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I'm a 30 year old single mother. I've been single for 16 months now. I miss being in a relationship, it gets so lonely. I yearn to be loved and caressed but I can't seem to meet a man willing to commit to me because I'm a mother. It hurts how men look past me because I'm a mum, all they want is to have sex with me but not commit. I met a man last December and we really hit it off from the get go, he tells me he likes me but won't commit. The sex is mind blowing and even though I know it's not going anywhere I can't help but go back because of sex.

My sister set me up with her friend, and we've been texting and talking on the phone for over 2 months now. Our conversations have been really good and entertaining. However, during these 2 months, we haven't met yet, although she has hinted that she wants us to meet. Recently, about a week ago, I started noticing a change in her behavior. She doesn't reply as quickly as she used to, her messages are getting shorter, and we don't text or talk on the phone as much as we used to. It seems like she's losing interest. I asked her if something is wrong or if there's something bothering her, but she said no. So, I suggested that maybe we should meet since we've been texting and talking on the phone for months, but she said she's not ready yet. This made me believe that she lost interest. So, I confronted her about it because I don't want to waste my time. I told her that I noticed she seemed a little distant recently, but she denied it. I let it go. Now, after that confrontation, she's starting to act like she used to—texting me often, cracking jokes, and being sweet again. However, I can't help but feel that she's only doing it now because I talked to her about it, and it doesn't feel genuine. What do you think? Is she losing interest, or am I just overthinking things?

Hello friends, I've been dating a girl from work that's on other department since late november 2013. We mostly go out on the weekends, although recently we go out once in the middle of the week of I stay at her place for one day. First I thought she was shy and inexperienced, so she was taking things slow and the physical part of the interaction was going the same, which I had no trouble with. The time we spend has always been funny, comfortable and interesting, with good communication. Since february the relationship has escalated both in communication and physically, but now there has been various things that make me feel uncertain of how this is going and about her, in the sense that she seems to be in conflict with her emotions and is unsure too. I'll try to list what's the situation, for better context. She knew since the start that my intentions were good and to get to know her, as I've expressed it before and she thanked me for my patience, which I replied that it's not patience but genuine interest about her. She finished an 8 year relationship in early 2023, which ended in a toxic way. And wasn't looking for anything, but when she met me she thought "why not" and found a person very different from the guys she has dated before, a gentle and good person. Because of this, she finds hard to commit again, as it's difficult for her to open to give her time and "heart" to other person, so she feels like she is in a process and was focusing on herself instead. I told her that I would like to continue to get to know her and really want to fall in love, she agreed to continue to date and let things develop. During early february we had another two talks that ended with me kissing her for the first time and on the second one making out with her. Those two talks touched some topics that are important to, and also got me to think a lot, given that I'm thankful for her to be sincere but also hurt me and don't completely understand how it fits into letting things flow. First she mentioned that sex is very important for her in a relationship, and that she enjoys it a lot, so she has been having casual sex with certain people, friends with benefits, basically people that she doesnt consider anything else besides that. Also told me she couldn't feel secure about our relationship without having the physical part, as she would really like to fall in love and commit again, but needed more assertiveness and initiative from me. So that's when we kissed for the first time and make out, she was very gentle and sweet as she guided me, for context I'm very inexperienced, and she seems to have more experience. We have continue to date afterwards and continued with the physicality. Lately we had our first sexual encounter, and she was still sweet and communicative. I touched the topic again of our relationship, and she seems to be on the same tone of still dating. I don't really know about the fwb thing, but because of some event I learned that she keeps communication with possibly 2 of those people, although Idk if it's only a friendship. Her treatment towards me lately is now more in tone of a couple, in the sense of going for kiss and hugs while together, in a more tender way, and also keeping the good interaction we had since the beginning, basically common interests, work, family, personal topics. I'm thinking of staying in this relationship more time to let her feelings heal and the relationship to develop further, while keeping the communication. So far I think there is genuine care and respect from both. I think I've included the more I could and remember so far, but feel free to ask any question. I'm looking for some insight and advice if possible, as I've never been in a situation like this. Thanks!

Please advice, I believe I'm in a situationship with this fabulous man but the thing is, I'm a single mother and he doesn't have any, he likes me and expressed this multiple times but his also distant and he opened up and told me that the reason is because theres so much that comes with being in a relationship with me and the level of commitment therefore he has reservations about us... I have fallen for him but I emphasize with him

My son's father and I ended our relationship over two years ago. We were never married but lived together. He ended our relationship, and for financial reasons and for the well-being of our 8-year-old son, I asked him to stay in the house. He agreed but moved to another room. He told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and that we wouldn't get back together. I didn't take it seriously, and we drifted apart completely. Nothing happened between us since then, but I must admit I was certain he would come back to me. I was waiting for him to take the initiative, but he never did, and so much time passed. A couple of months ago, he informed me he was moving out, and after a few weeks, he left the house. I suspected it was because of another woman, and yesterday he confirmed it. I feel very betrayed, and I'm not sure if it's okay to feel this way. I feel like he had no right to leave out of nowhere and especially for someone else, when it was obvious I still had feelings for him, and that's why I distanced myself. He says I never told him how I felt and that I just ignored him, so he couldn't assume I still felt something, but it was obvious. Why do I feel this way? Am I overreacting? Is he in the wrong?

