Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'self esteem'.
Found 7 results
-
How to Spot If You're Trapped in The People-Pleasing Trap
Matthew Frank posted an article in Personal Growth
.webp.e5963d3641755889bb0b1745066a5dab.webp)
People-pleasing often starts off as an innocent attempt to nurture better relationships. You try to be a supportive friend or family member, help make someone happy, or show them your love. Unfortunately, by constantly prioritizing others' needs above yours, people-pleasing can often do more damage than good. This can take a toll on your overall sense of well-being and self-worth unless strong boundaries are established. The first step to breaking the people-pleasing trap is to understand why it's so appealing. When you do something to make someone else feel special, you become a source of joy and comfort to that person. Meanwhile, internally, it helps you avoid facing tough issues or dealing with problems head-on. It serves as an easy out for difficult emotions. On some level, it also offers a sense of control — when things don't go the way you expect, you can manipulate those around you to create the outcome that you want. Sadly, these temporary pleasures soon give way to deep-seated unhappiness, especially when it happens often. It doesn't take long for people-pleasing to become an ingrained habit — hence, the term "people-pleasing trap" — but here are some signs that will help you identify whether it has a hold on you: • You don't feel capable or confident in making decisions, so you let others decide instead. • You always offer to help out or volunteer at any opportunity available — even when your plate is already overflowing. • You apologize excessively or feel bad when something goes wrong — even when it's not your fault. • You always put others' needs ahead of your own. • You feel like you have to be perfect every time — you expect perfection from yourself, and you want others to think highly of you. • You quickly back down to defuse conflict when it arises. • You get easily overwhelmed when talking to people you don't know. • You find yourself saying "yes" to every request, even when you really want to say no. The key to ending the people-pleasing trap is to accept and respect your own limitations, needs, and wants — without seeking external validation from others. Identifying what triggers you to people-please and setting boundaries is essential. Reflecting on ways to maintain healthy relationships while still taking care of yourself is important too. Think what you have to gain or lose in any given situation and check in with yourself often to see how you're feeling. Of course, it takes time and practice to break free of the people-pleasing trap, but it's well worth the effort. After all, only when you start to value yourself and take ownership of your decisions will you regain control over your life and carve out your own path to happiness. -
How Do I Overcome Feelings of Self-Doubt and Distress?
Natalie Garcia posted an article in Mental Health
.webp.95d6354a6390b5f312d078011b00f1e8.webp)
I never thought I'd be writing a letter like this. I'm a 29 year old woman and in the past, I was usually the one giving advice to my friends. Lately, I feel like I'm stuck in a cycle of feeling emotionally drained and constantly anxious. I'm aware that it's impossible for anyone to fix every worry I have about my future, but I'm at a point where I need other perspectives and advice. Throughout my life, I've always been very independent, and I'm proud of that, but recently I can't shake the feeling that I will never be able to achieve what I want out of life. I find it hard to put into words how distressed I am. It's like something is always blocking me from outperforming my expectations. I feel like I've been pushing hard towards goals, only to be dragged back down. I'm reaching out to get advice on how to cope with this self-doubt and distress. How do I overcome this roadblock? Nothing ever seems to come together in one place. What can I do to ensure that I won't fall away from my aspirations? How do I feel like myself again and stop this constant pull between needing and wanting success while at the same time feeling overwhelmed and helpless? * * * If you're struggling with feelings of self-doubt and distress, you're not alone. Many of us experience these moments of doubt and despair, but there are strategies you can use to help yourself move forward towards your goals. Start by taking some time for yourself. This could mean setting aside a few days or even a weekend to do things that make you feel relaxed and recharged. Engage in activities that bring you joy and make you feel refreshed, such as going for a walk in nature, listening to music, watching a movie, reading a book, or spending time with a friend or loved one. Taking this time away from any stressors or obligations will allow you to truly relax and step away from the feelings that are holding you back. Next, take steps to combat the self-doubt that's weighing you down. Remind yourself of your dreams and ambitions, and create achievable daily or weekly goals that will help you move closer to achieving them. Writing down the goals that mean the most to you will help motivate you to stay on track. You can also talk to a mentor or trusted advisor who can offer guidance and serve as a listening ear. It's also important to remember that the feelings of self-doubt and distress you're experiencing aren't permanent. Keeping things in perspective and accepting that setbacks are a normal part of life can help you be more accepting of what you can and cannot control. Building resilience through understanding other people's experiences, using positive self-talk, connecting with your purpose, and practicing self-compassion can help you have a better attitude towards yourself when emotions become overwhelming. Reach out for help when you need it. It's perfectly OK to ask for assistance from a professional if you are having trouble dealing with your emotions. Counseling and therapy can be a great way to help you identify and address the source of your distress. Medication may also be an option, depending on the severity of the issue. We all experience moments of self-doubt and distress, but with patience and effort, you can find ways to cope with these feelings and move forward towards achieving your goals. -
