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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    Embrace Authentic Love: Discover Your True Self (Feel the Magic!)

    There exists an open secret to becoming a beacon of attraction for men. It entails nurturing a vibrant, fulfilling life, not as a ploy, but from a genuine respect for your self-worth and life mission.

    Imagine this scenario: You've recently started dating someone who sparks your interest. The excitement propels you to want to spend every waking moment with him. Gradually, you notice a shift in your priorities. You're investing less time with friends, family, or at work. Your usual gym sessions or hobbies take a backseat as your new partner becomes your primary focus. You start aligning your time more around his hobbies than yours. Say he's a sports enthusiast, you might find yourself frequently in sports bars or at his friends' houses watching games.

    Within a few weeks, your relationship becomes your life's nucleus. Initially, it feels like a dream. But soon, you start experiencing subtle changes that feel anything but dreamlike. You've gained weight, feel less energetic and attractive, and your work no longer excites you. A couple of months down the line, resentment seeps in, making you feel emotionally drained. The spark in your sex life starts to fade, and he seems more distant. Suddenly, this once thrilling relationship mirrors past experiences you hoped to avoid.

    Does that sound familiar? If you find yourself feeling disoriented within a few weeks or months of starting a new relationship, you might be wondering, "What in the world just happened?" The answer is simple: you lost yourself. Instead of integrating your new relationship into your existing life, you've made the fatal error of contorting yourself into the image you believe he desires, to maintain the relationship and keep him satisfied.

    This 'pretzel dance' approach never succeeds. Adjusting your behavior or attempting to be someone different from your authentic self is a disaster waiting to happen. He is attracted to the real you, not a woman who has no life outside of him. Here are some examples of losing yourself in the pretzel dance:

    • Cancelling plans with your friends to spend time with him, especially if you're not truthful about it.
    • Frequently arriving late at work or leaving early.
    • Halting workouts because you prefer to stay in bed and cuddle.
    • Quitting activities you're passionate about.
    • Disconnecting from family and friends.
    • Not making time for anything else but him.
    • Neglecting your physical and emotional health.

    You are a unique individual with a purpose on this earth. Twisting yourself like a pretzel to fit into his world isn't that purpose. Meeting someone you're attracted to can be exhilarating, and it's natural to want to spend as much time as possible with him. However, there's an alternative worth considering.

    Try integrating your new love interest into your existing life. Expand your world instead of contracting to fit his. Trust that spending time apart is healthy. If it creates a problem, perhaps it's not the kind of relationship you want. Time apart for two mature and complete adults fuels deeper conversations and intensifies sexual passion.

    You can maintain a vibrant life, including a successful career, close relationships with friends and family, and a wonderful romantic relationship. That's the only way a good relationship will blossom into a magical one. However, understand that maintaining your life is not the same as playing hard to get.

    Embrace Your World: Create Your Own Success Story

    Men are no different than women in this context. They aspire to be with someone who is vibrant, engaged, and actively participating in life. They desire a woman who can introduce them to new horizons and is both fascinated and fascinating.

    Class 101 in Staying Engaged: Embrace Your Inner Powerhouse

    One way to stay engaged is to channel your energy into being a powerhouse of success and prosperity. The concept, borrowed from Karen Salmansohn's insightful book, "The 30-Day Plan to Conquer Your Career," suggests being a star in your profession. Regardless of whether you're working in a fast-food chain or helming a Fortune 500 company, approach everything with totality and excellence. Always be punctual, stay committed to your word, bring fresh ideas to the table, care for those around you, solve issues, and be an agent of change. Strive to be the best in your field or even the world!

    If you're contemplating a career change, that's all the more reason to shine in your current job. Operating with excellence at present will give you the mental and energetic momentum to excel in your new role. It also cultivates good karma. When you eventually move on, your employers will likely support you with a stellar recommendation and perhaps leave an open door for future opportunities.

    If you're an entrepreneur, contemplate ways to upgrade your business. Is there a new product or service you've been eager to launch? How can you cultivate loyal customers by enhancing your customer service? How can you extend your reach to more people with your products or services? Could you potentially impact thousands or even millions more?

