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  • Natalie Garcia
    Natalie Garcia

    Forgetting an Ex: How to Let Go When You Still Love Someone

    From the time we are old enough to comprehend the concept of love, we are taught that it is a good thing – a reward that can soothe the heart, offer acceptance, and bring warmth. It's no wonder then, that when we find ourselves in the midst of a beloved relationship gone wrong, it can cause us a world of pain.

    If you find yourself still in love with an ex, knowing how to move past it can be daunting. We want to cling onto the memory of what was without understanding that in order to move forward, we need to let go of the past. Here are some tips on how to cope with the complicated feelings of loving from afar.

    Put the Memories Away

    The longer we keep the memories of our ex close, the more difficult it becomes to forget about lost love. Start by putting away all photographs, cards, or letters that remind you of them. Better yet, discard of anything that these sentimental objects could bring back to life.

    Going through the act of putting away or throwing out items connected to our ex can help remind us that there are other things in life that are ahead of us. It also brings acknowledgement that everything comes to an end, even if we can’t fully process the emotions that come with it at the time.

    Talk To Others

    Pretending that things are “ok” after a breakup is not something that will get you anywhere. To accept the closure and start fresh, we need to come to terms with the fact that that part of our life is over. As hard as it may be, talking to and trusting those who are closest to you can be essential to this process.

    Sharing with someone else can bring a sense of validation to what you are feeling and allow you to come to terms with the end of your relationship. Other loved ones can also give us advice on how to move on and become our biggest cheerleader for when it seems like the moment has passed us by.

    Give Yourself Time

    Breaking up from a long-term lover or relationship can be just as hard as experiencing the death of a loved one. Knowing the importance of acknowledging that time is the greatest healer, try to proceed in forgiving yourself for taking the necessary time needed to get over the hurt.

    Avoid the common thought of finding someone new right away to replace what you have lost, as the only way to move on is to do it alone. Allowing yourself to breathe without rushing the healing period can make all the difference in the long run.

    Delve Into Your Interests

    A great way to occupy your mind off of the cause of your grief is to take up a hobby. Try something new, or take an old passion and rekindle it. Focus on in things that bring joy and pleasure to you, no matter how small the activity may be, such as painting, yoga, writing, or cooking.

    Exercise, particularly of endorphins such as running or biking, can be an amazing way to focus the energy towards leading a better life, both physically and mentally. In the same regards, being outdoors and communing with nature can bring forth clarity of the heart.

    When in Doubt, Keep Breathing

    After being in a romantic relationship, it’s normal to experience a variety of emotional lows. Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or anxious can take hold of us when all else fails. But, no matter how far down the spiral of thoughts that mind goes, it’s important to keep the body going.

    Stay mindful by practicing yoga, meditation, deep breathing, or guided mindfulness. Listening to calming music or background noise can help to take away any intrusive thoughts. If everything else fails, simply sit back, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.

    Remember that every experience of love, whether it be felt monumental or not, changes a person in some way. Loving someone has created a growth within you, and although sadness or regret may still linger, it is the reminder that only one truth prevails in the end: true happiness only exists today.

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