.jpg.dc8ffe8c16a6eb52e1ea03e1b7a103cc.jpg)
Many of us go through life with a fear that holds us back from attaining our goals and passions, or maybe from even pursuing them altogether. We make excuses, build walls, and drift away from the thought that life can be better if we just step out of our comfort zone. We feel stuck and it’s hard to ground ourselves in order to stand firm on the things that we believe in. Most of us have a fear of failure and view things from such a narrow perspective, that we become overwhelmed and defeated before we even get started. It's human instinct to want to protect ourselves and sidestep any potential obstacles. That’s why it’s important to realize that it all starts with our own mindset. We cannot move forward until we acknowledge that most people stand in our way--we are the ones who refuse to set boundaries and don't believe in our ability to succeed. Everyone has a story—a story of strength, symbolism, hope, and possibility. How often do we just allow a moment to pass us by because of doubt and insecurities? We need to begin asking ourselves bigger questions, digging deeper into our process and motivations, to fully comprehend our approach and how we can take control of our lives. In doing so, we can start to create meaningful changes that bring about harmony and clarity in our lives. We should replace waiting for the right opportunity to come knocking at our doorstep, with taking risks and creating moments to seize those opportunities. There are things we cannot prepare for, obstacles that may come up unexpectedly, but that doesn’t mean we can’t push forward. We must challenge ourselves to look beyond what’s expected and see possibilities that otherwise wouldn’t exist. Let’s start by committing to ourselves and having faith, then replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. It’s difficult to stay on path when faced with daunting circumstances, but if we focus on the goal, then we can get to a place where we understand ourselves more deeply. Being open to new experiences is vital, allowing us to develop skills and resources that enable us to stay the course. Trust and be assured that there is hope and that you can be admired for your perseverance. Remember that everyone makes mistakes along the way and that what was meant to drag you down, can become a strength and a lesson learned. If we believe in ourselves, take responsibility for our actions and follow our instincts, then together we can start to create a life that is only limited by our imaginations. Taking control of our lives begins with realizing that most people stand in our way. Learning to set appropriate boundaries, understanding our own limitations, and believing in our ability to try and fail without feeling like a failure is key. When we have reverence for ourselves, life is ours to shape and stretch. We have a choice to remain stuck or to become unstoppable in our lives. Keeping the fire burning within enables us to live fearlessly and create a life full of joy, purpose and endless possibilities. -
.jpg.9ff2fd433a6ef3da6b39327350d2dcb5.jpg)
It’s a dilemma many of us face in our relationships: Despite wanting to be there for our friends and loved ones, we often feel like we are just being used. During times of hardship and strife, it’s natural to want to be able to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry upon. But sometimes, we feel taken advantage of; as if the other person is only coming to us when they need something, yet not returning the favor when we need help. It can be difficult to make sense of the emotions accompanying this experience. Do these feelings mean we’re being too sensitive or “petty”? Perhaps the other person doesn’t realize how unbalanced the situation feels. Or worse, maybe they do recognize that they’re taking advantage of us, but just don’t care enough to adjust their behavior. No matter the cause, it’s hard to ignore how deflated we feel after our interactions with this person. Our self-esteem is knocked down significantly when our selfless acts of kindness go unreturned or unappreciated. We question our worthiness as an individual, wondering why this particular person can’t or won’t reciprocate. But even if we have an inkling that someone may be using us, it’s so confusing to feel hurt by it. After all, we made the choice to lend support out of love, understanding and kindness – which should feel good. So why isn’t it? The answer to this lies in recognizing a key difference between offering temporary solace and true care. The former serves as a pleasant distraction from the source of their troubles, while the latter involves meaningful connection and comfort. We feel unfulfilled when the involvement lacks the elements integral to a strong bond. So, despite what may go through our