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I once again, had another light bulb moment go off for me this week. I had a very stressful week, and I find that in those moments of great stress, when things calm down again, you can sometimes find great clarity about different things in life. (not always, but sometimes). I realized that there is a huge difference between avoiding a situation and actually being healed from a situation. Anytime any of us goes through an upsetting situation, the obvious choice in the future, is to avoid that kind of situation. I had not allowed myself into a certain situation for years...many, many years. I had thoughts on it, and I could see how badly it affecte…

A man lives next door. We can each other's balconies. Sometimes I see him peeking at me when you I'm watering my plants outside. I live alone and not dating at the moment. He uses a walker. I ran into him a couple of times and his personality seemed a bit harsh. I'm very soft spoken and gentle. One day there was a knock at my door. It was him in the hall with his walker. He started complaining he's having various problems, including how large his electricity bill is. I was flabbergasted. I only stood there for 2 minutes and said I had to go. I have a history of getting involved with men who are not good for me. I'm too nice, I'm told. I don't wa…

I am dating this girl for a year, but I have never been invited to visit her family. - She posts lots pictures on social media, but there's zero of us after a year. - We were supposed to go to Spain together and last second she goes with her family. I wasn't invited. - A few months ago she posted a provocative picture and wrote "free and new chapter of my life" after an argument. - Last week we met and I noticed she was writing someone, it was her last boyfriend. - For my birthday I asked (as a joke, but wanted to see her reaction) if she would be willing to share a picture of us as a couple and it would mean the world to em. She refused. I got no…

Hi Everyone, I am a 30 year old guy, in a relationship with a girl the same age as me. We have been together for 3 years now. Everything is great and we are currently looking at buying a house together. I'm worried that we have differing opinions about marriage. I have never wanted to get married. I have always made this clear. She has always been kind of wishy-washy about it and I didn't think it was a big deal, until a couple of times recently that she has made comments about wanting to get married. I've explained to her that I don't really understand the concept of a marriage. IMO, I don't see the point in spending tens of thousands on a wedding …

I'm dating this guy for a couple of months and had an amazing time. We did get physical around 5+ times as of now. He usually will text me the next day morning to check up on me or to plan a next meet for lunch or something. Last time we met, we went to my fav dinner place and watched a movie at his place then got physical but next day I got no text. So, I sent him a pic of something funny and his reply was just "Haha". It is crickets for the last 4 days. I have not reached out to him yet. I can see his home from my home, we are on the same street. It isn't like his phone broke or something, he is quite active on social media. I have no clue if he got bored of me and to m…

I know what i'm doing is not smart, but I can't bring myself to stop. For more backstory/context of my situation feel free to look at my previous posts. I have not reached out to him a single time which I am proud of myself for, yet he has reached out a few times to have sex in which I responded and we have seen each other a few times in the span of a month. We communicate very openly about the situation luckily and have set clear boundaries, however I still feel weird. He told me a week ago(last time we met) that he doesn't think he will get over me if we continue hooking up and that he knows its unhealthy for both of us but laughed it off because he doesn't care. to me …

Words of wisdom worth sharing: 1.) You can be a friend to someone (phone them, message them, plan outings, etc, but if they're not a friend to you (reciprocating all of those things), then that's not your friend. That's you being a friend to them, but it's not being reciprocated. One way relationship, but not an actual friendship. Those that don't make efforts back, or don't treat you as well as you do them, just let them go. Find actual friends, not one way relationships. 2.) Tolerance in a group, or with an individual, does not mean friendship. They may be polite to you (even friendly), they may tolerate you, but that doesn't make you friends. There is a world…

Hello ENA people, I feel the need to ask this here because I'm sure some of you can help me figure out this minor problem. Our dog is a small breed, some kind of terrier mix, he is adorable and very very sweet - good with all our kids, thinks our baby is his baby. I thought a smaller dog would have more anxiety with kids, but it doesn't seem to be that bad. Sometimes he does shake when around our daughter, but I think it's because they've had bad experiences as per below: I seem to suck at training him not to jump on the couch too fast. I want him to be able to sit there with all of us, but I don't allow him to anymore because he can't seem to slow dow…

