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  1. Dear eNotAlone: I just graduated from college and can barely contain my excitement! After four hard years of studying, internships, and general stress-filled days and nights, I'm finally able to call myself an educated adult. However, I feel like now that I've done all of this work, I'm expected to just know what comes next and decide on my next big step. But I'm feeling more anxious than ever. What kind of career am I supposed to pursue? How do I decide which path is right for me? I feel completely lost and scared as I stare out into the unknown future. * * * You've worked hard and those long nights of cramming for exams and struggling through internship programs have come to an end. Congratulations! You've already accomplished a huge feat. If you're feeling a bit adrift, that's very normal and there are many actions you can take to help you make the best decision for you and your future. First, it's important to collect as much information about possible career paths as you can. Research job roles, read about career trends, and learn more about different industries. Reach out on social media or to trusted advisors in these sectors to get insight on what it's actually like to work in any given field. You may find that you're not cut out for a certain role or that a particular field might be the perfect fit. In addition, you may find insight into roles that you'd never previously considered. Second, consider what your interests are and which skills you may want to develop. Think about the qualities you've utilized in your previous job roles and which life events may have shaped your outlook. What do you value in a job, and what will make you truly passionate? There may be a safe option available to you, but if it doesn't get your heart racing and motivate you to excel, then it may not be the best path to take. Third, take time to reflect on what steps you've taken in the past and trust yourself going forward. You've faced making decisions before and can do so again. Drawing on the confidence you've gained during college, resign yourself to the idea that you're completely capable of making a great choice. Have faith in yourself and use the experience and knowledge you accumulated while in school to help guide your decision. You should also remember that life happens and there's no one-size- fits-all approach to finding a career path. If you pick a route and later realize it's not a good fit, step back and try something new. Chances are you'll gain invaluable knowledge and insights about yourself and the world along the way. There's no need to worry if you stumble or take your time looking for the best fit. Pursue something that ignites a flame inside of you and that you'll pour your heart and soul into. That's when you truly will know it's the right career for you. Graduation signifies the end of one stage of life and the beginning of another. Take the time to determine the right path and remember that there are resources available to help. Talk to experienced professionals, trusted advisors, and family members who can provide insight and feedback. The choice you make is deeply personal, so don't lose yourself while trying to please others. In no time, you'll be able to cast away any doubts and confidently move into the next chapter of your life.
  2. The college years are a time of change and exploration—a crucible for identity formation. After months of excitement and anticipation, many expected freshman daydream about meeting new friends, studying in challenging classes, and joining a string of organizations. But despite the giddy fantasy of college success, high expectations can often evaporate with disappointments, failures, or feelings of loneliness. It's natural to wonder, when the difficulties start rolling in, is this everything I bargained for? I know that feeling. When I moved off to college, I thought I had everything planned out, and I was ready for a new adventure. Little did I know that what lay ahead of me would be much more overwhelming than anything I could have ever anticipated. Everywhere I looked I saw generally excited freshmen, ready and energized to take on college like a caged beast finally released in the wild. For a while, I was inspired too. Joining an array of clubs and organizations was a great way to meet similarly minded people and explore my newfound freedom. But as time dragged on, nothing felt secure. My courses began piling up and I started to doubt myself. I suddenly felt unable to keep up with everyone else, like I was stuck in a constant cycle of pressure and stress with no way out. I was drowning in my own fears and insecurities, and I was too embarrassed to reach out for help. It's not uncommon to feel discouraged during the college transition. The sudden shift in academic requirements, responsibility and friendships can be overwhelming and difficult to adjust to. The key is to trust the process and understand that setbacks are a part of the college experience. There will be moments of difficulty and hardship, but these difficulties can ultimately make you a stronger, more capable individual. If you’re struggling to gain