Girl for bought a month now 35F /35M. dated as kids and just hooked up. I didnt want a relationship, but it happened. She didnt call one night when she said she would, She was supposed to call after a show but didnt until over 24 hours later. 12 am the next night. She gave an apology and excuse through a text. She initiates text and then wont respond for 24 hours when i answer, until 12 the next night.. So i went offline on messenger and and ignore her text and calls. i started backing up.. I never engaged her first. This was exactly what i didnt want but she kept pressing it. Should i get out now or stop being so sensitive?

I need some advice on how I can talk to my partner about the concept of the “mental load”. We have lived together for a few years now, don’t have any kids or plans to get married soon, are still in college, and split finances evenly. Despite all of this, I still find myself taking on the majority for what would be considered the “mental load”. For example, I do the grocery planning, grocery shopping, tracking supplies/ingredients, meal prep/plating, meal cleanup, dishes, sweeping, cleaning the fridge, remembering to pay all of the bills, splitting expenses and keeping track of them, driving, gas, washing towels/bed sheets, shopping for the pets and keeping track of what they are out of, etc. While he does some chores around the house I still do the majority of them and still have to be responsible for the mental work that goes into those tasks. When I last tried to bring this up he said that all I have to do is just ask … or if I ask him to pick out dinner he will say “well what do we have”. Lastly, I got frustrated today because I asked him to put away the groceries that I had just shopped for on my own and he kept asking me where everything should go because to him “I already knew” and it would be easier for me to tell him rather then for him to figure it out. I know some will argue that I should just stop doing those things but I would like to try communicating with him about this before I jump to doing that. Most articles I can find are geared towards mothers or married couples so I was hoping for some advice or resources that apply more for couples who live together. Thanks

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We started dating when I was in medical school. I was forced to move to a really small town in the middle of nowhere 6 months into our relationship and my boyfriend followed me. He left his job and told me that he left it because it was a toxic work environment, not just because I had to move. That year, it was difficult for him to find a job in the middle of nowhere. The following year I had the choice to live somewhere else, I gave him the option to either live in NYC (my hometown) or his hometown, he chose NYC because there were more job opportunities for his career, and he was hoping I might match into residency there after graduating medical school. We lived there for a year and things were good, then I matched into residency in the middle of nowhere place again, this time being forced to stay there for 4 years. Now that I’m in the middle of nowhere, he tells me he sacrificed so much for me whenever we fight and that I don’t show appreciation for it. He says because I chose to live in NYC during that one year, he spent all of his life savings there just to be with me. In this middle of nowhere town, he tells me several times a week when I come home from work (I’m a resident intern – busy schedule), how miserable and unhappy he is living here, having no friends, no job, nothing to do. I encourage him to apply for jobs but he says that he isn’t willing to go backwards in life and work demeaning jobs that would hurt his mental health (blue collar work or retail-which is most of the jobs in the middle of nowhere town). He has been very depressed. As a resident intern, I have a modest salary, and I spend every dime of it on us, I pay for 100% of the bills (groceries, rent, utilities, outings, activities) and we have been here for about 8 months now. I even got a house with a yard (for his dog), the house has an entire office for him to be comfortable in to work from home/job search while I’m at work. If I was alone, I would’ve gotten an apartment because it’s cheaper and I have significant education loans to pay off. He says often that I need to show more passion/love in our relationship to show appreciation for all the sacrifices he has made to follow me around the country. But I think I’m showing passion by being supportive of him and providing for him, we also go on a lot of dates. On a side note, this also frustrates me at times as well because he's always wanting to go out (multiple times per week) for dinners/bars/activities, which I feel is partially because he is not fulfilled right now. I enjoy it, but sometimes it feels like a lot, I don't get how that is not showing passion? He says that paying for things isn’t passion, it’s to help him get back on his feet until he can find an actual job. But I’m offended he’s not willing to take blue collar work to just help out a little bit, even a few hundred dollars would help. I got him a job interview at the place I work but they only wanted a full time employee, and he wasn’t willing to work full time. He wanted a part time gig so he could work on his true career passion on the side, so he wasn't hired. This really frustrates me. Note: he does do a lot for me, passion-wise, I guess compared to me. He doesn’t work though and has more time than I do. He plans fun things to do, cleans the house, often will cook dinner a few times a week, tells me how beautiful I am and gives me lots of affection, attention, love. I could do more, but sometimes it feels like I’m not feeling passionate after working many hours in a week (often 60+). I don’t know what to do, I feel lost, who is even in the wrong here, it feels so complicated and I just feel this bitterness growing in me for some reason and I don’t know why I would feel this way about someone I love so much.

Hi, I was wondering what people’s thoughts were on below:- I was seeing a girl for a couple of months, nothing serious and didn’t get to anything sexual. One day abruptly she said she wouldn’t be able to contact me anymore as her partner had found some messages between us. Firstly, I was taken aback as there was no inkling she was in a relationship. Her partner got my number and asked what had been going off. Having explained to him that I didn’t know she was in a relationship already otherwise I wouldn’t have started seeing her and that was wouldn’t contact her again now I know, he was alright about things and it was amicable at our last conversation. Heard nothing until today - 9 months later (no not that) when she messaged out of the blue asking if we could chat and put things right/explain the situation. She said she understood if I didn’t want to discuss, but also didn’t want me to tell her partner that she had messaged me (I wouldn’t go running to him). I said I wasn’t mad or one to hold a grudge and wanted to leave things in the past. I left it at this saying I was moving on. Just thought it was strange to get in touch so long after what had happened. Just wondered what people’s thoughts were as to why it has taken 9 months for her to want to explain things.