Thursday night I went to a party being hosted by one of my co-workers and we were celebrating another co-worker's birthday. I honestly felt a bit out of my element, being the only person there who didn't drink and one of few who didn't vape or smoke weed in the backyard. But regardless of that, there was one point during the party where I was approached by one of my female co-workers who we'll just call "Ann". Ann was easily the most drunk person there by a country mile and there was a point while standing around the fire in the backyard where she went up to me and told me that she's always thought that I was cute and that she'd want to be with me if it weren't for the fa…

I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 3 years now. She is Bipolar and recently had an episode and back on meds after being off meds for about 2 years. I told her from day 1 that I own an investment property with my ex husband and other investor and that it is purely financial with no emotional ties. I also shared that towards the end of the relationship, there were times when things got out of hand and boundaries were crossed (some body hitting and he threw a ceramic something at me). Our relationship was never violent until the very end of our divorce when I came out as gay (I was about 39 at the time). I didn't contact the authorities because frankly, I was …

Hi, I've dated SO for a year and a half, friends six months before that. He has never given me reason to doubt him before, but lately he's been so preoccupied with work issues (mainly due to COVID), his mom sick with worsening dementia, and school (college online). He's 38 IDK if that helps. I live on the east coast; he lives on the west coast. It's been over a month since he's visited, and he got angry the last time i asked for specific dates because he said i should empathize with how ill his mother is and how I shouldn't doubt that he would come if he could. Today I told him that he should focus on his work, school, and mother, and forget about all our plans such as hi…

A little background: during the whole pandemic I ended up meeting someone through a bunch of church zoom calls last year that I got to know through text and phone calls. I'll finally get to meet her in person soon at a church convention and I am not sure how to approach the situation. I really like her and I want to get to know her on a higher level. I know we haven't met in person yet so it may be a little premature but I want to let her know that my intention to meeting her is to see if there is mutual interest. I tried testing the waters by messaging her that I was looking forward to finally meeting her and she replied by saying that she's looking forward to seeing…

That feeling is the worst. Stomach is in knots, emotions all over the place, irrational thoughts. So much over analyzing, questioning, and shear mental anguish. Long story short, dated a girl for 2.5yrs. Two of those years we lived together. 6 months ago she got a job offer she couldn't refuse, so she moved 1,000 miles away. We agreed it was a necessary sacrifice for greater things. At the time our love was strong, deep, and connected. Over time, apparently the love has faded, especially for her towards me I now know. Things didn't seem right for the month of May, she felt a little disconnected at times, but was still calling daily, sending snaps, saying I love …

What do you do if your messages have been consistently seen zoned? I stopped sending message to this a certain guy and act chill even though he is ignoring me. I stopped for self-respect. I even uninstalled my Messenger. But honestly, it hurts inside. I have been crying only for this. Am I being childish ? I tried to keep myself per-occupied at work to move on but it really hurts. I don’t know why I feel fragile lately. Sorry, I really feel sad and I don’t feel opening up this to my friends and family. They are always busy. I want to move on. I believe that I have not done something wrong. Perhaps, it’s definitely better to distance myself from hi…

She's going camping with her friend and won't be back until next week. She came over earlier for half hour just to say goodbye etc... but I think I acted too needy and now I'm beating myself up. I told her I'd miss her and I didn't have much planned this weekend (probably came across I was sulking) even though we've only been dating 3-4 weeks now I'm so crazy about her, but it's so hard not to come across too full on. I also said I was going to the cinema next Wednesday but was willing to drop it if it meant seeing her a day earlier. She insisted I go to the cinema and we can see each other the day after. I don't want to push her away by seeming too needy and I even said …

Back story: Dear friend, female, who lives far away. She's in her 40s. Long time complicated relationship with food and has had BED -binge eating disorder -for last number of years. She is herself a therapist and she attends support groups, does her best. Husband, three kids under 10, mom lives with them but she is um a handful. One month ago husband was diagnosed with late stage cancer. He just started chemo, he will be needing surgery, I think. (Her Mom is helpful to supervise kids if they need to go somewhere especially now -chemo treatments require an hour trip each way, mobility services might not be available right now due to covid). She told me today…

So I'm 36 and I know this woman who is also 36. I first met her about 11 years ago and I was friends with her but not exactly close/best friend and not long. At the time she was best friends and later lived with this guy I was seeing that I was really in love with but he was just using me. I was seeing him on and off for a couple of years and friends with this woman R for the same amount of time back in 2010-2011. When I completely cut the guy off I actually also cut her off because she was his best friend and also lived with him and I really needed to move on from him. I found her a bit annoying at times but she did tell me that she has a learning disability. I didn…