    The 'M' in the 'Powerhouse' stands for money, a vital part of creating and maintaining your world. It is paramount because many women often delay taking control of their financial lives, hoping (or conditioned to believe) that a man will handle it for them. This mindset can lead to a disaster. You are intelligent and capable. To truly unleash your allure, invest in your financial health now and continue to do so even when you're in a relationship.

    If managing finances seems daunting, consider seeking advice from a financial coach. I highly recommend David Bach, a bestselling author of various books, including "The Automatic Millionaire," "Smart Women Finish Rich," and "Smart Couples Finish Rich." His advice is lucid, straightforward, and most importantly, effective.

    Every relationship offers an opportunity either to discover more about your individuality and grow as a human being, or to bend yourself out of shape, trying to fit into the mold of who you think your partner wants you to be. Despite what your mind may tell you, your partner is attracted to the real you—the authentic you that he first met—not the distorted version you think he desires.

    Committing to being yourself from the outset and communicating your truth no matter what can eliminate virtually all the drama, distress, and anxiety of not knowing where you stand that many women experience daily. Most women fear authenticity because they mistakenly believe that they're not enough just as they are. This "I'm not enough" mindset is not only misleading but also detrimental to your well-being and ability to have a loving and satisfying relationship.

    Being yourself and expressing your truth from the moment you meet is the secret to allowing relationships to unfold naturally and authentically. It is also the key to maintaining your irresistible charm.

    Be yourself. Communicate what works for you and what doesn't. Do it from day one and never stop. This is the most potent step you can take at the beginning of any relationship to pave the way for long-term success.

    Speaking of relationship success, don't mistake relationship longevity with relationship success. Just because a relationship lasts for many years doesn't necessarily mean it's successful. A successful relationship is not solely about duration; it's about the quality of interaction between two people. It's about being happy, feeling loved, respected, and cherished. It's about growth, understanding, and mutual support.

    In a successful relationship, both partners should feel safe to express their emotions and needs, be their authentic selves, and pursue their dreams. They should feel secure enough to show vulnerability, and strong enough to support each other during challenging times. A successful relationship is, above all, a partnership of equals, where both parties feel valued and loved for who they truly are.

    So, how do you create such a relationship?

    Embrace Your Authenticity: The Key to a Successful Relationship

    Here's the truth: you don't need to be perfect to be loved. The idea that you need to be flawlessly beautiful, eternally cheerful, or endlessly accommodating to attract or keep a man is a myth. A man who truly loves you will accept you as you are, with all your imperfections. He will see the beauty in your authenticity, your true essence.

    If you've been hiding your true self or suppressing your needs and desires to please others, it's time to stop. It's time to embrace your authenticity and start living a life that aligns with your values and desires.

    Here's a simple exercise to help you get started:

    1. Take a sheet of paper and make two columns.

    2. In the first column, write down all the things you've been doing or saying to please others, even though they don't align with your true feelings, needs, or desires.

    3. In the second column, write down what you would rather do or say if you were being true to yourself.

    4. Once you're done, take a moment to review your list and make a commitment to start aligning your actions and words with your true self.

    Be aware that embracing your authenticity might initially feel uncomfortable, especially if you're used to pleasing others. You might face resistance or criticism from people who are used to the "old" you. But you're not responsible for their reactions. Your responsibility is to yourself and your happiness.

    Stay True to Your Values: Your Compass in Life and Relationships

    Your values are your internal compass, guiding you towards decisions and actions that are in line with your true self. When you're clear about your values, you can make decisions that feel right for you, regardless of what others might think or say.

    Here are a few questions to help you identify your core values:

    1. What is most important to you in life?

    2. What do you need in a relationship to feel happy and fulfilled?

    3. What are the non-negotiables in a relationship for you?

    4. What are your passions, and how do they align with your values?

    Your values are your guiding principles. They can help you make decisions that honor your true self and lead you to a fulfilling and satisfying life and relationships.

    As you continue on your journey towards self-discovery and self-love, remember that you're enough just as you are. You deserve to be loved and cherished for who you truly are, not for who you think you should be. So embrace your authenticity, stay true to your values, and create your own success story.

    And the most irresistible charm you can have is being your authentic self.

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