In a perfect world, break-ups go smoothly, with everyone moving on gracefully. However, that is often not the case, especially when one former partner moves on quickly. When your ex has a new significant other, it can be challenging to find peace with it all. After all, it was only just a few weeks ago that you were still in love and when it’s suddenly all over, and your ex is already replaced, it’s difficult to deal with both your heartache and your anger.
When faced with this type of situation, it’s important to remember that, at the end of the day, it isn’t for you to judge your ex and their new relationship. Allow yourself to feel your emotions of hurt and betrayal and then work towards letting it all go. The more energy you put into being angry and bitter about the situation, the longer recovery from your break-up will take – that’s why it’s crucial to start the healing process, however slowly, as quickly as you can.
Take a step back and reassess the situation objectively. How did the break-up occur? What kind of emotional space have you been in lately? All of these factors contribute to how you feel about your ex’s new relationship. So whatever the state of your emotions, don’t let them fuel destructive behavior and reactions. Instead, practice self-care and focus on healing your heart. If you need to cry it out, do it. You don’t even have to know why you’re crying, just let the feelings course through you. Don’t judge it, or push it away – just allow it to be how it is.
Next, try to forgive your ex. This is actually incredibly important – not only to help yourself move on, but also because if you want to ever be friends with them again, it’s something you will both need to do. This can be incredibly difficult, yet it’s essential for your healing process. To start, acknowledege the hurt and anger inside you and then ask yourself if holding onto it serves any purpose. Often, you'll come to the realisation that doing so won't make the situation any better or help you leave it behind in any way. It may even have adverse effects and the longer you hold onto it, the harder it will become to overcome it.
Once you start to feel a sense of forgiveness set in, make sure you take the time to express it. Writing letters, meditating and journaling are three great ways to do this. Once you’ve forgiven your ex, you should also extend a bit of understanding towards their new partner. No matter what the circumstances, they’re an important and significant part of your ex’s life now, so show a bit of compassion and empathy.
Challenge yourself to accept the new situation. Maybe look at it from a different angle. Instead of focusing on what you lack, figure out what you have. Maybe the two of you were wrong for each other in some way and are now with people who are better suited for them. This could be a learning opportunity for you to adjust and improve your future relationships, too.
Seek out some kind of closure by spending some time alone and reflecting. Don’t take any action, just let your thoughts flow, naturally and unjudged. These will help you understand yourself and the situation better, and slowly you’ll start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Break-ups, especially those where one partner quickly moves on with someone new, can be very challenging to overcome. It’s not easy, particularly when there is so much anger and hurt, but it’s possible to heal. Taking the time to process, forgive and understand is the best way to start making peace with your ex’s new relationship.
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