minds in moments of this feeling – “I’m not needed”, “they don’t appreciate me” and “I’m not important” – the truth is that these negative thoughts might not convey the whole story. Rather than being “petty”, it could be that we simply haven’t had the chance to be appreciated yet. That thought can instead be a useful reminder of self-worth and a powerful motivator to seek relationships where both parties give and receive in equal measure (or at least closer to equal). Until then, while it’s understandable that having such unmet expectations can bring us disappointment, it’s important to understand that we also possess unique gifts, talents and strengths that are worthy of being appreciated for and shared unconditionally. It’s these qualities that ultimately shape us into the people we are, and will continue to do so. When met with the type of one-sided relationship that makes us doubt ourselves, know that there are more fulfilling and balanced opportunities out there; ones where this feeling of being ‘used’ can become a thing of the past. -
.jpg.3aab1ebd525667a6b00db7f86acbdf69.jpg)
Gifted children possess a unique combination of interests, abilities and intelligences, which can make them particularly sensitive to their environment. In comparison to their peers, gifted children may be more aware of their own emotions, struggles and triumphs, leading to levels of emotional intensity that can be difficult for parents, teachers and other caregivers to manage. Those who understand the complexity of gifted children can take steps to help these children cope with their heightened emotional sensitivity and develop emotionally safe and healthy strategies. Relationships, Socialization and Emotional Sensitivity A key component of helping gifted children deal with extreme emotional sensitivity is to foster relationships as early as possible. Many gifted children struggle to form meaningful relationships due to their differences in behavior, interests, or language. It is essential that teachers, mentors, parents and other adults in their life connect with gifted children so they can provide support and guidance. Parents can also prioritize socialization in the home, offering activities and opportunities for connecting with others. As with all children, parents should focus on providing unconditional acceptance, building trust and communication, encouraging independent thinking, and modeling appropriate behaviors. Parents should also recognize the importance of listening to their child and responding to their feelings, helping them to learn effective ways of expressing their emotions. Encouraging Empowered Thinking To help a gifted child process their emotions, teaching them to think critically about their current situation can have positive outcomes. While challenging, learning to identify and dissect complex situations can be incredibly empowering. Gifted children need guidance in developing problem-solving skills in order to analyze a situation and accurately identify pertinent points within it. When children feel empowered to think critically and apply what they have learned when making decisions, they will have a more successful experience in handling challenging emotions. Setting and Maintaining Boundaries Because they can pick up more on emotions than their peers, gifted children need clear, consistent boundaries from adults in order to remain secure. These rules should be reinforced regularly and consistently. If a child tests the boundaries, it may require additional exploration to see why the child is doing so, as well as providing an opportunity for discussion and possible adjustment. Similarly, setting reasonable expectations for behavior and performance gives gifted children needed structure for their life. Structure and Self-Soothing Creating a routine is essential for any child, including those who are emotionally sensitive or gifted. With a consistent routine, these children will feel safe and secure, and know what to expect in any given situation. Understanding their preferences and tendencies can also go a long way in creating a healthy structure and environment. Encouraging self-soothing practices such as taking deep breaths, journaling and engaging in hobbies, as well as understanding the need for a break when emotions overwhelm, will further set them up for success. It is also important to give children time away from screens, especially if they appear to be overextended by the various input. No matter what challenges arise in raising a gifted and emotionally sensitive child, understanding their strengths and embracing their uniqueness will be key to providing them with the best assistance and tools to help them thrive. -
.thumb.jpg.adba335085c9c07fb7852e36f6c310a8.jpg)
.jpg.a288b7afb04532532aea31c71e8107b0.jpg)