some perspective, try to remember that school isn’t just a place to hit books and take tests. Though it can be easy to get consumed by studies, there are still opportunities for adventure. Take the risks, break out of the orthodox scientific world, and time to time allow yourself to explore other disciplines and activities. Without taking risks, even if they don't always work out, you won't grow. When things feel especially uncertain, self-care is especially important—regardless of whether it’s physical, mental, or spiritual. Taking time for yourself and nourishing your body, mind, and soul helps create a strong foundation from which to explore the world around you. Consider starting a weekly yoga class, a book club, or applying to do labs with a professor. Make sure to touch back with family and friends, those who will love and support you no matter the outcome. One last and most important piece of advice is to learn to savor uncertainty. Life simply doesn’t always turn out as expected. Embrace unexpected turns as learning opportunities, and try not to feel overwhelmed by adversity. Instead look into, listen, and take all the lessons you can. Keep hope alive, stay flexible, and be open to the possibilities. The high school years may seem like all fun and parties, but those times often only set up the unique stage of college life. You'll realize soon enough that the college experience has its own good times, accompanied by struggles and The best is yet to come. Don't let doubt stop you from going after the successes you crave. Say goodbye to what held you back, strap yourself in and have faith that a better future awaits you. Believe in yourself, and firmly repeat the mantra "I'm ready to make the leap". Moving off to college is a momentous occasion, so use it as an opportunity for reinvention and stand boldly as the person you want to be. Ride the waves of uncertainty with gusto, and never underestimate what you can learn along the way.
  3. People often think that long-distance relationships can’t work out, especially when one person is headed off to college while the other remains in high school, but the truth is that distance between the two partners doesn’t signify an impending failed relationship. Although maintaining such a relationship while so far apart can be difficult, it is possible with the right guidelines balancing the stresses of college life, working through communication issues, and understanding each others’ feelings. The first major issue to tackle is time management. With classes and studying taking up most of your day, how will you find time to connect with each other? It’s important for both of you to create a realistic schedule that allows you to both spend quality time together if possible. Maybe you text often throughout the day or video chat a few times a week. No matter the frequency, it’s best to come up with a plan that feels like a realistic goal and one that won’t add extra stress and expectations to either person. Second, you have to remember that college life and high school life are different universes. Each partner needs to understand and respect where the other is coming from and realize that the stresses, temptations, and expectations will be more for one than the other. College tends to bring about more partying and being able to feel like an adult, whereas in high school you often still have to fight for independence. Hostility and negative criticism from either partner is never helpful and can ruin any potential progress that could have been made in resolving disagreements. As for communication, nothing will ever be perfect. Feelings can often be misinterpreted and discussions can get heated. The key here is to remember what it was that brought you two together in the first place, even if things are looking tough. The beauty of a true relationship is being able to talk through things and not let fleeting moments of emotion override your connection. It may be difficult at first, but heartfelt conversations will lead to greater understanding and admiration. It’s also essential that you both value honesty and trust above all else. That is truly the cornerstone during such a tumultuous period in your relationship. As much as you should be honest with each other, accepting the truth can be challenging. You both need to be patient and believe that it’s worth going through the crying, misunderstandings, and even breakups in order to move forward and make the relationship stronger. Finally, know that although this experience can be incredibly rewarding, it also takes a lot of courage and hard work from both sides. Distance won’t seem like it’s getting in the way once you both look back on these years and talk about how strong your relationship became despite the challenges. By not giving up and staying the course, you will come out more connected than ever before. It’s important to take some time to reflect on what’s been going on between you both and figure out a path that makes sense for your unique situation. Never let the distance or the opinion of others stop you from dedicating yourself to the one you love. You can make it happen, but you must keep going despite the highs and lows.