I blew my dating with a girl I really liked due to my anxiety problems So context, I am 19M , I had been chasing someone for a while. I was genuinely very interested in them as initially I had a great spark with them. Days passed and we became friends I lost hope and gave up for it was also affecting me now mentally. Out of nowhere she asked me out and we started dating. Reason was that she felt she was opening up to someone in years. Yet she told me I wasn't her type. I was also the first guy she dated in college. We went on a date. Kissed on the 4th day. But then things changed. I started overthinking and getting anxious. I had a fear of screwing this up. The anxiety was so intense I couldn't properly connect with her and I binned a date on our 3rd week. We met once then and the same anxiety *** happened due to which I couldn't communicate this problem. I decided to tell her the next day but she dumped me in the night. Since breakup I was very distracted and disturbed. She said she doesn't wanna be friends now and doesn't wanna see me. I anyway told her about anxiety thing and how it was affecting my behavior. It's been a month and we are gonna meet, what do I do? Do I tell her all this? Do I try to get her back or try to be friends or break contact absolutely ?

So I have been planning my sister’s gender reveal for about 2 weeks now. I just found out the gender a few days ago and i’m the only one that knows. This is her first kid and it’s a really special moment for everyone. My boyfriend has been upset since the moment i told him she was pregnant because he wants a kid and mad that I don’t want one right now. So I never even brought up the gender reveal or anything bc I just didn’t want to deal with it. So now he’s telling me he got us movie tickets for the same exact day/time as her gender reveal. And he’s extremely upset because I won’t miss it. I have told him how important this is to me but he just doesn’t care. I told him he could easily just switch the tickets for another day even literally the next day. But he won’t do it. We are having a huge argument over it he’s saying i am choosing her over him etc. Am i in the wrong here?? I really don’t understand why he can’t just change them since the gender reveal can’t be changed. This is like going to end our relationship he will not listen to me. Any advice helps please and thank you.

Hello. I am writing here as I, honestly, do not know who else to turn to. I believe my boyfriend had feelings for his ex while we were in a relationship, and there are some pretty telling messages... Me and my boyfriend met in 2019, and have been together ever since and, honestly, our relationship has been a mess and I am only now coming to terms with all the boundaries that I let be broken without doing something at the time. Now I feel like I am completely stuck. I love him, and leaving him seems like the hardest thing on earth to do. I just need to hear peoples opnions on this, as I feel like I am going crazy. We met in 2019 while working together, and after knowing each other for 2 weeks, we slept together. Problem was: we were both seeing other people at the time. Not in a relationship, but romantically seeing other people. Before we even kissed, I sat down with him and asked him about the girl he was seeing and if he was sure he wanted to get involved with me and what he would do, to which he replied that "things with her were not going anywhere". I also told him about the guy that I was seeing. After he told me that things with her were not going anywhere, we got involved, as I took that as a way of him saying that he won´t see her anymore. After that, we spent 2 weeks working together and were envolved during that time, and after that I had to go back to my home country, I told him he should come and visit me sometime, to which he replied he would love to. But, a few weeks after that he messaged me saying he was going to spend two weeks with the girl he had been before. ( She had invited him a while back to go and see her at the end of summer, she invited him in May of 2019, and me and him met in July 2019). I am honestly not sure what I though at the time, but I think I just thought we were going to continue living our lives and seeing other people. They slept together on the first night he arrived. He says it was a mistake and that he got too drunk, and that he didn´t know how things would go with me. That he was terrified that I would reject him if he told me how he really felt about me, and he was also scared that I was still seeing the guy I told him about when we met. He said that on the second day, when he woke up, he regreted what had happened and that the same day he told her about me that he had gotten involved with me and that he liked me and wanted to see how things would go. He says that the rest of those two weeks they were there as friends, so he basically broke up whatever it is that he had with her. Fasting forward, I always knew they were still in communication, as they remained friends like he said. However, I have found out recently, that in 2020 he sent her a book with a letter. That book costs around 100 euros...So I snapped and asked him to show me the messages from 2019 with her. She sent him a message thanking him for the gitf saying "it was the best thing she received in her life, that he is the only man who has touched her heart, that she has missed him so much from her days, how his presence just makes her days better and how he completely knows her heart" to which he replied that she knows his heart too, and very few people do, that she understands him and very few people do and that she could say more to him with one look than one hour conversation with a lot of people. Also in 2020, he said to her "would be great to speak again soon, I do miss your voice". And this is not all, I guess at some points in the beggining of our relationship I felt insecure with him having a friendship with her so at some point in 2021, he mentioned her a few times and I freaked out and asked why and if he had any feelings, to which he replied he didnt. A few weeks after this, he told me he loved me for the first time when we got drunk at a party and he said that "there was still some attraction there for her". I confronted him the next day and he says that is not what he meant, that he meant attracton has in attracted to her as a person, as a friend. So I have been quite traumatised about their relationship since this one specific incited, ans this has led to me asking to see the messages. I know this is a super weird timeline, and probably a confusing story to understand. My biggest fear is that he had feelings for this person while he was in a relationship with me. I am absolutely shocked with these messages, I never thought they communicated in this way and I honestly dont know how to go on. I think I also have developed or have flared my OCD and I have repetitive, intrusive, constant thoughts about this every day. My menatl health is declining to a low point that I have never experienced in my life. I honestly just feel so stupid, I feel like I should have not even gave him a chance the moment after he met me and decided to go see her for two week, that I should have left him when he said that there was still some attraction there for her. I have undermined my feelings, I thoiught that I was beeing crazy, I thought why would he be with me if he still had feelings for her? But now after reading these messages? They seem romantic to me. It does not seem like what friends would text to each other. We have been talking about this for months now, especially since I found out about the book and the value of the book. I honestly do not know what to do. He swears on my life, he continues saying that he did not have feelings for her, that he went to see her those two weeks with the intention of breaking things of with her because he wanted to be with me. But I just keep having this feeling that he had unresolved romantic feelings for her, as it is the only way I can explain these messages between them, it is the only way I can explain that he would go out of his way to send her a meaningful, expensive book, with a letter. While at the same time, he did not sens me anything at that time. He says that for a long time in our relationship he was extremely insecure that I would leave him, that that is why he also took a long time to tell mehe loved me and that m,ight also be the reason he would focus on friends more. But i just dont believe it. Who is in love with someone and decides to send an expensive gift to an ex? I feel like during our relationship I overlooked things because I truly loved him, but now I just feel like I deserve something better. I know he truly loves me, that is not even a question, but I doubt his feelings in the beggining of our relationship, I doubt what his intentions were with me.

