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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    How Do I Show Her That I'm Interested?

    Dear eNotAlone: I'm a college student and I recently met a new girl. We talked for a couple of hours and it was obvious that we have good chemistry. We've seen each other a few times after that and everything seemed to go well. Last weekend, I asked her if she wanted to do something over the weekend, but she said she was busy. I don't know what to do. I want to pursue this relationship but I'm not sure how. How do I show her that I'm interested, without pushing her away?

    * * *

    Are you feeling perplexed as to how to make the next move in your budding romance? Well, you're certainly not alone! Figuring out what someone else wants can be tricky, but here are some tips to help you navigate the tricky waters ahead.

    Firstly, start by allowing the relationship to progress naturally. Asking too much of someone who is only just getting to know you is certain to push away, no matter how genuine your intentions are. Spend some time together, share stories, and slowly get a sense of one another. Remember that relationships take time to develop, especially at the start.

    Taking the time to figure out what you both like and enjoy can be incredibly helpful in deepening your connection. Think about the activities that both of you enjoy doing together and try building on those experiences. Ask friends and family for advice on gathering spots and fun ideas for date nights- you will most likely find them willing to help. Outings such as picnics and hikes can be refreshing, with the opportunity to get to know each other whilst enjoying some natural beauty and fresh air. Plus, guys can always leverage their creativity for something special: if there's a place she mentioned that she'd love to visit, pick a day and plan a surprise!

    One key element to any relationship is communication, so try to talk with her about what she likes and is interested in. Take this opportunity to open up yourself- remember, it's a two-way street! A good way to start these conversations is to ask her questions, as this will demonstrate to her that you are interested in getting to know her. if you manage to show her that you are a good listener, she will trust you more and will be metaphorically swept into your arms.

    Once you manage to create a trusting environment, you can let her know how you feel in an appropriate manner. A simple but sincere compliment or an unexpected token of appreciation can be a good start, as long as you don't try to rush things. You may consider discussing bigger topics once you feel more comfortable with each other.

    Don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go exactly to plan. Everybody makes mistakes and it is perfectly normal to make a few before you understand what the other person is actually looking for. Enjoy the process and make sure your motives remain pure.

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