Codependent Personality Disorder ?

[shadow_angel]

Codependent Personality Disorder is a dysfunctional relationship with the self characterized by living through or for another, attempts to control others, blaming others, a sense of victimization, attempts to "fix" others, and intense anxiety around intimacy. It is very common in people raised in dysfunctional families, and in the partners and children of alcoholics and addicts.
Emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, relationship dysfunctions, and cycling between hyperactivity / lethargy are evident in many codependents.

does anyone know more about this disorder?

[sisterlynch]

I don't know if it has actually been characterized as a disorder -- has it?

Doesn't it take a while to get things accepted into the DSM -- or what ever that thing is called...the book that Psychologists use to keep track of all the disorders??

Read more about dependent personality disorder. Almost all men have intense anxiety around intimacy, that is very common. They often mistake lust and intimacy...

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

sister is right. The DSM-IV hasn't yet established a codependent disorder. The behavenet.com website only has one hit of the term "codependent". But sister is right, maybe you're confusing this with DEPENDENT personality disorder

Read more about it here:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_personality_disorder

And like I said, the DSM-IV is online at: behavenet.com
and look for the DSM-IVTR link on the right. But Wikipedia is good at elucidating the DSM.

As far as I understand it (but I would go to the links) Dependent Personality Disorder suffers use defense mechanism of introjection (among others) whereby the suffer tends to take on the personality traits of someone they are dependent on (read ex boyfriend for example).

But I don't agree with sisterlynch that men suffer from this more than women. In fact one search of google reveals:

google.com/search?q=men+%22dependent+personality+disorder%22& sourceid=mozilla-search&start=0&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial

that more women than men suffer from this disorder. And as for mistaking lust and intimacy, I really think this is a more apt characterization of women. Men are right brained animals, they're the ones that can sleep with a woman and have no feelings. Women on the other hand have a more difficult time having sex without an emotional attachment.

But we're getting off on a tangent. I hope I helped.

[shadow_angel]

Common signs that you may be a codependent abuser:
· Constantly seek approval and affirmation from your mate, having no sense of self identity outside a relationship
· Inability to feel comfortable when alone
· Feelings of being different or not like others
· Confusion, or a deep sense of inadequacy
· Feeling either totally responsible or completely without blame
· Extreme dependency on your mate, and an intense fear of abandonment
· Unyielding and in need of constant control over all aspects of the relationship
· Extremely low self esteem and may be very self-critical
· Difficulty in developing or sustaining meaningful relationships. Long line of failed relationships of which the codependent believes the other partner was always to blame
· Lies for no reason. Creates a 'false self' that the outside world sees
· Denies or refuses to recognize that his actions are not 'normal' behaviors
· Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self
· Gets bored easily, needs to feel excitement
· Difficulty in following a simple project through. Inability to concentrate
· Unhappy. Joyless. Unable to to relax and have fun
· Depression
· Sadness
· Fearful of change
· Intense lack of self-confidence. Inability to make even simple decisions or choices
· Denies feelings of fear, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, hurt, or shame with self
· Inability to positively see alternatives to bad situations. Pessimism
· Isolation from friends and family
· Believe there is something wrong with you. Think you need to change to make your partner happy
· Fear of making mistakes
· Feel anxiety when faced with anger and criticism
· Confusion between love and pity
· Tendency to be a rescuer and seeks those who 'need' you

[whyme??]

wow.... i read all of those "symptoms" and i have almost all of them.... do i have to go to the psycho to see if it is really that, or what should i do?

[sisterlynch]

Where did you get all that information???

Are you describing a male or a female? To me it sounds like someone who is immature and needs some counseling and some anitidepressants.

It is kind of hard to tell if you are actually describing a person or a personality trait...is this someone that you know?

Why doesn't the person get out of the relationship if it is making them sick??

Tigercat, what is lust? a need for sex, right? what is intimacy? talking about your deepest emotions!!

You thought that I meant sex when I said intimacy, didn't you???

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Originally Posted by sisterlynch

Tigercat, what is lust? a need for sex, right? what is intimacy? talking about your deepest emotions!!

You thought that I meant sex when I said intimacy, didn't you???

No, what made you think that. I thought you meant sex when you said lust. But you're right. Now that I think about it some men may confuse love and lust, but not me. But I think women are equally guilty of this (if not more so). But as far as who gets dependent personality disorder more, check out that link. Women suffer more from DPD.

[sisterlynch]

I believe you that many women are more dependent upon men in this society. I was just playing with one of the items that she had written to see how serious she was. I don't know if she is going to answer any more of these so it sounds like it is just you and me, and I don't really feel like arguing -- do you??

[shadow_angel]

Personality Disorders

A personality disorder is a severe disturbance in the characterological constitution and behavioural tendencies of the individual, usually involving several areas of the personality, and nearly always associated with considerable personal and social disruption. Personality disorder tends to appear in late childhood or adolescence and continues to be manifest into adulthood. It is therefore unlikely that the diagnosis of personality disorder will be appropriate before the age of 16 or 17 years. General diagnostic guidelines applying to all personality disorders are presented below; supplementary descriptions are provided with each of the subtypes.


Dependent Personality Disorder

Dependent Personality Disorder is manifested via passively allowing others to assume responsibility for major areas of ones life due to lack of self-confidence or lack of ability to function independently. This leads to the person making their own needs secondary to the needs of others, and then becoming dependent on them. While everyone is dependent on others for some parts of their lives, those with dependent personality disorder are dependent on almost all major areas of their lives, and view themselves poorly, and good only as extensions of others.

[sisterlynch]

Now do you see why it is going to be hard for them to come in with co-dependent personality as a separate disorder.

Have you ever read a book called Excess Baggage by Judith Silles. She explains things very well in this book. Another good reference is Women who Love too Much.

amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0671733419/002-1220570-6941646?v=glance

I would recommend both of these books if you are interested in women's rights.

Another good book is Christine Northrup's Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom--creating physical and emotional health and healing.

Tell yourself that you will be independent and you will...tell yourself that you will be dependent and you will...follow your own lead!!