Ladies is this idea acceptable

tobtella · 07-20-2004, 02:36 PM

Hi & thanks for reading this.

I've fancied my daughters school teacher for around 2 years, did some parent helping in her class last year, but conversations were always with the class around, awkward in a school situation to really get chatting on a personal basis.

Tomorrow is my daughters last day at this school, so I don't have to worry about losing face in the event of a rejection, would it be acceptable to have a bunch of roses sent to the school via courier/taxi, to arrive around 3.30 when schools finished, with a note stating
"In the unlikely event of your being single, call or text me. Would love to take you out to dinner."

Would the fact that a courier turns up with flowers for this one teacher, which would be left at the office no doubt, embarrass her with her colleagues?

Would it be better to just send a letter addressed to her by the courier.

And of course despite being a Ms I don't know if she has a partner.

Is there a better way to approach this?

Any advice from the ladies would be very useful, thanks.

Beec · 07-20-2004, 02:46 PM

I am no lady, but I would never apporach a woman in this manner. No way.

I mgiht send something else if I could not come up with a different way to get contact with her, but it would not be roses. You need to send a mixed message, not an open declaration of love.

ComputerGuy · 07-20-2004, 02:46 PM

I'd say it's worth shot, you got nothing to lose and everything to gain. And as you said, you don't have to worry about losing face.

Unlike what was said by the other dude, I don't think roses are an open declaration of love, they'd just be saying "I like you".

GL

Lily04 · 07-20-2004, 02:47 PM

Hi,

I think that's so romantic, and if she's single, she'd probably be very flattered! I don't think it's embarrassing either. The other colleagues will probably just think it's from a finance or something (what I would assume) and carry on their business, or just politely ask if it's her birthday or anniversary or something. She'd probably just respond that it's an admirer or something..=)

You could just leave a note as well, but it wouldn't have such a big effect. It's up to you..I think the roses & such a sincere note would leave a good impression & she'd probably want to know what great guy sent them to her.

Also, you're not corssing boundaries anywhere, so I think it's OK. If your daughter were a teenager it could be more awkward, but I'm assuming she's not, so there's nothing wrong with pursuing this relationship. Since the year is over & she probably won't have her again (hence you won't see her) I think delivering some kind of message to her is a good idea. It's completely up to you if you want to leave the roses or not, but if anything I think she'll feel flattered rather than embarrased.

Good luck to you, take care,

sparrow

tobtella · 07-20-2004, 02:59 PM

Thanks all for your quick replies, typical guy I had no idea offering roses was a declaration of love, so I'll change the flowes to a pretty bunch that catches my eye at the florist.

I would still appreciate any more comments as despite the fact that with a rejection I just won't see or hear from her & will probably never see her again I am still very nervous/shy about this.

And this coming from a gobby 35 year young DJ!

ComputerGuy · 07-20-2004, 03:06 PM

Dude, I just asked a bunch of my female friends on MSN and I say go with the roses.

ECD · 07-20-2004, 05:16 PM

I dont know if this would apply to your school, but if it is a small school, for your daughter's sake, I would not do that. If her friends find out that one of her teachers dates her dad, it may cause her some social problems.

My 2 cents of advice.

northernlights · 07-20-2004, 05:46 PM

Send the letter. Or find out if she's got a fiance/married, and THEN send the flowers.

Why? Because if she gets flowers, and she has a significant other, and he finds out, she's in huge trouble with him.
You don't know how this potentially existent lover might react.

And I have friends who were teachers, and believe me, they gossip BIG time. If she gets flowers and other teachers see it, the word will spread. If they find out it's you, that could get really bad.

The roses idea is sweet if you're positive she's available. If not, you could just get her in trouble.

tobtella · 07-20-2004, 08:43 PM

Oh what to do. Some of you are positive, some not.

There's no way I can find out if she has a partner, not something you can just ask. I would have thought if she did she would throw the flowers away & not take them home, but yes everybody gossips & a delivery of some flowers is gonna attract attention & that is awkward. Maybe I should change it to chocolate?

As to being awkward for my daughter, well she leaves the school for good tomorrow & I'd make sure the delivery wasn't until after school.