  4. Leaving the place you’ve called home all your life can be one of the most difficult transitions for any young adult. When it comes to attending college and embarking on a new journey, many borrowers feel paralyzed by the thought of being separated from family and friends, and beginning their new lives instead of finishing their old ones. It's important to remember that the feelings of anxiety surrounding this experience don’t have to be scary, but can instead represent an opportunity to grow and develop in ways they never expected. Moving to college and leaving your hometown can be a daunting experience, especially if you fear being alone or worry about germane relationships, including those with significant others. It is impossible to overstate the importance of self-care during stressful periods like this and will greatly benefit you in navigating the transition. That not only applies to physical health, but also to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Try to set up some supportive spaces where you can take comfort when things become overwhelming. Making new friends can provide stability and security during the process of leaving for college. Support networks are important for anyone facing the adventure of college life, and can be formed through mutual interests where a common ground can be created. Whether it's through sports, academic programs, student organizations, or any other activity that can spark your enthusiasm. Start out by getting to know more people who are either in the same major as you or who are facing similar experiences as you. It can also be beneficial to befriend upperclassmen, who may have already gone through the same struggles as you and can provide valuable feedback on how to handle them. While starting college can be filled with testing moments, it can also provide the opportunity to explore relationships and make lasting connections with others. This can be a difficult time even in the best of relationships, and your girlfriend may be just as anxious about the status of your relationship as you are. Consider taking the initiative to discuss how both of you are feeling, and how you can manage those emotions in healthy ways together. Discussing expectations and boundaries, communicating frequently and effectively, and working towards solutions can help keep partners connected, no matter the distance between them. For those transitioning to college, it is important to remember that everyone deserves to be happy. Don't be afraid to take breaks and do things that put a smile on your face. You're not expected to do it all at once, or have everything figured out right away - it's okay to fall, make mistakes and get back up again. Create moments of reflection to appreciate the little successes and have patience frame in order to truly achieve growth. Life is always full of potential and wonderful surprises and if you stay open and remain aware, you will find the courage to try new things and create your own success. Change is inevitable, but it doesn't have to be frightening. By taking these steps, you can simplify the transition to college, remain connected to your loved ones, and ultimately reach alignment with yourself. Such a journey requires resilience and courage, but with the right mindset and preparation, it can also be a fulfilling and joyous experience - the start of something beautiful.
  5. Beginning a relationship in college can seem like a daunting task even without the added strain of a long-distance separation but it is possible. There are many relationships that have started while one person is off at college and has managed to last through graduation and beyond. Navigating such a path can be tricky and the first year of college long-distance relationships hold their own unique set of issues, but with focus and dedication, couples can find success and prosperity. As with any emotional endeavor, communication is key trait when trying to survive a college long-distance relationship; it’s important that both partners talk openly and honestly about how they are feeling and what they are thinking. Dedicating time to connect on a regular basis is also important and there is no longer any excuse for not being able to find the time since modern technology has made it possible to audio chat, email, text and myriad other options available to bridge the gap. Doing fun activities together can help a couple feel connected and increase problem solving skills. The temptation of the single life for one partner can be difficult to navigate as well but is manageable with shared guidelines, trust and understanding in the relationship. What weekend activities are permissible, how long can you spend talking to other people of the opposite sex, should parties be mutually attended, if one partner does not attend what about parties for friends in general – all these questions must be addressed and come to an agreement in order for a long-distance relationship to succeed. Further, it can be hard to share major life decisions with someone so far away and more often than not, those decisions are made by one partner in solitude. This can feel hard to stomach and can breed resentment in the relationship if the partner not making the decisions feels like they are being excluded. Agreeing upon a meeting time once a week to have conversations can help mitigate these problems and allow both parties to process information together, rather than having one-sided decisions. Jealousy can also be an issue when not able to witness the social interactions of a partner and seeing photos on platforms like Instagram or Facebook does not help in alleviating feelings of insecurity or mistrust. This can be compounded if the partner is still attending home university and going to the same events as past flames or exes and could lead to big issues if not dealt with properly. Putting a reminder in one’s calendar to communicate their trust in their current partner can help alleviate these issues and build trust in the relationship. Finally, missing an important event like a birthday or anniversary can damage any relationship but is much more of an issue when unable to physically be present with your partner. Figuring out creative ways to compensate for the meltdowns that ensue after missing something significant is essential for keeping resentment and feelings of being let down or taken for granted from snowballing and damaging the relationship. Making it a priority to attend important events and memorizing dates can go a long way towards maintaining a long-distance relationship during college. Survival of a college long-distance relationship requires dedication from both partners, clear communication, trust and understanding. It can be done, but takes work and openness to make sure the relationship is lasting in the long run and is not just a fling for the virtual world. If some distance is necessary during college, then embracing the challenges and celebrating the successes of a long-distance relationship is all that can be asked.
