Breaking Up Without Breaking Down: Staying Strong When It's Hardest

At the moment of a breakup, it can feel like a tiny crack in the ground after an earthquake — you know the damage is done, and the effects will spread out with increasing magnitude for what may seem like eternity. You’ve had that conversation already once before this; you knew your situation was over, and now the truth has become reality. But how do you reconcile yourself with the notion that you were never meant to be? How do you move on in the face of heartache?

It’s true, breakups are hard, and the healing process doesn’t happen overnight. Emotions such as isolation, sadness, fear, anger, and pain will come and go — and these aren’t comfortable at all. What if you could find a way to facilitate your healing and stay as strong as possible as you face one of life’s greatest challenges?

It's important to remember that there are many strategies that you can use to remain poised in the midst of adversity. Here are some tips to help you remain strong when the going gets tough.

When the pain comes calling, the best thing to do is to stay busy. Find activities that put your mind in a different place — playing sports or taking a night class can both be great distraction methods that take some of the attention off your loss. Immersing yourself in the activities that fill you with joy provide suitable coping mechanisms, which will in turn make it easier to manage the emotions associated with grief.

It’s also beneficial to engage in honest conversations with family and friends. Healthy communication and emotional availability are key to being able to remain close to those beloved ones who support us. Instead of withdrawing into a shell, create chances to open up to people you trust and disclose your inner thoughts and feelings. When faced with major personal losses, we need not withstand alone, nor ought we bottle it in and stoically pretend nothing ever happened.

Dive into self-care and self-love activities. While it may be easy to feel down, hurting yourself through unhealthy behavior only weakens you further. Treat yourself to activities which reinforce your sense of self-worth: listen to calm music, watch comedy movies, enjoy a hot bath and write positive affirmations to yourself; focusing on the present moment will soon lead to a more positive outlook on the future.

Create memories. Chances are that positive memories from your past relationship will draw an unbearably nostalgic sensation, but there are plenty of ways to cope with these feelings. Look through old photos, and instead of seeing the negative parts, focus on the good moments and activities that you enjoyed together. Write a list and later burn it — this simple ritual can help many to find a closure.

Life experience teaches us that everything happens for a reason, and no circumstance is permanent. Breakdowns come and go, and so do break-ups. Although at the time, it’s hard to accept. Utilize the above strategies without feeling guilty or shameful, since you do not deserve anything but strength and respect. With time, you will blossom again, just like a flower taking shape after an unpredictable storm.