Me and my boyfriend (2 years) have always had very deep conversations ever since the beginning of our relationship about many things, such as moral beliefs, philosophies on how the world works, childhood traumas, etc. But recently, it feels like he doesn't understand me/try to understand my perspective when we have those types of conversations. Specifically when I am talking about my frustration at my upbringing since I think my parents definitely gave me some toxic behaviors that I am struggling to unlearn in my adult life, he just seems to not care/not understand, immediately talking back about how that wasn't his experience with it (which almost makes me feel like he thinks I'm making it up or being dramatic). On many complex issues in the past, even when we had conflicting viewpoints, he listened and understood what I was saying, even if it wasn't something he agreed with. But with this issue, and some other important ones, including my fear/hesitancy around having kids, he just seems unable to comprehend why I feel the way I do. It is very frustrating to me and it makes me feel unloved and insecure in our relationship. Is there any way that I can try to get him to understand me on this, or does this mean we are incompatible on a deeper level? Am I just overthinking this? Please advise.

Long story short, I was with my first love for 3 years before we broke up nearly 10 years ago. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out. I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017. At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her. At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few weeks ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. As for me I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people. So 3 weeks ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and today I posted a life quote on my story which she liked but I haven't spoke to her yet. I liked one of her posts a few days ago. I'm tempted to send her a message but not sure if she'll respond or how she'd react, I was hoping she'd message me first but don't think she will and I want to tread very carefully with her as I don't really know where her mind is given what she's been through. I know I may be overthinking it but any advice would be appreciated, thanks

Long story short, I was with my first love for 3 years before we broke up nearly 10 years ago. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out. I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017. At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her. At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few weeks ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. As for me I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people. So 2 weeks ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's hasn't liked any of my posts but she has been viewing my stories, I haven't spoke to her yet. I liked one of her posts yesterday. I'm tempted to send her a message but not sure if she'll respond or how she'd react, I was hoping she'd message me first but don't think she will. I know I may be overthinking it but any advice would be appreciated, thanks

Am I looking into this too deeply or are my feelings valid? ( please be brutally honest) A couple of months ago me and my then boyfriend found out I was pregnant. I desperately wanted to keep it, however he said he’d leave me and have nothing to do with the child if I did.. so I made the decision to get an abortion. A few weeks after the abortion him and I broke up. He started talking to other women soon after, while still sleeping with me from time to time. While sleeping round his, one night I went through his phone. I found out he was talking to a pregnant women he met online. She was showing him pictures of her ultrasound and potential names she was going to call her child (amongst arranging to meet up and sexually explicit conversations) This crushed me, because not even a month ago he told me if I didn’t get an abortion he’d leave me.. but here he is talking to a women who gets to keep hers. He could of picked any other women to have a one night stand with.. but he picked a pregnant women after everything that had just happened. I confronted him about this and he couldn’t see why I was upset. He said there was no link between these two things and I was just traumatised. He said he’d understand my pain if he was trying to be the child’s father, but in his words ‘ she was just a distraction’ and only wanted to sleep with her, nothing more. Am I overthinking this? Is it stupid of me to be linking the two things together?

Hey so I (27M) been seeing this girl (25F) for roughly 3 weeks. We met over christmas break on hinge and i was gone for a month so we talked a bit and i was surprised she actually waited for me to get back. We finally met on January 5th and things went pretty well. We have went on 4 more “dates” since then. I say that because some of them weren’t formal but rather hanging out, gym together, etc. but 3 Real dates we have beeen on. The interaction between us is odd. I am a very upbeat, extroverted dude and she told me when we met and idk how it came up but that she is not too “open” and that she likes to be a listener. which idk what that even means. During our text conversations , she is very sometimes dry, and she often changes subjects so quick. We will be talking about something and she will respond with something totally different which puts me in an awkward position because half the things she says , i don’t even know how to respond. So, texting is spotty, sometimes awkward ,etc. I also noticed when we were hanging out , she was on her phone a lot of the time which irritated me. The main thing i’m hear to ask is that, should i keep this girl around? I am always the one initiating conversation, always keeping it going and sometimes she seems so shy , when i know when she’s with her friends she’s very talkative at times. Today i didn’t text her at all to see if she would actually put in the effort to talk, and she didn’t text me all day at all except at 7pm that said “Hope you’re okay today!”….I mean am i crazy or is that a wierd thing to say to someone you are “going out with”, as well as waiting all day to even say anything, and that be your first text???? Idk i need some of yall to shed some light for me because it’s odd. I’m tempted to ask what she is loooing for out of this, or what is her communicative preference ,etc because i’m a.very straight forward mature man and i don’t play games , but it’s so hard to read her and she confuses me every other day. so yall let me know please 🙏

