully. Too much preparation can lead to awkwardness, and too little can leave the other person feeling a lack of interest. So how does one strike the perfect balance between banter, inquisition, and vulnerability? Here are a few tips on how to make that first move.
First and foremost, be sure that you are in the right state of mind. If your intentions are true and you have taken the time to meditate on the idea of having a relationship, then approach the other person with all the confidence you have. Bring your best qualities to the table, be yourself, and don’t try too hard to conform to someone else’s demographic. Fear of rejection should not be the driving force of your relationship.
Though conversation may seem intimidating at first, any relationship can remain strong if communication is strong. Find common interests and topics that you both enjoy and talk about those shared experiences. Even mundane conversations can help you to get to know each other better and build trust between you. When talking about serious matters, though, be sure to listen intently and always treat the other person’s opinion with respect – even if you don’t always agree.
When you do decide to take the plunge and ask someone out, keep it simple. You don’t need to put on a show or make grand gestures, but you should show genuine interest and enthusiasm for whatever you two decide to do together. Show that you deeply care about this person and would like to continue deepening your relationship in a meaningful way.
Finally, don’t forget to breathe. Be mindful of your body language and vocal inflection. Try to relax and be open to whatever comes your way. Don’t immediately expect results, but don’t give up either. The path leading to your desired outcome may be winding and rocky, but with patience and good attitudes the spark will eventually catch fire.
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