Hello everyone, Here's my situation. I hope I can get some help from you. Also, general background, I tend to binge when I drink so you can assume for most of the following she or I or both of us are dealing with being at least somewhat intoxicated which I know is a big part of my problem for sure. I am a man, early 50s, divorced 10 years, 1 adult daughter She is a woman, early 50s, divorced 6 years, 1 teen son We met on a dating site around 5 years ago. At the time we had a couple of good dates, but I did not feel like I wanted more than friends at the time. This sounds really weird in retrospect, but it was a stupid, superficial reason now that I thi…

After 2 months of no contact with my abusive ex, he contacted me the day before taking his daughter on holiday, the holiday myself and my daughter were also meant to be going on to ask if i could watch his house and if me or my daughter needed b break, we were welcome to stay there. For months before we split, he was verbally, mentally, emotionally abusive and could sometimes be violent. I've had numerous calls which i didnt answer and texts i wouldn't reply too. He borrowed money which never repaid and was horrible to my daughter, after 6 years, i'd had enough. If i block him from my phone, he calls from no caller ID and as i am in therapy , my therapist calls from no ca…

Hello everyone, I am new to the forum but I thought I would try this community out and see if I can get some helpful advice. My now ex-girlfriend and I have dated for about 11 months and we recently broke up. It was a month-long heartbreaking journey and I feel like there are still loose ends to be resolved so I was wondering if this wonderful community can give me advice. Here is the background first: My GF and I have been dating since September of last year during her senior year in college. It was her last semester and she was to travel outside of the country for about 7 months after graduating before she was going to come back to the states to start her car…

I met this girl during this pandemic, we know each other for almost 1 year and this is my first relationship, we are both F and 19. To sum up things we've been talking every day for 5/6 hours a day and I can consider myself happy with her, she's great, I trust her, I feel comfortable with her (I have social anxiety and dont feel comfortable even w my friends), we care for each other, we have fun with each other, we try to help and make eachother a better person and we're both people who get tired of other people real fast, but this time this didnt happen, and I think we're pretty attached because If we dont talk for a day we really miss each other (yeah this is not health…

I have been in a 3 year relationship with my girlfriend who is Bipolar 1. Long story short, she had an episode about a month ago and things have not been the same since. I feel confused, heartbroken, sad, frustrated, helpless...the list goes on. I've had difficulty in my past letting go even though I know it's the right thing to do. I believe this is because I have felt anxiety in my past after break ups. I think it's the thought of facing my fears, one of which is being alone. It's strange because even though I enjoy doing things by myself, the thought of not having a significant other really scares me and makes me feel anxious. I've been in relationships pretty much …

Well I have stopped drinking for a while after failing at moderation. I admit it sucks and i am really struggling right now. Was trying to persuade my husband to let me try moderating again and also trying to persuade myself 'it will be different this time'. I am getting help but feel sometimes it is not enough. I have a lovely daughter and husband so why risk it all just for a bottle? I try to tell myself i am not experiencing psychological cravings but know I am. I do not have any physical ones I just pray this gets easier. Even with help it is a struggle 😞

This is a difficult topic to discuss, because my brain gets all twisted up when I think about it. It's basically the relationship between my mom, my sister, and me. My mom has positioned herself as a middleman between my sister and me. My sister is happy this way, my mom is happy this way, I am not happy this way. I've tried to circumvent it in the past, but have never been successful. My sister and my mom have (what I believe to be) a very codependent relationship with each other. I think it's a natural dynamic for their personality types. They are both naturally manipulative people. They actually conspire together to control situations, and they can do it almost w…

I joined this forum in April 2011 when my wife requested separation and it ended up with her coming back and forth over the best part of a year. She would come back home and say everything was OK and we would go about trying to fix the hurt, then at a moments notice I would come home and she would be gone. It happened repeatedly and it was nothing less than pure psychological trauma. I haven't been on this forum since we got back together, which is bad on my part, but I didn't want to upset the apple-cart if she found out I was here and I happened to have a very nasty vertigo attack which has led to me having permanent neurological trauma - so, I'm permanently dizz…