How Do I Move Forward After a Sudden Breakup?

I feel utterly overwhelmed and so desperately seeking for help. About a month ago my five-year relationship came to an abrupt and inexplicable end.

My friends tell me to just move on, but I'm left to graze my mind for answers over and over again, grasping for a sense of certainty by dissecting every single moment that we spent together in the last months.

We recently moved in together and were planning the two-week summer holiday that we were supposed to take next week. He had been distant for some time, even before we started living together, but still inviting me to hang out with him and his friends, full of compliments and never failing to show his emotions towards me. I didn't see it coming and the reasons he gave for the breakup are unconvincing for to me.

He told me he felt something was wrong, he said he wasn't sure what it was, but he thought it was better to break up than to push things further and regret later. We were both happy before, so how did things go wrong? I'm completely taken aback, hoping I could still make it work somehow, any ideas on how I should move forward?

What was the real reason for the breakup? Is there some advice you can give me to get past this heartbreaking experience? Can I still salvage this relationship and turn things back to the way they were?

* * *

As they say, hindsight is 20/20 and while it's easy to look through your relationship with a critical eye now that it's ended, what's done is done. Trying to map out the exact moments or details where things went wrong isn't going to give you closure; instead it may only create more confusion and heartache.

The truth is, many relationships simply run their course. It's easy to forget that our feelings change over time. You and your ex are no longer the same people who first started dating five years earlier.

Rather than searching for the answer to why things ended, focus on finding the answers within yourself. What would have made the relationship work for you? Are there changes that you're still not willing to make? Are you ready to move on?

It's natural to want to hold onto the good memories while brushing off the bad. But remember that sometimes, endings like these can be a blessing in disguise. While it's hard to accept at first, focus on creating a path to your own happiness.

Take time to nurture yourself. Rekindling old hobbies, spending time alone, and spending quality time with loved ones are all great ways to start that journey. Give yourself permission to think bigger and to identify some of those goals and dreams that you haven't allowed yourself to pursue. Chasing those goals or interests may eventually lead you to someone new and help you strengthen your outlook on relationships.