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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    How to Ask a Girl Out - Tips and Advice for Shy Boys

    Asking a girl out can be intimidating and downright nerve-wracking — no matter your disposition. If you are introverted or shy, then it might seem near impossible. But there is a way! Here are some tips and advice to help introverted and shy boys build the confidence they need to ask somebody out.

    First, take a deep breath and allow yourself to believe that you have the confidence to take on this potentially new adventure. Accept that it's quite alright to have insecurities, and don't be too hard on yourself for feeling them — you're not alone. Everyone gets nervous and self-conscious when first meeting someone. But by acknowledging these feelings and that it's normal to have them, you will be able to feel more at ease when it comes time to initiate the conversations that come before asking somebody out.

    One way to gain confidence when first meeting someone is to practice being social and talking with people whenever possible. “Fake it till you make it” is a tried and true adage that has proven itself helpful in many social situations. Before you meet someone you want to date you can improve confidence by simply getting more comfortable speaking publicly. You can try answering questions in class, having short conversations with store clerks and neighbors, or joining local clubs and events.

    Once you're feeling a bit more confident, find an opportunity to begin a conversation with the person you'd like to date. Make sure to keep the conversation light; you don't need to jump directly into the dating conversation. Remember, the conversation should be a two-way street, so learn how to listen patiently, ask follow-up questions, and keep eye contact. Being interested in the other person and paying attention to the details you talk about between each other matters. Once you feel like the conversation has really gotten flowing and the other person is enjoying themselves, that's the best time to transition into asking that special someone out.

    When it comes to the actual act of asking someone out, don't sweat it. Keep it casual and low pressure. Go for drinks, a movie, lunch, or something else simple. The person you are asking may be feeling just as scared and vulnerable, so putting them at ease right away can help you both to relax and enjoy the date.

    Once the date has been initiated, remember to stay focused on the other person. Pay attention to what they say and thoughtfully respond. Talk about things that interest the other person and get them to open up. Make sure they know they can trust you and that you genuinely care about getting to know them better. This will go a long way in amplifying the chances of having your date excitedly agree to a second one down the line.

    The bottom line is that despite being introverted or shy, there is still a way for you to use confidence and discretion to attract and engage prospective dates. From practicing social skills to making the actual ask, there are a variety of ways to make it happen. As long as you remain thoughtful and patient, you will be able to navigate the process of dating successfully. Good luck!

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