Picking Up the Pieces: Advice on Moving On from a Breakup

When going through a breakup, it can feel like your world has shattered into a million pieces. You may question your worth, your capability to find love again, and whether or not you’ll ever be able to put the pieces back together. It might even seem like you can’t go on alone, that the thought of being single again is enough to stop you in your tracks. But while it’s okay to go through those emotions—heck, it’s normal—it’s important to remember that even shattered shards of glass can be put back together.

Everyone goes through breakups differently. Some wallow and grapple with confusing emotions for days on end, others take it all in stride, quickly seeking solace in friends and family. No matter how you grieve, it’s essential to remember that the process of moving forward begins with the first step: allowing yourself to feel. Whether it’s anger, sadness, grief, hatred, or acceptance, all of these emotions are valid, and feeling them can help you identify what it is you’re dealing with emotionally. They also may help you to recognize what it is you truly want and need, and make it easier to direct your focus towards achieving that.

After some time and self-reflection, you may realize that it’s lonely and scary out there being unexpectedly single. You may find yourself longing for the familiarity of the relationship you just left behind. Don’t be afraid, though: now is the time to move ahead and try finding yourself anew. Take a class, join a club, read a book, explore your city, do whatever it is that you simply haven’t had time for lately.

You can also consider taking this time to take stock of things that you’ve been neglecting. Maybe it’s a yoga class, therapy, or even just calling old friends—the list is endless. Regardless of what you choose to do, it’s important to make sure that you take time out to do something for yourself. As clichéd as it sounds, it will help you to move closer towards shifting into a mindset that’s better suited to handle the challenges that come with life post-breakup.

Remember to lean on your friends and family during this difficult time. Few things are more healing than getting the supportive ear of your closest confidante, who really knows you and cares about you. Allow your loved ones in, and let them ease the burden and pain of coming to terms with the breakup.

Finally, trust your own judgement. We all make mistakes, but learning from them is what’s most important. As you search for a way through uncharted waters, take comfort in knowing that you are strong enough to pick up the pieces, heal and move forward.