A profound misconception permeates the minds of many women, myself included at one point, that men or relationships hold the power to make us feel complete, secure, less isolated, and generally successful. This perception is deeply entrenched in our societal narrative, convincing us that we are incomplete or just a fragment until we tie the knot or enter a committed relationship. It's the infamous "you complete me" syndrome, perfectly demonstrated in the Jerry McGuire movie. Remember the scene where Renée Zellweger and Tom Cruise proclaim their love for each other, uttering those three little words in a tear-jerking manner?
It might be heartwarming and entertaining on the silver screen, but in reality, this mindset can wreak havoc on women's (and men's) emotional stability and their ability to maintain a functional relationship. Holding the belief that a relationship (or anything else) will somehow complete you, save you, or magically transform your life is a guaranteed path to unhappiness and singleness.
The paradox is that the reality is quite the opposite. The essential understanding to grasp is that no external entity can ever generate a continuous sense of completeness, security, or success. There's no man, relationship, job, wealth, property, car, or anything else that can deliver a sustained sense of happiness, satisfaction, security, and fulfillment within you.
The term 'save' might cause some confusion. Here, it denotes the misguided belief that a relationship can alleviate inherent human emotions like emptiness, loneliness, insecurity, or fear. It suggests that finding a companion will somehow "rescue" you from yourself. It's crucial to realize that these feelings are a natural part of the human experience, validating our existence and life pulse. The real question to ponder is, what will you invest in: your insecurity or your allure? The choice is in your hands.
Recognizing that you are whole and complete in this very moment is like flipping a mental switch, enhancing your attractiveness, authenticity, and comfort in any dating scenario. All the desperate, needy, and clingy vibes that tend to repel men will dissipate as you stop trying to use a relationship as a band-aid for your self-perceived flaws. The truth is, you possess the capacity to experience happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment at this very moment. All you need to do is start living your life as if you count, as if you matter, as if your every action contributes to the world. Because in reality, it does.
This means it's time to quit postponing your dreams, waiting for the "right time," or hesitating to take action towards your desires because deep inside you're anticipating the arrival of your Prince Charming to magically make everything better. You might be familiar with this mindset – the propensity to shy away from investing in your career, health, home, finances, or family because you're single, thinking that these aspects will eventually fall into place once you find "the one."
Let me share a secret with you: it's this very hesitation in your life that's keeping him at bay.
Don't wait until you find someone. you are someone. When you live each day passionately, acknowledging that the present moment is all you have, something magical happens. You start to experience happiness, satisfaction, security, and fulfillment consistently. Instead of merely going through the motions, secretly hoping for things to improve once Mr. Right enters the scene, you begin to live your life with vigor, awakening the captivating charm within you that's been waiting to take the reins. When you invest 100 percent into your life (interpret that as: approach everything like it matters), happiness, satisfaction, and irresistibility (bingo!) naturally follow. We'll delve into what it means to live each day with gusto in a subsequent section, explaining why it's the ultimate attraction. But for now, understand that contrary to popular belief, a relationship will not make you any happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied, more financially stable, or more emotionally balanced than you are at this moment.