How Can I Improve my Ability to Connect with Women?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm having a tough time reading women. I don't find it easy to understand how they're feeling or why they're thinking the way they do. My confusion is joined by frustration, since it feels like no matter what I go, I keep coming up short. It's become such a sore point for me that I'm starting to feel like I'll never find a connection with anyone.

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Learning to read women can be difficult, but it is far from impossible. With patience, practice and a keen eye, you'll be better equipped to make meaningful and lasting connections with women.

First and foremost, you need to be open and willing to listen. Too often, people view conversations as an opportunity to convey their own opinions and key points. Instead, view your conversations as a chance to hear another person; focus on really understanding what's being said, and you'll likely learn the true intentions of who you're speaking with. Taking the time to pay attention to nuance and underlying messages is essential if you want to truly know what someone is saying.

Second, do your best to try and put yourself in the other person's shoes. This requires having empathy and sympathy for someone else. Doing so helps you better understand the emotions and feelings that lie below the surface of a conversation. Put yourself in their perspective and try to be understanding, forgiving and patient and you might come to an improved understanding of their true feelings.

Practice active watching. To do this, you need to open your mind and observe both verbal and nonverbal communication cues. Different forms of body language, such as facial expressions, posture, hand gestures and tone of voice, can tell you a lot about a person. By being attentive to a woman's behavior, you can get a far more intimate view of what she's feeling and thinking.

Understanding women isn't easy. It can take some time until you start to unravel their complexities. However, learning to interpret these cues – both verbal and unspoken – can help you cultivate meaningful relationships with others. Above all, be kind and stay positive. Hopefully with a little understanding, you'll be able to form deeper connections with the women around you.