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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    Finding the Right Time: Steps to Take After a Super-Cool Date Fizzles

    ‘No matter how super-cool a guy might be, sometimes the date just doesn’t last. It isn’t right to feel like you’re stuck in a fog, wondering if it was something you said or perhaps a look you gave. With all that emotion, it may be hard to think clearly, but there are some steps you, and even your super-cool date, can take to move forward without feeling like the evening was a total bust.

    Remember That It Takes Two

    It can be tempting to point the finger at yourself when things don’t work out on a date, but it takes two. Be gentle with yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should ignore any red flags you may have noticed earlier, or any blame that you know you bear, but doling out unwarranted criticism isn’t fair to you and won’t help the situation. Make sure you take into account his want for the evening and feelings of the evening before jumping to conclusions.

    Take Time to Reflect on Feelings

    Take some notes any night after the date, not necessarily blog posts, but enough for you to understand the evening and tangibly review what worked and what didn't. Writing things down helps to clear your head and allows you to create an objective snapshot of what happened. Don't be afraid to give yourself a little space to yourself and reconnect with some of your favorite places and activities while reflecting and deciding which steps to take next.

    Reaching Out

    If you and your super-cool date had a good time and want to try again, reach out. If things weren’t as successful, don’t force it. If he reaches out, you can still be friendly, but remember, don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

    Be Open To Moving Forward

    If you decide to move on after a date fizzles, then do so in an open-minded way. Just because the date didn't turn out as planned, doesn’t mean the individual isn’t still super-cool; instead, keep an open mind. Even if the date ends with a fizzle, it is still possible to stay open to meeting similar personalities without dwelling on negative emotions.

    Sometimes things don’t work out as planned, but finding the right time and place to mingle with someone who understands your personality can be a difficult, yet wonderful experience. Don’t be afraid to try it again, even if your first attempt fizzled.

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