Alcohol coming in the way of our relationship

Blue Skittles · 12-04-2004, 02:23 AM

I am in a relationship with this guy - we got back together awhile ago after being broke up - I feel that I have a lot of control in this relationship -is that a good thing? I mean I put my foot down about certain things I feel are wrong - like for instance he was talking to his ex and I said I'm not puttin up with it so he stopped. He also showed me every one of her 5 goodbye-I hate you emails she sent him. So now I can trust him in that regard.

So, now here I am again - he has a drinking problem - one he keeps saying is going to fix but he doesn't. And I"ve had enough. I'm sick of paying the rent and groceries for both of us so that he can drink. So I told him tonight - I won't take it anymore - He has to stop completely and 100% and we will not drink again until New Years Eve or he can move out on January first.

Do you guys think this is reasonable? I told him it was zero tolerance - if he even so much as brings home a six pack it will be goodbye and he can prepare to move out. If he does 'slip' should i stick to my plan or should i let it go by. How many 'slip-ups' should I take?

Don't get me wrong I wanna be with him - and I'm not trying to CHANGE him - i'm just trying to help him get rid of bad habits. And I feel really good about the fact that he tries so hard to please me and to change things just to be with me in the end.

I just need some input on this situation. Thanks everyone.

kalshane · 12-04-2004, 02:35 AM

Blue, just the fact that he would sit up and drink, while you pay for the roof over his head indicates that he has some manhood issues. I'm rooting for you, I hope he does what you ask, but beware. Hey may take the drinking away from you, and do more to hide it. No one can make someone kick a habit, I think you know that.

ticklebug · 12-04-2004, 03:14 AM

controlling that he doesn't talk to his ex is one thing....you don't have a real right to tell him who his freinds can be...

BUT

you don't have to put up with alcoholism...if his drinking affects his ability to support himself then yes, by all means you have a right to put your foot down, andthen in his butt kciking him out the door if he doesn't stop.

BTW - zero tolerance is zero tolerance...if he is truly an alcoholic who needs help with his addiction...drinking on NYE should not be an option either...it could just slip him right back to drinking heavily again...provided he stops for a while before then (which I doubt he will)

12-04-2004, 02:23 AM	#1
Blue Skittles Offline Gold Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Canada Age: 26 Posts: 1,091	Alcohol coming in the way of our relationship I am in a relationship with this guy - we got back together awhile ago after being broke up - I feel that I have a lot of control in this relationship -is that a good thing? I mean I put my foot down about certain things I feel are wrong - like for instance he was talking to his ex and I said I'm not puttin up with it so he stopped. He also showed me every one of her 5 goodbye-I hate you emails she sent him. So now I can trust him in that regard. So, now here I am again - he has a drinking problem - one he keeps saying is going to fix but he doesn't. And I"ve had enough. I'm sick of paying the rent and groceries for both of us so that he can drink. So I told him tonight - I won't take it anymore - He has to stop completely and 100% and we will not drink again until New Years Eve or he can move out on January first. Do you guys think this is reasonable? I told him it was zero tolerance - if he even so much as brings home a six pack it will be goodbye and he can prepare to move out. If he does 'slip' should i stick to my plan or should i let it go by. How many 'slip-ups' should I take? Don't get me wrong I wanna be with him - and I'm not trying to CHANGE him - i'm just trying to help him get rid of bad habits. And I feel really good about the fact that he tries so hard to please me and to change things just to be with me in the end. I just need some input on this situation. Thanks everyone.

12-04-2004, 02:35 AM	#2
kalshane Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: San Francisco, California Gender: Male Age: 35 Posts: 188	Blue, just the fact that he would sit up and drink, while you pay for the roof over his head indicates that he has some manhood issues. I'm rooting for you, I hope he does what you ask, but beware. Hey may take the drinking away from you, and do more to hide it. No one can make someone kick a habit, I think you know that. __________________ "The difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad" -Salvador Dali

12-04-2004, 03:14 AM	#3
ticklebug Offline Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 773	controlling that he doesn't talk to his ex is one thing....you don't have a real right to tell him who his freinds can be... BUT you don't have to put up with alcoholism...if his drinking affects his ability to support himself then yes, by all means you have a right to put your foot down, andthen in his butt kciking him out the door if he doesn't stop. BTW - zero tolerance is zero tolerance...if he is truly an alcoholic who needs help with his addiction...drinking on NYE should not be an option either...it could just slip him right back to drinking heavily again...provided he stops for a while before then (which I doubt he will)