  6. As adults, most of us feel as if our lives are defined by the milestones we hit. High school sweethearts, college graduations and weddings take center stage in our social life, but for most of us, children are the biggest and proudest accomplishments we can claim. For many friends from college, the conversation naturally gravitates toward their kids. But what happens when one of your party isn’t part of that scene? For any person without children it can be a difficult situation, particularly when everyone else talks about parenting tips and new milestones hit by their children. It can feel exclusionary, frustrating and even depressing. If you’re the one without kids in the group, it can be tempting to blow off the conversations. After all, why join in on something that constantly reminds you that you’re not where your friends are in life? But there is still a way to navigate these conversations and salvage relationships with your closest friends. First and foremost, be honest with yourself and the group. Acknowledge that its hard to join conversations that talk about this particular milestone in life, particularly if the topic drifts away from you. Ask that your friends try to be more mindful and understanding – but don’t be mad at them for celebrating their successes. Some friends may not understand your feelings and might mistakenly think that you are upset with them because they have achieved this milestone. Reassure them that this isn’t the case. You simply need time to adjust to being around friends that may have different life circumstances. Additionally, set clear boundaries with your friends if you need some space. Ask them if they would mind putting the conversation on hold in certain situations. At this specific moment, it may be helpful to take some time for yourself. Though it is difficult to be around such conversations, try to focus outward and be genuinely interested in what your friends are saying about their kids. Avoid coming across as though you are judging them, as that could result in a tense atmosphere. Being a good listener and entering the conversation with an open mind will likely lead to further appreciation and build healthier bonds. Even though you do not share a common denominator with your friends from college, try to celebrate their accomplishments. Don’t let envy take over and remember that there are many other milestones life throws your way. It may not seem like it right now, but eventually you will get to the place you want to be and there’s no need to pressure yourself.
  7. At college campuses across the US, the BORG is gaining massive popularity among students. University officials, however, are far less enthused about this beverage making its way around student hangouts. Last assessed, the BORG is a dangerous mixture of multiple ingredients that can contain upwards of 24% of alcohol content by volume with various soft drink components. So what is the BORG, exactly? The acronym stands for ‘beer or wine mix’, indicating that the beverage is made up of both beer and wine. The beverage consists of light beers, such as Heineken, and fruity wines like Moscato or White Zifandel. The ratio of alcohol content varies based on the components used, but roughly about 4 cans of beer and a bottle of wine plus sugar and flavoring syrup will give about 24%. Due to its rising popularity, both college students and university officials are expressing fear and concern surrounding the consequences of repeated ingestion of the BORG beverage. Firstly, drinking the BORG can have serious health implications in terms of liver damage, addiction, and other problems related to high intake of alcohol. With such high alcohol concentrations, it’s easy to reach heavy intoxication levels. According to experts, it’s dangerously easy to drink an excessive amount of the BORG in a short amount of time, which places consumers in an incredibly risky situation and could cause long-term effects on their bodies. Most states also view the BORG as an illegal concoction and thus, drinking it can result in fines or other punishments, including expulsion from college and/or university. University administrators are taking action by implementing stricter rules regarding public drinking and more severe punishments for anyone caught consuming the BORG. For college students desiring to enjoy a few drinks, there are a variety of alternatives available that are far safer than the BORG. Safe and fun alcohol options include craft beers, hard seltzers, spiked and flavored seltzers, kombucha, flavored malt beverages, and ciders. Despite being a favorite among college students, the BORG mixture contains an astronomically high amount of alcohol content which renders it an incredibly dangerous option for them. While an occasional sip might be okay for adults, it should never be consumed in excess, or in any kind of regular frequency. It is important to remember that moderation is key when it comes to alcohol consumption and to prioritize your physical well-being over peer pressure and trends. Always listen to your body, drink responsibly, and practice self-care.
