It isn't hard to feel as though everything that was between you and your love has gone wrong. You've had months of arguments, harsh words, and arguments that seemed to have been born from irreconcilable differences. After over two years together, the both of you agreed to end the relationship, and try to find your own ways forward without each other.
Perhaps you were expecting it at the time. But the longer time passes, the more you can find yourself yearning for what you had before. No matter how hard it is to admit, some relationships cannot be fixed in a moment. When it comes to getting back with an ex, it very well might be possible, but through a great deal of patience and hard work.
The first place to start if you've broken up with someone is to work on rebuilding your friendship. In the aftermath of a break up, you may feel as if anything remaining of your relationship is sore and fractured. Yet even if love wasn't enough to maintain a relationship, a friendship may still be salvageable. For example, try reconnecting with your Ex via phone or text message and chatting about small, casual topics such as current movie releases or restaurants opening near you. We all need companions who we can share our lives with, so don't be afraid to socialize and build good memories, no matter what the past was like.
Before you attempt to return to a romantic relationship with your Ex, identify the issues that caused the initial breakup. In any long-term relationship, there are bound to be problems, resentments, and misunderstandings. It's especially important to keep in mind when trying to reconcile with someone whose heart you broke. Perhaps you don't see eye to eye on specific political topics, or you took them for granted by way of too many nights out with friends. While difficult, it is essential to understand and express to them how these facets of your relationship were problematic. Don't assume they understand your thought process, but be sure to express your regret sincerely and with understanding.
In a healthy relationship, compromise is key. Are you willing to shift your thoughts and expectations in order to make things better? If not, it may be best to stay apart and work on developing those skills while not tied in a relationship. Find the courage to be vulnerable and honest with yourself and how you truly feel.
Setting boundaries and being clear on where you stand will help provide both of you with clear communication. Start off slow and build from a framework of mutual trust. Do not be surprised if your ex is unsure about wanting to enter another phase. Keep in mind that your feelings on the subject may not match theirs. This can cause tensions that can lead to unspoken doubts and expectations; discuss them with your Ex openly and mindfully.
Remind yourselves why you value each other's company. Take some time to look back at good memories, both sweet and tender moments conquered together, moments of laughter and joy. Consider the adventure traveled so far and the lessons learned. Drawing on your shared memories is essential to keeping ahold of what brought you together in the first place.
Take every day as it comes. It is perfectly alright to take as much time necessary to nurture the emotional and mental health of both parties. The goal must never be forgotten: reclaiming the relationship for a stronger and happier partnership. Every step should bring both partners closer on this long road back to being together again. It takes courage and resilience to recognize the good of the past and build on it in order to navigate the unknown of the future.