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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    The Emotional Rollercoaster of Wanting Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

    Love can be a powerful force that cloud’s one’s judgment and can leave them feeling lost and confused. When you’re trying to get your ex-boyfriend back, it’s not just the desire to have them back that may overwhelm you, but all the emotions that come with such a decision. After all, does it even make sense to try to mend a relationship that has already been torn apart? We take a look at ways to evaluate this emotional rollercoaster and gain some clarity.

    Being single once again can be an intimidating transition for anyone, regardless of if you were the one that ended the relationship or if you were the one who got dumped. While in the midst of a breakup, it’s natural to pine after the person you shared things with and to reflect on the good times you had together. These thoughts might lead to the increased urge to reach out to your ex and try to win them back.

    Trying to get someone back who has already made the decision to move forward with their life can be a very trying endeavor and it is important to recognize that the closure you’re seeking may not always want to be found. It is possible to still want to fight for lost love but it is also essential to assess what it is that is motivating you to take such drastic action. Is it a fear of being alone or is it simply because you can’t imagine life without them? It’s important to stay away from reacting out of impulse and really into the complicated world of bringing your broken relationship back from the brink.

    Sometimes when the idea of getting back together with your ex enters your mind, it's incredibly hard to get it out of there again. The thought of being reunited with them can seem like a warm blanket on a cold day. It can be tempting to act only on emotions as opposed to logic for a time; however, to experience healing and clarity, it is best to lean into deep reflection of why you are choosing to pursue a thorny path such as this.

    Take a step back and question yourself as to why you want your ex back. Assess your feelings honestly and determine if you'd be settling by taking back a person who didn't initially want you anymore. Also consider the current state of your relationship, the reasons why it ended, and how much healing has taken place since the break up occurred. Conjuring up new and more joyful memories than the ones that may have ended the relationship can be helpful in deciding whether or not it is worth taking the chance on pursuing a reconciliation.

    This situation will come down to whatever emotions you are fulfilling by desiring your ex back and what route provides the most peace and validation for you. Would you feel better responsible for making an effort to get someone back you once loved or would you rather be in control of the outcome and start anew, leaving the door open for knowing that you could potentially have closure of an irreconcilable brokenness? Is it a feeling of needing to be whole again or do you feel like your life is incomplete without them?

    Ending a relationship is usually emotional, messy, and far from an easy feat. Coming to terms with the death of a relationship can definitely be a challenge but it is worth assessing your true values and the motives behind wanting to go back to a place that once consumed you. The break up hurdle can feel like a never-ending battle full of ups and downs but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that all hope is gone, especially if understanding and forgiveness is at the forefront of your heart.

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