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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    How to Ask Someone Out: Overcoming Fear and Making the Right Move

    Asking someone out on a date can be terrifying. The fear of rejection and feeling of vulnerability can be overwhelming and make us wish we could take it back. While putting yourself out there and going for it might be difficult, the reward can be so much greater than the risk. If you want to ask someone out but are apprehensive, this guide can help you manage your fear, work up the courage and ask them out confidently.

    When in doubt, think about what is the worst thing that could happen. The answer opens the door to a plethora of potential results, however all but one could be considered a positive outcome. If the person says no, try to keep in mind that they are doing you a favor. Rejection often means they know they don’t want to take things further, which allows you to move on without any confusion.

    It also can be wise to remember that people rarely reject someone in a cruel way. Very rarely do people want to be mean, so if they’re feeling uncomfortable or don’t want to go out with you, they will likely be polite. Knowing this should help ease your worries.

    If the thought of actually asking someone out terrifies you, there are some unique ways to ‘ask without asking’. When you’re comfortable enough around someone, check to see if they’re interested in a group environment. If they agree and you have a great time, there’s a chance they’d like to continue that in a private setting. Teasing and flirting also let them know you’re interested and can create organic conversation. Laughing at their jokes, smiling when you make eye contact and providing compliments are easy ways to show someone you’re interested.

    Once you’ve taken the plunge and asked someone out, keep in mind that it’s not the only opportunity you will ever get. If the date doesn’t turn out to be as great as you hoped, learn from it and move on. Even if the worst happens and they say no, remaining optimistic and confident will better prepare you for the next time.

    Perhaps the biggest hurdle when asking someone out is the fear of the unknown. Fear of failure and fear of the future can often become greater than the reward of success. To combat this fear it can be beneficial to imagine how great it would feel if they say yes. Imagine their response and the happiness you will feel if their answer is positive. Allow yourself to be an optimist and project the best outcome.

    No matter how nerve wracking asking someone out might feel, it is worth it. Being brave and going for it will draw out potential, even if you experience rejection. Asking someone out is always a risk, but by keeping the above concepts in mind and visualizing the best possible outcome, it can give you the courage to take the leap.

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