  8. In recent months, a new drinking trend has emerged on college campuses across the country, fueled by the popular video-sharing app TikTok. Known as "Borg" drinking, this fad involves binge-drinking large quantities of alcohol in a short amount of time, often resulting in dangerous and potentially deadly consequences. Experts are sounding the alarm about the risks of Borg drinking, and calling for more education and prevention efforts to address this troubling trend. What is Borg drinking, and how is it different from other drinking games and challenges? According to reports, Borg drinking involves consuming a series of alcoholic shots or drinks in rapid succession, with the goal of reaching a certain level of intoxication or "Borg status." The term "Borg" is a reference to a fictional alien race from the Star Trek franchise, known for their collective and robotic consciousness. On TikTok, videos of Borg drinking have gone viral, with users sharing footage of themselves and their friends participating in the challenge. Some of these videos show people drinking dozens of shots in a matter of minutes, often cheered on by their peers. While some participants may see it as a fun and harmless way to bond with friends or show off their drinking prowess, experts warn that Borg drinking is anything but safe. The dangers of Borg drinking are numerous and well-documented. Binge-drinking, which is defined as consuming five or more drinks in a row for men, and four or more drinks for women, in a short amount of time, can lead to a range of negative health consequences, including alcohol poisoning, liver damage, and increased risk of accidents and injuries. In extreme cases, binge-drinking can even be fatal. Moreover, Borg drinking often involves peer pressure and a culture of heavy drinking, which can create an environment that is conducive to risky behavior and sexual assault. In a survey of college students, more than 70% reported experiencing pressure to drink, and nearly 20% reported experiencing unwanted sexual advances as a result of drinking. To combat the dangers of Borg drinking and other risky drinking behaviors, experts are calling for a multifaceted approach that includes education, prevention, and enforcement efforts. This can include initiatives such as: Providing students with accurate and up-to-date information about the risks and consequences of binge-drinking and other alcohol-related behaviors. Encouraging responsible drinking habits, such as pacing oneself, alternating alcoholic beverages with water or other non-alcoholic drinks, and avoiding drinking games and challenges. Implementing campus-wide policies and programs that promote a culture of safety and respect, including bystander intervention training and sexual assault prevention initiatives. Enforcing existing laws and regulations related to underage drinking, drunk driving, and other alcohol-related offenses. Experts also stress the importance of involving students themselves in the process of addressing Borg drinking and other risky behaviors. By engaging with student leaders and organizations, and creating opportunities for dialogue and collaboration, colleges and universities can empower students to take ownership of their own health and safety, and help create a more positive and responsible drinking culture on campus. The rise of Borg drinking and other risky drinking trends highlights the need for ongoing education and prevention efforts to address the dangers of alcohol abuse on college campuses. By working together and taking a comprehensive approach to this complex issue, we can help ensure that students are able to enjoy a safe and healthy college experience, and build a culture of respect, responsibility, and resilience. Borg drinking trend on college campuses is a concerning development, one that underscores the need for greater education and prevention efforts around alcohol abuse. While binge-drinking and other risky behaviors have long been a problem on college campuses, the rise of
  9. A girl from college (23F), who I see every wednesday, actually asked for me and gave her number to one of my classmates so he could give it to me... We texted and set up a first date right off the bat... But you all know I am me... I can't just set up a friggin date and forget about the girl until the day of the date... So I ended up texting her all weekend before the first date... She clearly indicated at the beginning she doesn't like guys who message her all the time... ffs.... My excessive eager texting turned her off, made her lose the interest and she texted me today cancelling our date with some lame excuse about her work... and said we would have to reschedule... Tried rescheduling to thursday... she told me she wasn't sure she would be available that day... Took the hint, deleted her number... but texted "In case you want to chat... hit me up..." And forgot about her... Yet, some 4 hours later, she actually hit me up, suddenly with a renewed interest for me, asking how I was... asking about my weekend... and for the first time she liked one of my IG stories... Not sure if she is still interested, feels bad for cancelling our date, or is just seeking attention.
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