I met my boyfriend on tinder in October 2021. We spent a year talking over text just as friends and only hung out a couple of times. He is a very isolated person and was very averse to relationships. In October 2022 he invited me out to the bar as I had just recently turned 21. He invited me back to his apartment and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. Nothing has ever been as perfect as we are. He seemed so aloof when we talked as just friends, but he was the most caring and sweet person once we got together. He told me he had never been so happy before and that I taught him about love and changed the way he sees himself and the world. I have never clicked with someone like I have him. We were so happy and even if we had a disagreement, he always remained calm and encouraged me to talk about how I was feeling. He was always interested in my hobbies, he encouraged me to go back to school, and was my number one supporter. We had so much fun together, when we were together everything in the world felt okay. We were best friends. I know he truly truly loves me and he would have done anything for me. He was so loyal. He has very strict rules about respect in a relationship. He took it very seriously. We went on a three day trip for my birthday this year and everything went great. We almost always get along. We share the exact same taste in music and media. We have the same views on not wanting children, religion, and politics. Everyone around us revered us for how perfect we were together. I remember one of my friends saying that is we ever broke up she wouldn't believe in love anymore. He never pressured me to do anything I don't want and treated me the best anyone could. He never did anything wrong. We had a designated day once a week that we spent together. He needs a lot of alone time and while that bothered me some, I learned to adapt to that and I respected it. If there was a special event on the weekend we would go together, it wasn't always just once a week. We texted all day every day and never got tired of each other. He wrote songs for me and performed them at our local venues and always mentioned me. He was never embarrassed of me. He brought me around his friends and his mom and they all loved me. His mother told me she had never seen him so happy before. I could not have asked for a better man. We are both artists and we would make things for each other and he truly treasured them. The only thing was that he would very rarely open up to me about anything and even if he did talk about his past it was in a very matter of fact way. He just said what happened but never how he felt about it. The only times he would express real feeling was the love he had for me or his cat or if someone at work had upset him. He has this mindset that if you can't change something, you shouldn't let it bother you and you should just move on. He is very independent and from everything I had seen he was very put together. Nothing ever truly bothered him deeply. He did share with me that he has bipolar disorder and had self harmed and been in a psychiatric facility during his teenage years. He never let on like these things truly bothered him anymore and that he had somehow found a way to deal with it. On occasion he would have a few days or so that he would feel "weird" and that he wanted to be alone for. I respected this and tried to understand what he was feeling but all he ever said was that he felt down or blue or just plain weird with no reasoning. I could understand that, I get that too. He was always interested in hearing about my feelings and tried to help me through them. I just didn't feel like we every talked about real serious things when it came to him. The beginning of December after celebrating our one year anniversary in October I brought this up to him. I told him that it felt shallow and superficial. He agreed and he told me that there just seems to be some wall between him and everyone and that he feels "far away" from people. He said that he knows he loves me but wasn't sure if he was enough for him. I was certain that we could work it out thought and after having an in person talk things felt better. Now, this week after having our weekly hang out I had gotten upset about him telling me that on occasion he looks at porn on reddit to jerk off to. This made me feel very insecure and I called him on the phone later after leaving his house to try and talk it out. Admittedly, I got a little heated and expressed how much this hurt me. He started to sound different and was just saying over and over "I don't know what to do" and that this was too much for him. I could hear how freaked out he was in his voice. I suggested I come over so that we could hug and we could talk in person as that always seems to help things. I was nervous on my way over, but I never expected what would happen. As soon as I sat down he told me this wasn't working for him. He said it wasn't right anymore. He told me it wasn't about the porn and that he understood my feelings about that and that it wasn't respectful for him to do. I think that my emotional outburst finally was too much for him. He told me things just hadn't felt right since I brought up the relationship feeling shallow. He said that it was true and that he had been trying, but he just can't fully connect with me. He again brought up the idea of there being a wall between him and everyone else, even his mom. He said that I feel "a million miles away" although I am his best friend and that he loves me more than anyone in the world. he said that he has never been as close to someone as he has to me, but he feels like he has a part missing or is a robot of some type because he just can't connect. I know his relationship with his father was very traumatic as a child and there were periods of time where he didn't speak to him for years. I can't help, but think this has something to do with the way he is. He told me its better if he's alone and that he needs to be alone and away from people. He then expressed that he expereienced suicidal ideation every single day and that he is very unhappy. This came as a complete shock to me as he never lets on like this and is always tlaking about how bessed he feels to have a great job, have great firneds, and a girlfriend he loves. I just feel that this is worth fighting for. What we have is special and he agreed with me on that. He told me I was the sweetest girl in the world and no one had ever made him feeli like me and that yes, he was happy when we were together, but not in a "substantial" way. I'm just not sure waht any of this means. I've been trying to do research on waht might be wrong with him, but nothing is like him. He isn't cold and mean. He is warm and kind and I just don't understand. I don't know how to go about this. This came out of the blue and I'm not sure how to go on. I know that we are meant to be together. He says that we are too, but he's just too weird. He says he tried so hard, but he never talked to me about htis. I feel that there is something worth fighting for here. What do I do now?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months going on 3. We’ve known each other since high school and recently reconnected. From then, everything has been going great. We talk everyday and see each other every chance we can. The last time I saw him was when we spent new years together. But lately, I’ve noticed he’s been pretty distant. He doesn’t call like he used to or seems like he doesn’t have any energy to see me in person and we live less than 10 minutes away from each other. The last time he talked on the phone, he seemed stressed out and said that his year isn’t starting off great. Before our talk, I mentioned that he doesn’t call like he used to and I noticed that when I send him cute pictures of me, he doesn’t compliment me. I know he’s been pretty stressed out with school lately, but I’m not sure if I am apart of him being stressed out (even though I don’t feel like I am?). His last text to me was to ‘have a good day’ and I said ‘you too’. It’s been two days since that text and now I’m worried. This is the longest we haven’t talked. I really want to give him space to figure his problems out on his own, but at the same time I want to show him that I care as well. He knows I’m always there for him because I told him a while back, but he also doesn’t like to ask for help and is hyper-independent. I am not sure how to go about this situation.

