When it comes to breakups, we often find ourselves striving for that perfect balance of an amount of time adequate to heal, forgive, let go and move on. We hear so much advice -- from well-intended family members, friends, and even complete strangers. A few tell us to take a couple of days, hold onto a few weeks or maybe months until it passes. The truth is, no matter how hard to accept, there is no universal recipe for healing from the broken pieces of a shattered heart.
For some, having a specific timeline or deadline to “get over” a breakup helps encourage the needed steps to recovery, such as self-care, and devoting energy to diversions from unfortunate memories from the relationship. On the other hand, some suggest that healing is ongoing, with no end date in sight.
The essential point to consider when dealing with curing a broken heart is that of being patient with our self. Each person operates and heals differently, with different needs and varying speeds. It all needs to be taken into account and if we can give ourselves permission to take time, and more time when necessary, then the recovery process feels much less stifling and suffocating than following a strict prescribed line on what is "normal".
It is therefore important to remember that while time alone may not identify and resolve the underlying issues causing the breakup, it can be used as an opportunity for personal growth and reflection, focusing on that which needs to be nurtured during this time of turmoil. Taking ample time to check in with our inner dialogue to discover, figure out, and explore our emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. Most importantly, however, reminding ourselves of the fact that 'the only way out is through', so no matter how long and hard it may be, the journey to healing from a breakup should be embarked upon.
Having said that, while it's okay to stick to a certain structure, don't be constrained by the timeframe recommended by others. Stay true to yours and take however much time you need to unwind, de-stress, and pick yourself back up. After all, regardless of the external pressure, it is our own recovery journey and we are in charge of it. Whether it’s a few days, weeks, months, or years, the individual healing period for each person is devised by no one but themselves.
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