Love in screen or on screen??

jl108 · 08-02-2004, 10:25 AM

Me and my bf was in a same work place, I felt nothing when we first met, and there was not any conversation between us at all. But we met online in a chance, very miraculously, we begin to like each other through MSN, because we were 24/7 chatting as well. And then and then and then we become lover...

I am confusing, what's the different between online chat and traditional face to face chat? why the effects are so different? If there were not Internet we might not go together, right?

Should we thank of the Internet or not? maybe I was thinking too much, but I am still confusing.

sayer7 · 08-02-2004, 11:18 AM

I've had quite a few online relationships that went offline. I think the biggest challenge is making your real-life relationship with that person as deep and meaningful as the conversations you have with them online.
Sometimes it's hard because without the screen in front of your face and the distance between you, it can be really kinda scary to open yourself up to them like that in real life.

For me, I write my feelings better than communicating them verbally. In person I do more thinking and more consideration of what I have to say before I say it cause I'm often scared of saying something wrong and not being able to retract it... whereas on the computer I just type what I'm thinking and knowing there's always the backspace key.

If you feel comfortable talking to the person on the screen- just know that that person is inside the person you see at work. Open your mouth and express yourself and try to make the relationship online as meaningful as the one offline.

ComputerGuy · 08-02-2004, 12:20 PM

Its a lot easier to be yourself, open up and just relax when you're online than what it is when you are face to face. All you have online are words to express yourselves, so you learn more about each other. It also removes the physical barrier that would normally stop a lot of people pursuing a relationship. When you fall in love with a person online, it's their personiality you fall for, not what they look like.

Double J · 08-02-2004, 05:29 PM

Sayer put it very nicely. I personally had an experience where, unfortunately, the "Deep and meaningful" online conversations did not remain intact when it became an offline relationship. It just so happens that when people talk to each other online before meeting offline, they tend to idealize and set certain expectations of the other person; in other words, they envision the other person as closest to fulfilling their criteria of what they look for in a partner as possible. This doesn't always (usually not) come to happen.

If the two meet and one person (or both) winds up disappointed because the other didn't turn out as imagined, gradually the person will make himself or herself less available as a way of showing that he or she isn't interested. In other cases, the two decide to stay offline friends, which is the best case scenario.

jl108 · 08-03-2004, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sayer7

For me, I write my feelings better than communicating them verbally. In person I do more thinking and more consideration of what I have to say before I say it cause I'm often scared of saying something wrong and not being able to retract it... whereas on the computer I just type what I'm thinking and knowing there's always the backspace key.

But if you always think about having the backspace key, you might very tired. lots of people choose to chat online is for relaxing, for speaking out so that might get rid of the pressures from real life for the moment. So I think the online person you'd like to chat to should be the one you can express more about yourself, you don't need to care as much as in real life. That's also the basic reason makes me so different between online and offline.

jl108 · 08-03-2004, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ComputerGuy

Its a lot easier to be yourself, open up and just relax when you're online than what it is when you are face to face. All you have online are words to express yourselves, so you learn more about each other. It also removes the physical barrier that would normally stop a lot of people pursuing a relationship. When you fall in love with a person online, it's their personiality you fall for, not what they look like.

yeah I agree, I do fall for his personiality because I've met him before. I am always happy for this

We are both shame persons personally, just try my best to open up. Thanks.

jl108 · 08-03-2004, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Double J

Sayer put it very nicely. I personally had an experience where, unfortunately, the "Deep and meaningful" online conversations did not remain intact when it became an offline relationship. It just so happens that when people talk to each other online before meeting offline, they tend to idealize and set certain expectations of the other person; in other words, they envision the other person as closest to fulfilling their criteria of what they look for in a partner as possible. This doesn't always (usually not) come to happen.

If the two meet and one person (or both) winds up disappointed because the other didn't turn out as imagined, gradually the person will make himself or herself less available as a way of showing that he or she isn't interested. In other cases, the two decide to stay offline friends, which is the best case scenario.

Thanks for the reply.

When the two meet, they can forget all words in Internet and start a new relationship again, if successful, then it's perfect; if not, just saying they are not suitable. It's easy!

Actually I don't like chatting with stranger online and then dating offline, in my mind I still believe meet face to face in a chance at first and then fall in love is the right track for a romantic love story, hehe.... So when I chat with friends online I still keep some kinds of distance deliberately, sometimes I am very tired.

08-02-2004, 10:25 AM	#1
jl108 Offline Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: NZ Age: 28 Posts: 18	Love in screen or on screen?? Me and my bf was in a same work place, I felt nothing when we first met, and there was not any conversation between us at all. But we met online in a chance, very miraculously, we begin to like each other through MSN, because we were 24/7 chatting as well. And then and then and then we become lover... I am confusing, what's the different between online chat and traditional face to face chat? why the effects are so different? If there were not Internet we might not go together, right? Should we thank of the Internet or not? maybe I was thinking too much, but I am still confusing.

08-02-2004, 11:18 AM	#2
sayer7 Offline Silver Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Southeast USA Age: 30 Posts: 365	I've had quite a few online relationships that went offline. I think the biggest challenge is making your real-life relationship with that person as deep and meaningful as the conversations you have with them online. Sometimes it's hard because without the screen in front of your face and the distance between you, it can be really kinda scary to open yourself up to them like that in real life. For me, I write my feelings better than communicating them verbally. In person I do more thinking and more consideration of what I have to say before I say it cause I'm often scared of saying something wrong and not being able to retract it... whereas on the computer I just type what I'm thinking and knowing there's always the backspace key. If you feel comfortable talking to the person on the screen- just know that that person is inside the person you see at work. Open your mouth and express yourself and try to make the relationship online as meaningful as the one offline. __________________ Learn from the Past, Live in the Present, Prepare for the Future.

08-02-2004, 12:20 PM	#3
ComputerGuy Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Geelong, Australia Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,524	Its a lot easier to be yourself, open up and just relax when you're online than what it is when you are face to face. All you have online are words to express yourselves, so you learn more about each other. It also removes the physical barrier that would normally stop a lot of people pursuing a relationship. When you fall in love with a person online, it's their personiality you fall for, not what they look like. __________________ Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive??? ('"\(o.O)/"') Free Hugs Campaign - http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkSVWKk1xqE - Do your bit!!!

08-02-2004, 05:29 PM	#4
Double J Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 494	Sayer put it very nicely. I personally had an experience where, unfortunately, the "Deep and meaningful" online conversations did not remain intact when it became an offline relationship. It just so happens that when people talk to each other online before meeting offline, they tend to idealize and set certain expectations of the other person; in other words, they envision the other person as closest to fulfilling their criteria of what they look for in a partner as possible. This doesn't always (usually not) come to happen. If the two meet and one person (or both) winds up disappointed because the other didn't turn out as imagined, gradually the person will make himself or herself less available as a way of showing that he or she isn't interested. In other cases, the two decide to stay offline friends, which is the best case scenario. __________________ - Everything happens for a reason.