Last year in April I made a post about my boyfriend and our mutual friend's relationship ("Is My Anxiety Making Me Overthink?"). Since then we have talked about what happened and how I felt about the situation. He apologized and said he felt bad for making me feel that way. He explained that he viewed her as a sibling in need of help (since he is the oldest sibling to his brother) and took pity on her. He said he did not view their relationship as odd in any way and that the hugging and that type of affection is normal in his family. After the conversation, he asked if I cared if he told the friend about this and I said I didn't care either way but I had no plans of telling her myself. One night she ended up staying at his place for a while to talk and catch up, and he told her about the conversation we had. That night I got a text from her asking to talk the next day. We talked for a short while and she apologized for what happened that semester and admitted to their relationship being weird. She said she had no intention of doing anything with him and was l just leaning on him a lot due to being overwhelmed with college life (this was our freshman year). She apologized again and said she hoped that our relationship would not change because of this. I accepted the apology and that was the end of the conversation. Since then we have been communicating much better and more frequently, however, I'm still on the fence about my boyfriend's true feelings. He has a habit of mentioning her during intimate moments. For example, last night after we had sex he started laughing and said that he wondered if she ever did what I did in the bedroom since we're twins (we have a joke between her and me that we are twins since we have a lot in common and share some of the same experiences). This is not the first time he has done this, he's made comments about her while we were showering together and more. Each time I just laugh it off/respond jokingly and change the topic quickly. The comments are never anything necessarily weird, they just catch me off guard and make me wonder why he would mention or think about her at times like these. I don't want to cause problems or make problems where there aren't any by bringing it up again. Am I being insecure or sensitive? When we're all hanging out he doesn't give off the vibes of wanting to be with her and he said it himself that he never wanted her that way. He never said that he viewed their relationship as weird or anything, so maybe he sees this as normal. I genuinely don't know how to feel about it and I don't want to come off as possessive or overly insecure.

