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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Loneliness in Your Quest for Love

    We’ve all been there. That feeling of being left behind or out of the loop, of being in the shadows while everyone around you appears to be thriving in relationships and love. You feel like a distant relative at family events, shut out from the joy that others seem to be getting from a partner they can share life with.

    It’s easy to become overwhelmed by the sense of loneliness when there’s no one special in your life. It’s also easy to blame yourself. After all, you’re the one who is looking for love and hasn’t found it yet, right? While it’s true that we all need to take responsibility for our own lives, there’s only so much self-blame we can point at ourselves before we start to sink into a deeper depression.

    It can be incredibly challenging to break out of this cycle of loneliness, but it’s not impossible. Especially when you can recognize that being without a special someone doesn't mean you’re any less than someone who does have a partner. It does, however, require some self-reflection.

    It starts with understanding why it is that we feel lonely. Do we think that the only way to experience joy and fulfillment is to be part of a couple? Or to be recognized by someone else as worthy of their love? It’s important to remember that while relationships are an important source of connection and joy, they aren’t the only thing that makes life worth living. Learning to find value and contentment within ourselves can be a powerful factor in developing a healthy relationship with others too.

    The next step is to become aware of what it is we want in a partner. A little self-awareness can help us out here. Knowing what kind of things we react positively to in others will help us find those same qualities and qualities in potential partners. For example, is it kindness, wit, intelligence, openness or a combination of all these qualities? Once the answer to these questions become clearer, then we can begin to actively seek out these qualities in potential partners.

    Finally, being courageous and taking action can be the key to turning all that introspection and self-reflection into something more tangible. Many people fall into the trap of waiting for someone to come along and sweep them off their feet, but sometimes taking the initiative is the only way to break that cycle. Whether it’s attending social events, trying online dating, or even just talking to people in day-to-day life, taking the risk of putting yourself out there can lead you to those connections you’ve been hoping for.

    Loneliness can be a heavy burden, but it doesn’t have to remain an unmovable obstacle. With a bit of self-reflection and courage, we can break through the barrier of loneliness and finally find the love we’re looking for.

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