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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    How Can I Move Forward with a Confusing Relationship?

    I'm writing in absolute desperation and looking for your help. Two months ago I met this amazing girl who had me feeling like I was head-over-heels from the get-go. From the first time we met, when she coyly smiled and sent my brain into a tailspin, I knew she was someone special.

    We hit it off and started seeing each other. At first it was fun, filled with late-night text messages and playful banter, but the more we talked, the deeper our connection went. Two months later and emotions are running high. We both have all these tedious feelings that seem inescapable.

    The tricky part is this; it's as if our brains know what they want, but our hearts just don't agree. That chemistry is unrivaled, yet when we`re together my girl always seems hesitant. As if she was waiting for signs, ones I can't pick up on. We flirt like crazy and laugh until our stomachs hurt, yet, something keeps holding her back.

    Sleepless, for weeks I've been wracking my brains about all of this, but I must be missing something, because I don't know what to do. One of us needs to make the move, but who? It seems to me she's waiting for me.. But then why isn't she telling me? Am I reading too much into this, or should I do something? I'm so confused right now and I have no idea what to do.

    It's such a confusing situation, I can't think straight. I feel like I'm walking around in circles and I don't have a way out of it. I couldn't be more lost! This has me overwhelmed and feeling insecure, so please tell me--what can I do to move this forward?

    * * *

    You're certainly not alone in this confusing situation. While having strong feelings and chemistry with someone is awesome, it's totally normal for things to get a bit chaotic when someone holds back, even if only slightly.

    There are several ways to figure out what's really going on. First, it may be a good idea to ask her if there's something she wants from the relationship that she isn't expressing. Sometimes people won't open up until you take initiative and probe a bit deeper. You can also try taking a step back. Back up a bit and let her come to you. Actions often speak louder than words, so show her through your behavior that you care and see how she responds.

    If that doesn't work, it's time to ask the hard questions. Do the two of you want the same things? Does she feel the same way as you? It's difficult to bring up these kinds of conversations, especially with unclear scenarios, but they are necessary to get clarity. Open communication is key to resolving any issues and getting to the bottom of her hesitation.

    The choice is yours. It's possible that time and patience is all that's needed, but if you don't feel comfortable waiting it out, you could always express how you feel and just go for it.

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