Childhood can be a difficult time, and trauma experienced during this stage of life may have long-term effects. Understanding the factors that contribute to psychological outcomes in children can help professionals, parents, and educators better prepare for and respond to any potential issues. In particular, new research has highlighted the relationships between parental narcissism, scapegoating, and child psychological outcomes. Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an excessive need for admiration, grandiosity, and lack of empathy, as well as an extreme sense of self-importance. Parents who are narcissistic are often controlling and demanding, with high expectations and difficulty reacting to criticism. Scapegoating is one strategy employed by narcissists, allowing them to avoid taking responsibility for their own shortcomings. It thus involves intentionally or unintentionally punishing, criticizing, and excluding others, typically those who are "weaker" than the narcissist, such as children. Studies into these issues indicate that narcissism affects children's emotional development. Children who live with a narcissistic parent commonly experience feelings of guilt, shame, abandonment, and low self-esteem, as they are viewed as inadequate or even failures. This can lead to a number of related issues, such as higher levels of anxiety and depression. They may also develop a heightened need for approval, or a compulsion to please their parents. Research has also found that these impacts are particularly pronounced when parental narcissism and scapegoating are present together. Scapegoated children may become sensitive to criticism, harboring a fear that any mistakes or rebellion could result in further punishment. This can lead to rigid thinking, diminished problem solving, and increased reactivity. Additionally, the combination of parental narcissism and scapegoating may result in increased animosity between the adults involved, which can potentially further damage a child's psychological wellbeing. In general, the research suggests that positive parenting, defined as warm , encouraging, and communication-focused, is inversely related to both parental narcissism and the use of scapegoating. In order to protect children from potential harm, it is important for adults to be aware of their own narcissistic tendencies, as well as their potential to employ scapegoating. For those struggling with either of these behaviors, seeking help from a mental health professional is highly recommended. For adults in positions of power, such as teachers and coaches, it is also important to be aware of the possibility of child victims of parental scapegoating, so that the best possible care and support can be provided. Signs to look out for include behavioral difficulties, frequent stress and anxiety, difficulty following instructions, and reclusiveness. Understanding the relationships between parental narcissism, scapegoating, and child psychological outcomes is invaluable in creating a safe and positive environment for children to thrive. -
.jpg.cd42fa687e5f10bdd37625d17cd564d5.jpg)
Confidence is an essential trait that can help us succeed in all areas of life, from our careers to our personal relationships. However, many of us struggle with confidence and may find ourselves feeling insecure or self-doubting. The good news is that confidence can be developed, and there are steps we can take to boost our confidence levels. In this article, we will discuss five tips that can help you be more confident. Challenge your negative self-talk Negative self-talk is one of the biggest barriers to confidence. It's that little voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough, smart enough, or attractive enough. To be more confident, you need to challenge that voice and replace it with positive affirmations. Whenever you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, counter it with a positive statement. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough for this job," replace it with, "I am capable and qualified for this job." Practice self-care Self-care is essential for maintaining physical and mental health. It involves taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. When you practice self-care, you show yourself that you value and respect yourself. This, in turn, can boost your confidence levels. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and taking time to do things you enjoy. Set realistic goals Setting goals is an essential part of personal growth and development. However, setting unrealistic goals can actually harm your confidence levels. When you set goals that are too lofty, you're setting yourself up for failure. Instead, set realistic goals that you can achieve. This will help you build confidence as you see yourself making progress. Surround yourself with positive people The people you surround yourself with can have a significant impact on your confidence levels. If you're constantly around people who bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself, your confidence levels will suffer. Instead, surround yourself with positive people who lift you up and support you. This will help you feel better about yourself and boost your confidence levels. Practice self-compassion Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding to yourself. It involves treating yourself the way you would treat a good friend. When you practice self-compassion, you give yourself permission to be human and make mistakes. This can help you build confidence by reducing self-criticism and promoting self-acceptance. Confidence is an essential trait that can help us succeed in all areas of life. By challenging negative self-talk, practicing self-care, setting realistic goals, surrounding yourself with positive people, and practicing self-compassion, you can boost your confidence levels and become more self-assured. Remember, confidence is a skill that can be developed, so keep practicing and don't give up!
.webp.e5963d3641755889bb0b1745066a5dab.webp)
.webp.95d6354a6390b5f312d078011b00f1e8.webp)
.jpg.dc8ffe8c16a6eb52e1ea03e1b7a103cc.jpg)
.jpg.9ff2fd433a6ef3da6b39327350d2dcb5.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.adba335085c9c07fb7852e36f6c310a8.jpg)
.jpg.3aab1ebd525667a6b00db7f86acbdf69.jpg)
.jpg.a288b7afb04532532aea31c71e8107b0.jpg)
.jpg.cd42fa687e5f10bdd37625d17cd564d5.jpg)