Navigating the murky waters of constant insecurity can be a daunting challenge. Questions like "Am I too plump in this outfit?", "Do you still have feelings for me?", "Is she more attractive than me in your eyes?", or "Am I appealing enough for you?" are manifestations of an insecure psyche. These persistent doubts can be exasperating for your partner and, more importantly, detrimental to your sense of self-worth.
This perception of being deficient or "less than" is a mere illusion, a false representation of who you truly are. The constant quest for assurance, akin to a bottomless abyss, will never satiate your heart because the premise - that you are inadequate - is erroneous to begin with. This illusion, not being grounded in reality, cannot be healed because there's nothing to heal from.
Insecurity and self-doubt are part of the human emotional spectrum and will never entirely vanish. It's a universal human experience to feel the sting of not being "good enough." Yet, the secret to becoming irresistible lies not in wholly eradicating these thoughts, but rather in managing them effectively. Don't suppress or indulge in these thoughts, but rather acknowledge them. Notice these feelings, observe them, and allow yourself to say, "Interesting, there's that thought again… and?" Then, gently redirect your focus outward.
When those insecure thoughts arise, treat them as transient entities, like clouds drifting across the sky. Don't latch onto them or let them dominate your mind. This approach to handling insecure thoughts is an acquirable skill, an essential one for those aiming to be irresistibly charming. You have a choice: either fuel your self-doubt or invest in your charm. The latter, of course, is far more rewarding.
Here's a piece of practical advice. If you feel unflattering in a certain outfit, you probably are. This statement might seem harsh, but it's grounded in reality. Not all clothing suits all body types. Opt for attire that you know enhances your appearance and showcases your best features. Enlist a trusted friend to help you audit your wardrobe, eliminating any clothing items that make you question your appearance.
It's important to acknowledge that no matter how slim, successful, or attractive you become, insecure thoughts will still creep in. This is because external realities can't remedy an internal misconception. It's akin to treating a symptom instead of the underlying ailment. The remedy for the malady of insecurity is not to resist these feelings when they arise, but to allow them without dwelling on them. Instead, shift your focus to your surroundings - engage in a conversation, organize your desk, or perform any action that diverts your attention. As you divert your attention, your energy follows.
If you can simply notice insecure thoughts without personalizing them or attributing meaning to them, you'll find that they occur less frequently. In the process, you'll enhance your capacity to stay present and involved in your life, which is a crucial factor in revealing your authentic charm.
Let's face it, most of our thoughts are nonsense (yes, that's a somewhat scientific term). Nothing holds significance beyond the value we assign to it. With practice, we can train ourselves not to take our thoughts too seriously or personally, especially the negative ones. When they emerge, simply acknowledge them with a "Thank you for your input," and continue with your life.