This is a really long post so please bear with me. I got out of a toxic relationship around 2 years ago and have been missing my ex a lot lately, I've also seen her with another guy which hurt for me to see. I see her around as we live close to each other, we first together 7 years ago but I broke it off as I found out she was engaged to someone else. During that time she got divorced and I stupidly took her back a few years later, she did admit to being in multiple relationships and talking to other guys since then. But I broke it off a year and a half ago We got close and had some nice moments but I kept noticing how open she is with other guys and how she'd claim that every other guy was interested in her, she kept pushing me for marriage and kept blaming me for moving too slow just because I didn't want to rush in to marriage. Everytime we'd argue about it, she would always say that it's my fault that things are moving slow and that she doesn't like being with someone who can't commit. She would always say how she wants someone who loves her more than she loves themselves, that's not normal right?? And She always used to say that she wanted me to open up to her and tell her how I feel and that I can talk to her about anything if I'm ever upset. So I did when I mentioned that I didn't like how open she is with other guys, she said that she didn't want to be with anyone that's insecure just like her ex husband was (even though she'd already cheated on her ex husband with me which was unknown to me at the time, so he had a reason to feel insecure). I don't get why she'd tell me to talk to her about anything then end up throwing it back in my face! I told her I'm not happy so we agreed to end it, I was confused at first cos she used to tell me that she misses me everyday and after that conversation she ended up blocking me off everything at the start which I thought was childish. After we broke up she messaged me on Christmas day saying: 'I just wanted to message you to say that I hope you’re okay and that I feel as though I’m ready to stay as friends with you if that’s what you wanted.. I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that we could stay as friends but I feel like I’m in a good place and I know everything has worked out for the best and I would be really happy to have you as a friend But if you don’t want to hear from me that’s okay too just let me know x' I did reply to her saying that I don't think it's a good idea and I wished her well. She just replied with a simple 'that's fine no worries x'. I'm trying to not think about her messaging me, but I feel like I was really getting in to the healing process and was really focused on other aspects of my life such as my career. I know I deserve better but I see her quite often as we live near one another and I can't help but still feel hurt and a part of me still misses her. We were quite sexually active together and i think thats whats making me miss her more. I do feel like I have enough anger for the way she treated me to be able to ignore her. I do still feel angry over the situation, not sure if that's normal or not. I have my own auto detailing business which I run on the side of my career and on the weekend, I have a social media page for it and I have set it as a public profile because it is only for business content and I never put anything personal on it. In the past when we'd argue, she'd always say that if we broke up it would be my loss. I sometimes feel sad as I'm alone and haven't dated anyone since her, I often see her around and feel as though I miss her but I know those feelings are only from loneliness so I have every intention of staying away from her. I've tried keeping myself distracted by focusing on my career and business, she has tried messaging me a couple months back by sending some charity chain messages although they could be her way of breadcrumbing? I always see her around as we live near one another, there were times where I used to try and get her attention because I missed her but now I just feel angry because I feel like I let her get away with a lot. I saw her around 6 months ago and she saw me too and she messaged straight after saying 'hope your good', i don't understand why would she do that I keep seeing her around and I know deep down I know I shouldn't let her get away with treating me do badly, I miss her and sometimes feel stuck. A couple of days ago I seen someone that looks like her with another guy but couldn't tell if it was actually her as it was from a distance, I don't know why I'm overthinking it but I think thats whats making me miss her more. I miss her but I know it's only because I have a trauma bond with her, I've only began to realise how much I let her get away with and it's making me angry to think that she seems as though she can go and live a normal life after treating me like that. She last randomly text me about 4 months saying 'Hi! Do you want your white cap back? It's just that it's in my wardrobe and I never wear it, you might actually get some wear out of it!'. She also messaged me 3 days after that to say 'Happy Eid, hope you had a amazing day'. (For context, eid is a religious holiday that both me and her celebrate). I found it odd that she'd message me twice in the same week but hasn't said anything after, we do usually see each other around but she's never messaged that often not even a birthday message or new years etc. My father and brother run a grocery store which she often visits, I don't go there often as I have my own job but I do sometimes see her when I'm there helping out. I also think she has blocked my number now but can't be too sure of that, she hasn't blocked me on social media although we don't follow each other. I saw her today at our store, she looked right at me. I feel like I still miss her. I don't know what to do.

So I met a girl through a friend of mine, who was her cousin. We have been talking for about a week now. She knows I'm interested in becoming something, but after a very long conversation today, I'm confused. She told me she likes to keep things natural, she says she likes to first be friends, then become close friends that know everything about each other, and then afterwards feelings may grow. My issue is I don't agree with that, because isn't going on a date how you find out if someone is compatible with you? Also becoming close friends could take years like 3+ She said she wants to get to know me as friends I just said okay Ill work on being a good friend. Also I told her I vape and that the only reason I would stop is if I get in a relationship and they ask me to stop, I do it out of respect. She then told me she wouldn't date someone who vapes so I said alright I'll stop vaping, because honestly it isn't the best thing for me health wise plus I want to be with her, and she's like don't change unless you really want that for yourself, to which i said i really want to change for myself. We are meeting Wednesday but she it made it clear it's not a date and just two friends hanging out. What should I do to earn her trust, become that "close friend" and hopefully become something later on, or should I just block her and forget about it?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for three years now, and we've encountered a couple of situations with one of her male friends whom she was close with in the past. I need to provide some background information first so that you can fully understand what is going on. She and I became good friends a few years before we pursued a romantic relationship. During the early stages of our friendship, she revealed to me that a long time ago, she had a crush on one of her close friends (I will refer to him as Jared in this post). It didn't bother me at the time, obviously because we were just friends. A couple of years later, right before she and I began our relationship, she started using Jared as a way to make me jealous. We had yet to admit our feelings for each other, and it became obvious that she was using Jared as a way to get my attention. For example, she would post about him all the time or bring him up in conversation more than she had in the past. After we began dating, I confronted her about it and let her know that I was unhappy with the way she used him to make me jealous. She apologized and agreed that it was unfair and immature, promising that nothing like that would ever happen again. (I also want to add that this was over three years ago, and we were obviously quite a bit younger than - I feel like she is definitely more emotionally mature now). As our relationship progressed, I decided to be cordial with Jared. All three of us had a group chat at one point where we would talk here and there, and we even added each other on social media. However, Jared became cold and distant towards my girlfriend, and I started to get the vibe that he was jealous and had feelings for her. When I brought this up to my girlfriend, she just played it off and gave another excuse for his behavior. However, everything came to a head when they got into an argument about it. I eventually got involved and asked Jared if he had feelings for my girlfriend. He got mad and deleted us both on social media. We haven't heard from him in close to two years. A couple of weeks ago, my girlfriend let me know that Jared had added her back on Facebook and wanted to talk to her. She asked me how I felt about it, and I told her I was uncomfortable, but that I wasn't going to stop her from speaking to him if that's what she wanted to do. Eventually, they talked, and she said they hashed everything out. She told me that he apologized about how he treated her and said that it had nothing to do with our relationship. She also told me that she gave him boundaries and let him know that he cannot disrespect me or our relationship again. This made me feel a bit better because I felt reassured that there would be strict boundaries between them, and I also let my girlfriend know that I wasn't interested in trying to be cordial with him again. This weekend, his Facebook page pops up, so I decide to go look at it. The first thing I see are a couple of selfies he posted, and my girlfriend had liked the post. One of the pictures was of him shirtless, and I immediately got upset and felt disrespected. I feel as if this is crossing a boundary, as I'm sure she would not appreciate me liking a picture of a half-naked friend if the roles were reversed in this scenario. She also knows that I've been feeling insecure lately because I've gained some weight, and her and I also don't have sex as much as we used to. I'm thinking that my insecurities are also adding to how I am feeling after seeing his Facebook page. I want to talk to her, but I don't know how to bring this up. I also don't want her to think that I am accusing her of something, but I do have trauma from my past relationships and I worry that she isn't being completely honest with me. Obviously, knowing that she once had feelings for him, as well as her using him to make me jealous in the past, adds to how I feel about the entire situation. Am I overreacting? How should I approach this conversation? I don't want to overstep and seem like I am controlling what she can do or who she can be friends with, but I am not sure how I should get over this whole situation. Any advice would be appreciated. TIA!

