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  1. Ill start off by saying that my boyfriend and i are temporarily in a long distance relationship, and that this will continue for about another 3 months. This morning I upset my boyfriend, and he has been really mad at me all day, as he says this is a pattern and he is being upset with my regularly. This morning I overreacted to him forgetting to tell me that his old fwb sent him nudes, and basically I got upset and snapped at him for all of the times he has forgotten to tell me information. It's not to say he never tells me, he just never remembers in the moment and mentions it a few hours to days later. Other times include not telling me for over an hour that his best friend made a move on him, or not mentioning until the next day that he had planned to meet a guy who had a crush on him. The thing is, I get annoyed that he doesn't tell me straight away, but in the end he always tells me. I feel like I overreacted (because I 100% trust that he won't cheat or anything, I just don't like the lack of communication), and as a result I upset him. He is upset because he says that I get upset too easily and ruin his day basically everyday. So please, if anyone has any advice on how to let the little things go, or any coping mechanisms that I can use to learn to avoid overreacting or becoming too emotional. please let me know. Thank you all
  2. The sound of a dish shattering on the floor brings all the happiness in the room to a sudden halt. Your eyes connect with your partner's for just a second and yet, it's enough. You've been here before - you both know that nothing good can come of this fight. Conflict is an unavoidable part of any relationship. Differences in viewpoints, interests, and goals can be hard to reconcile, especially when there are strong feelings of hurt and betrayal involved. The good news is that fights don't have to dominate dating, marriages, or any other type of relationship. It takes dedication and care to learn how to combat conflict and resolve issues without letting hurtful words, stress, or resentment seep into the situation. To get started on the path towards harmonious relationships and open communication, it's important to take a close look at yourself and your partner. What draws you two together? What makes you unique as individuals? Looking closely at your similarities and differences as individuals can help you and your partner find new ways to handle conflicts as they arise. One key factor in resolving conflicts is understanding the idea of “active listening” - fully being present in the conversation and allowing both parties to express their views honestly and openly. This can sound easy on paper yet be very difficult in real life. To give active listening a try, one person should speak for no more than one minute at a time, uninterrupted, and then the other should repeat what they heard to ensure that everyone is on the same page. After taking turns, discuss what you have co-created, showing respect and empathy to each other. Another thing to keep in mind is that effective communication isn’t just about arguing until you arrive at an agreement. It requires trying to put yourself in the shoes of the other person, in order to better understand where they’re coming from. Even if you can’t agree on something, understanding your partner's position and where they're coming from can be beneficial on its own. Of course, it’s also necessary to work on managing emotions in the heat of the moment. We all have had moments of saying something we regret or getting too defensive or angry. It’s not wrong to feel those things, but it does help to be mindful about them and being in control. Take deep breaths and remind yourself that this is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship rather than tear it down. Agree to take a “time out” if necessary and talk things through later when you have calmed down. Finally, remember that many of our fights have deeper underlying causes such as jealousy, insecurity, or fear of abandonment. It’s important to acknowledge these fears and learn to cope with them in constructive ways. It’s ok to ask for help from a qualified therapist, friend, or family member who can provide objective insight and guide you both towards finding a resolution. Conflicts do not have to lead to the end of any relationship. In fact, they can be a catalyst for stronger bonds and understanding if handled correctly. Through active listening and compassionate understanding, compromise and mutual respect can shine through and bring you closer together.
  3. As if I didn’t already have enough to worry about with five kids all under the age of ten, I had been hoping, praying, and planning for my mother-in-law to move in. My husband, who often worked long hours, travelled a lot for work, and who, frankly, was often more focused on his career than his family, really pushed for my mother-in-law to come live with us. He thought it would help ease my burden of managing our chaotic household. I didn’t agree at first. After all, I had always managed just fine on my own even when my beloved father passed away unexpectedly. I had managed to survive my husband’s absence while he worked abroad and held down the fort four times during the darkest winters of all. So why did I need my mother-in-law living with us now? “We will pass the time more quickly together talking about life rather than alone counting all of the dishes in the sink every day!” My husband insisted as he logged another late night from the office. I could feel in my bones that he was right but I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge it - plus, I wasn’t ready to give up my hard-fought independence. Fast forward a few months and the idea of having my mother-in-law living with us became more appealing. My husband had been helping reorganize our spare bedroom so it was ready for her and I could feel the anticipation building up inside. We discussed how introducing another adult into the home could give us healthier family dynamics and allow us to focus on things we both needed: rest, relaxation and connection. On the day of her arrival, things were stable, peaceful and a bit exciting. The kids, blissfully unaware of the potentials of our new normal, were counting down the minutes until their “new aunt” would arrive. However, the first week of her presence was filled with an unexpected undercurrent. My mother-in-law brought a different energy to our home and the kids noticed it too. We had little fights over silly things that seemed like lighthearted teasing at first, such as who should carry the last bag of groceries in from the car. However, with each passing day, the glibness eroded away. My mother-in-law began wanting to take charge of the decisions in the house and that created tension between us. The truth was nobody knew what kind of changes to make in the house and nobody was willing to budge. It was like a seesaw – whenever somebody moved one way the other followed suit without thinking twice. There was no proper communication happening and each of us ended up with the same opinion, which caused all sorts of disputes. My husband and I had to make an effort to remind ourselves that this was supposed to create unity, not hostility. We needed to take a breath and remember that we were trying to bring a fresh element of our family back together and build a happy home. That’s when we decided to take little steps towards making this transition smoother and more meaningful. We started to plan regular family outings, tasked the kids with intentional efforts to make my mother-in-law feel at home and engaged her in a variety of activities. This was a great move because it helped us talk through situations without arguing and even opened up conversations around solutions to some of the difficult issues that had recently risen between us. The surprise turned out to be the resentment we felt towards our mother-in-law has somewhat faded away and we have become a closer knit family than ever before. We recognize that having her with us can provide valuable insight, support, and emotional security, something that neither of us had ever expected. The fighting has not gone away entirely but, in hindsight, it has been a good kind of fighting. It’s the kind of thing that strengthens relationships and brings a multifaceted perspective to the table that can help us appreciate and contemplate multiple solutions. It has created an environment of challenge and respect where our family can grow through a variety of meaningful interactions and gained perspective. At its core, welcoming my mother-in-law to our home has taught us how to remain flexible and open-minded to negotiation and cooperation - even in moments of stress and uncertainty.
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