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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Hopping Out of the 'Situationship' – Is it time?

    Strolling hand in hand, dining at fancy restaurants and being coy about the inevitable what-are-we-questions; is your relationship a little grey? Have you been playing hide and seek with expectations, still unsure of what to classify it as? Well, darling, it’s time to take a long hard look at it – you’re probably stuck in a 'situationship'.

    A 'situationship' is often the precursor to a committed relationship long desired. It can also be an ambiguous state of confusion for those unwilling to get into the technicalities of what their relationship is defined as. It is often the first step before a budding love story or the building blocks of a solid foundation in communication and trust. But more often than not, it’s just a mirage of a meaningful romance.

    If you’re trying to figure out if you’re in a 'situationship', it’s probably because there are several signs you’re already seeing. For starters, there’s no real, clear expectations set within the relationship. You aren’t quite sure where it's going and playing the guessing game is a daily affair. Perhaps you’ve discussed the merits of a committed relationship, only to have all conversations stopped abruptly. You know for sure that you two share something, but what it is remains a murky uncertain discussion.

    Sometimes there are functional benefits that make 'situationships' attractive. Maybe your partner provides emotional/physical support without the baggage of commitment. Or, sometimes you rely on spending quality time together, indulging in ‘good times’ without really wanting anything substantial out of the relationship. Throughout it all, you don’t pick or label it as romantic. It is unmistakably a 'situationship'.

    The trickiest part of knowing when to call it quits on a 'situationship' is its nature as an ambiguous state of relationships. Once you’ve identified a 'situationship' and established your feelings on it, the next step is to decide whether to move forward with it or terminate it altogether. If both parties are on the same page and willing to mutually work on the relationship, the awkward grey area chatter may lead to a solidified partnership.

    But if the conflicting ideas start to rip apart the thin web you’ve both created, it’s time to seriously consider terminating it. If you both are forming expectations of the future while having to plead each other every now and then, it’s a sign that the relationship is draining you. Don’t allow yourself to stay in a place where you feel mentally exhausted for someone that won’t commit.

    The best way to approach ending a 'situationship' is to be honest. Set aside any fears and opinions, sprinkle your conversation with respect and compassion, and fill it with honesty. Be aware of the ways you can hurt the other person, and take steps to limit damage by remaining mindful – even in heated arguments. patience is a key element. Both of you will need time to process the end-result, so give one another the chance to do so without hastening the mourning process.

    It can be easy to get comfortable in a 'situationship.' You’re safe from questions about tying the knot or moving in together, so you can lull into a false sense of security. But it’s better to cut ties before you lose a part of yourself in this undefined relationship. Causes chaos in the clouds and accept that it’s time to move on. Create symbols of strength from the memorexx; relive happy moments but know that walking away is just as beautiful. Break those restraints and seize contentment, seeking clarity and leaving confusion behind.

    The decision to move out of a 'situationship' can be daunting, but the beauty of it lies within your power. The reins are in your hands, so have faith in your decision and never be afraid of an opportunity to redefine yourself. Hop off the relationship rollercoaster, compose yourself and get ready to solemnly bid adieu.

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