My friend introduced me to a guy friend of hers back in October. She told me he is very shy and takes time to open up. We texted for about a week and then he wanted to meet me. I wasn't available to do so but we met early the following week. We both seemed very comfortable, although a little nervous unstandably since it was the first date/meeting in person. He was definitely shy but opened up enough and could engage but sometimes could not make eye contact. We both laughed and smiled a lot and at one point he just looked at me with prolonged eye contact and smiled, I felt the chemistry and he teased me a few times. He paid even though I insisted we split, but he told me no. He texted me after that he had a great tike meeting and wanted to meet again sometime. He asked me out again a few days later and our second date took place that weekend. I felt really good after this date as well and we had a lot of fun, and he made me laugh. He did the same thing and looked me in the eyes and held it and smiled. I won't lie I felt in the moment of him more as a friend, but was attracted to his personality. The time just seemed to pass and I didn't hardly notice anyone else. He paid for this date as well and we stayed until closing. The next day I Thanked him for a good night, that I had a lot of fun and would like to meet again sometime. He told me he had a fun time too and we would plan something. He texted me the next day and we talked for a bit. Then I asked him out because I didn't want him to feel he was doing all the work planning. He agreed and everything seemed fine until that night. The date was kind of awkward. We went out for drinks after and he talked but seemed disconnected and used the restroom like 3 times over an hour. He would move around and was acting odd. I asked him if everything was ok because it seemed like he was bothered by something. He told me no, he just drank too much and was reserved. He laughed and told me he just doesn't know what to say and is a quiet person usually. I felt like I was doing all the conversation starters and I felt annoying. I asked him if he liked doing things with me and he nodded his head yes. I told him he was a nice guy and so different to guy I knew in the past. He seemed to mellow out some after we were there a while and was able to do more talking. I intiated kissing him when he dropped me off and it was a decent kiss. He wasn't expecting it but went in for it as well. We talked over text the next day and then the day after he told me he thinks he just wants to be my friend. He told me he thinks I am really nice and I didn't do anything wrong and it's something with him. My friend was mad at him and says he is scared. She is wanting to get us to hang out as a group with others because he said he would hang out with me if i was up for it. This hasn't happened yet and I really don't think it will. I told her I think he met someone else but she told me he has not. He has never been in a long term or serious relationship. He hasnt dated in 4 years. I'm just so annoyed because I really liked him as a person. I dont make friends very easily and he doesn't either. He has a very small group of people he told me. I just felt like we meshed but I dont know he meant wanting to be friends despite telling both me and my friend so.

Hey guys, so I am new here, because google isn't helping me solve this. But anyways I been dating this amazing guy for 5 months. We been going on dates every Saturday. Recently, he became distant a little, and felt he wasn't fair to me, even though I thought he was. And he's been going through issues outside of our relationship with his friend distancing himself from him, and with medical issues going on, as well as work stress, and I was the one that offered a break if he thinks that will help. Well he liked the idea, so we been taking a break. It's been 1 week break, and we agreed on no contact for 1 week and texting again saturday. Which is what we did. He did in fact text me saturday. Then he asked me if I would like to talk on the phone to catch up on stuff, so because of our schedules we just had the phone call now. To sum it up, he been working on himself, going to the gym and stuff, and he wanted to know how I was doing, and how I was feeling which I admitted that as good as I can be, which I mean that very upset about it but trying to be calm about it and what not by distracting myself with other stuff. And his friend issue is still a thing, so because I am on the autism spectrum I tried to reassure him or relate to that struggle because people on the spectrum like myself, struggle in the friend department big time. He seemed quiet about that too which I think I accidently upset him which wasn't my intentions. (yes I already apologized and explained), BEFORE the whole friend thing, he also admitted that apparently he's also trying to come to terms that this is the longest relationship he has had or at least in a while, and he explained how his ex was very controlling and what not which like I am not controlling at all, and he knows this, but he did say this during our talk. I was bold and asked him if there is a chance we will see each other this weekend but to my heartache, he said he is playing it by year about how he feels because he is still trying to work on himself or his stress and stuff. Of course he kept asking if I was fine, which like I am, but deep down I feel so much hurt that tears won't even come to the surface but I can feel it in my core especially because I miss him so freaking much and just feel very incomplete. Does anyone have any advice for this that will ease my worries or maybe even happen to you and if things worked out. Like how do things like this work out? I am so scared, and nervous. I really really like him. And can use helpful advice please. Sorry this was so long it was a lot.