Do I need anger management?

hello everyone. Ok, here's my situation:

I usually try to stay as cool as I can all the time, and it takes something really big to really piss me off. But sometimes, like today, I was walking out of school and some dipstick (I meant something else, but you know you can't write cuss words here...) almost ran me over with his car because those little retards always get out in such a hurry from the student parking lot. I swear that if I had had something to throw at him, I would have done it... I mean, he didn't even stop to say sorry, but it was all so fast that all I could do was say "what the hell (actually, this last word was the 4-lettered word, and I screamed it)?", and when I was turning around, I wished I had something in my hands, but I didn't, and he took off. Anyway, that's another issue... Well, it was just an example.

I mean, sometimes I feel like I want to beat people up, and sometimes I just don't. And mysteriously enough, it's only when I'm experiencing the latter that some people want to mess with me (nothing serious, but they do get on my nerves sometimes). It's just too weird, that when I'm really pissed because I had a rough day, nobody messes with me, but when I'm happy, they do.

Anyway, sometimes I wish I could do more to get my anger out faster, because usually, when I don't, I always plan for the next time, and since this "plan" is usually worse than what I'd do if I acted instantaneously and sometimes I get into trouble. It's just weird, because sometimes I'm in a "you're not going to make me angry" mode, and I do almost nothing against people who get on my nerves or do bad stuff, but sometimes I'm in a "I'll beat the living hell out of him if he touches me-mode" and that's when nobody messes with me even when I'm expecting them to, and I end up wondering "what happened? wasn't he supposed to come and get on my nerves?"... it's almost as if they knew there could be consequences, so they just leave me alone. It's like, when I want to do

I just sometimes feel like a coward, but I know I'm not one (not at least 100%).

I dunno... I wish I could do more things mainly because sometimes I see people being treated unfairly, and I'd like to help them. You know, like a vigilante of some sort that could help others and himself. But I just can't bring myself up to that...

So, my question is, if those things are what I want, should I try to do them, or do I need something like anger management?

PS: I won't do anything crazy or bad.

oh my god you remind me of my boyfriend 100%...it is messed! woah...he has lil guy tough guy syndrome, and has respect from everyone around because they know not to mess with him.......and as much as it seemed he liked the fighting and everything...he was just as scared as you and thought he needed anger management...and to be honest the only thing keeping him outa fights with other guys is me. so from my experience the only advice i could give you is find a cute lil girlfriend lol....and if not talk to your parents, they know you best out of anyone and can prolly offer you the best advice, or maybe take up a sport like hockey/rugby/or something where you could take your aggression out in a civilized way.....but theres nothing wrong with you, you just have a more aggressive personality.....

****thats hot.

peace

oh yah and since hes been stayin out of fighting he has made alot of new friends that he woulda never even considered liking before. His best friend now if a guy he beat up a couple years back...ironic huh. Just proves its better to be friendly than the enemy. bye

Thanks. It really helps to know that I'm not alone. I guess I'll consider the sport suggestion. I sorta have that same problem. Thank you very much and good luck to you Phobia.

Your anger and aggression is within you and you may need to get on a medication to help you to control your own impulses.

The situation you describe of a car almost hitting you is something that you need to be aware of. I know a situation where a high school student was hit and killed by a lady dropping her daughter off at school.

Be aware of your surroundings. You may want to try adderall. that is a good medication for speeding things up a little.

I don't think he needs to be medicated. He hasn't taken any of the actions, so he has some awareness of what is going on and what is right and wrong. You're either that does something and or you're someone that just talks about doing something.

I think maybe you feel you kind of been disrespected by the guy in the car, especially how you described it, so that made you angry. That is pretty normal. Your feelings of wanting to beat people up...maybe you have some insecurities and you feel you need to prove something to someone.

DBL

I was thinking about anger management, because the smallest stupidest things people do drive me up the wall. The majority of it is my little brother, we love each other, but he annoys me so much, i have holes in my wall where i've punched it and i've had to replace my bedroom door a few times from kicking it in. Oh well, i guess better the wall than him...

It can never hurt to talk to someone about it.

Yes better the wall then your little brother. Do what my parents did, first they went out and got me a punching bag. The closet doors were taken out since they were worthless, my bedroom door had some damage, so my father screwed 3/4in plywood on the back of the door. So if I hit it, I didn't break the door anymore. End of problem. Don't destroy others properties though.

Good Luck

DBL

Just be careful, and try to keep some self control....I keep my anger to myself and dont say anything, sometimes for years at a time, and then I snap it all goes out at once...not a good thing dude, and you do NOT want to be near me and even more so the one that sets me off when I do. I have learnt to keep mine under control over time, so as long as you can control it, I dont think you need to tak anger management courses....although it cant hurt if you feel you may need to

well, actually my problem is more of expressing anger healthily than anything else... I mean, sometimes I don't express my anger at all, but it builds up like computer guy said.

Also, about the accident with the car, he was supposed to yield, but instead he decided to go on while I was already in front of him, as if I wasn't even there and they even pushed me, but nothing happened... it was very weird, but I just know that something bad could have happened and that it was his fault because he was supposed to yield. And I seriously felt like throwing a big stone or something and I even stood there considering like opening his door and pulling him out... I mean, it's stuff like that that get on my nerves.

I dunno, maybe what happens is that I should express my anger more often, or that I need anger management, but I do wish I could do more in reprisal to that sort of thing... and I think about doing it and when I'm like "prepared" to do something and think "alright, seriously, this time, no more mr. nice guy", it's like people know and don't do anything even when I expected them to and I was prepared for them to do it... I also used to be very destructive towards objects when I was little. And I expressed my anger less rarely and I never felt like I wanted to do more in reprisal, or that I maybe need anger management... So, what was so different back then? I dunno... I guess I'll try those things, like hitting the bag and stuff. And about wanting to prove something to someone, I don't think that would be the case, because I really don't have anything to prove to anyone, except, perhaps, myself? I dunno, all I know is that I'm starting already to give up on living up to my parent's expectations, because it's simply impossible to be who they want me and expect me to be. So, should I look for professional help?

I really am not sure of what's going on... Sometimes I wish I stood up for myself and others way more often... could that have anything to do with this?

Phobia, what you say reminds me of me, except that I'm a woman and not capable of beating anyone up. lol.

But the anger part ... I saw a counselor once and she said the problem was that I don't speak up for myself. So, what you suspect about yourself is probably true too. Maybe you need to learn to stand up for yourself -- maybe not physically by fighting someone, but by saying your opinion more and not allowing yourself to feel like a victim.

People usually end up having anger problems because of years and years of being criticized or pressured or just swallowing what they think/want. Then they start fantasizing about revenge, etc.

So, I've noticed that for me, it does help to be more assertive. I'm still sometimes passive aggressive -- like, I reject people who have hurt me in some way, instead of just telling me how I feel.

If you can get some professional help, that'd be a good move. Everyone can benefit from becoming more self-aware, plus if you learn some techniques for speaking your mind in a safe way, you'll become that strong person you want to be.

Hope some of this helps. Good luck!

OH, one other thing.

When you learn to speak up for yourself, you'll also learn to see the difference between people who do things because they're not paying attention (they're careless) and when they're doing things intentionally.

Instead of getting mad at everyone who crosses your boundaries, you'll realize that some things aren't worth arguing about. Like when a kid bumps into you in the hall because he's distracted. Hey - his bad; no big deal. That's way different than a guy who trash talks you to his friend, and you overhear it, for example.

I have sorta the same problem as his, except that I like to hit stuff... some times, when I get angry, even at school, I feel this impulse like I wanna hit something really badly. When I get angry at home, the same happens, but it sorta isn't as bad... But I do feel like some, I dunno, chill or electric current going up my spine that makes me wanna hit something, but i control it, but in the end I feel like I should have "satisfied" myself... Is that normal?

I mean, I've seen that for anger management purposes, getting into stuff like martial arts and such helps because they make you hit stuff... but my problem is that last time I did something like that, I took Karate classes, and only was like 3 months because I couldn't stand like when we practiced grabs and stuff, b/c I just don't like when ppl touch me... So, any suggestions? I can't get anything to hit at home, and I don't wanna go to Karate classes ever again... I mean, if at least it was like boxing, I wouldn't mind getting hit that much, but when there stuff like those grabs and such, I really don't like those...

Anyway, I do need some help, because I've been angry at myself for the longest time, and I'm starting to take it out on ppl... Plus, I can't seem to find a boxing gym/training facility/whatever you wanna call them in my area... damn! Please help... I'd have made a new post about this, but I already have another post today, and today I felt again the "chill" going up my spine when these guys were being really loud and annoying in my last class...