The school is the only way I can do this though, whilst her address is in the phone book I would not approach that way, as I feel that's an invasion.

Well only another 12 hours or so until I either walk into a taxi office & give them the items to deliver or I forget it & wonder...

Lily04 · 07-21-2004, 01:54 AM

I think the previous replier probably thought that your daughter was a teen or pre-teen. If your daughter is only in elementary school though, dating a teacher (that she'll never get again, likely) is not going to be such hot news. And even if it is gossiped about, it shouldn't wreck a summer relationship.

I really think you should go for it. Even if she has a finance/husband, showing affection isn't a sin or something. She'll probably just call you up & gently let you know she's already in a relationship. And if not, then you gained something! If she seemed interested in you in class than she probably isn't married anyways.

Just go for it..I think she'll be respecting of your privacy and won't tell all the teachers so it spreads like wildfire. But that's just my optimistic prediction. It's up to you..if you want to tone it down a bit, chocolate is fine or just a letter. But I think you should do something..if she likes you back, then it may be the start of something beautiful!

take care,

sparrow

07-20-2004, 02:36 PM	#1
tobtella Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6	Ladies is this idea acceptable Hi & thanks for reading this. I've fancied my daughters school teacher for around 2 years, did some parent helping in her class last year, but conversations were always with the class around, awkward in a school situation to really get chatting on a personal basis. Tomorrow is my daughters last day at this school, so I don't have to worry about losing face in the event of a rejection, would it be acceptable to have a bunch of roses sent to the school via courier/taxi, to arrive around 3.30 when schools finished, with a note stating "In the unlikely event of your being single, call or text me. Would love to take you out to dinner." Would the fact that a courier turns up with flowers for this one teacher, which would be left at the office no doubt, embarrass her with her colleagues? Would it be better to just send a letter addressed to her by the courier. And of course despite being a Ms I don't know if she has a partner. Is there a better way to approach this? Any advice from the ladies would be very useful, thanks.

07-20-2004, 02:46 PM	#3
ComputerGuy Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Geelong, Australia Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,524	I'd say it's worth shot, you got nothing to lose and everything to gain. And as you said, you don't have to worry about losing face. Unlike what was said by the other dude, I don't think roses are an open declaration of love, they'd just be saying "I like you". GL __________________ Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive??? ('"\(o.O)/"') Free Hugs Campaign - http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkSVWKk1xqE - Do your bit!!!

07-20-2004, 03:06 PM	#6
ComputerGuy Offline Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Geelong, Australia Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 1,524	Dude, I just asked a bunch of my female friends on MSN and I say go with the roses. __________________ Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive??? ('"\(o.O)/"') Free Hugs Campaign - http://youtube.com/watch?v=dkSVWKk1xqE - Do your bit!!!

07-20-2004, 02:46 PM	#2
Beec Offline Platinum Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New York Posts: 7,556	I am no lady, but I would never apporach a woman in this manner. No way. I mgiht send something else if I could not come up with a different way to get contact with her, but it would not be roses. You need to send a mixed message, not an open declaration of love.

07-20-2004, 02:47 PM	#4
Lily04 Offline Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,875	Hi, I think that's so romantic, and if she's single, she'd probably be very flattered! I don't think it's embarrassing either. The other colleagues will probably just think it's from a finance or something (what I would assume) and carry on their business, or just politely ask if it's her birthday or anniversary or something. She'd probably just respond that it's an admirer or something..=) You could just leave a note as well, but it wouldn't have such a big effect. It's up to you..I think the roses & such a sincere note would leave a good impression & she'd probably want to know what great guy sent them to her. Also, you're not corssing boundaries anywhere, so I think it's OK. If your daughter were a teenager it could be more awkward, but I'm assuming she's not, so there's nothing wrong with pursuing this relationship. Since the year is over & she probably won't have her again (hence you won't see her) I think delivering some kind of message to her is a good idea. It's completely up to you if you want to leave the roses or not, but if anything I think she'll feel flattered rather than embarrased. Good luck to you, take care, sparrow

07-20-2004, 02:59 PM	#5
tobtella Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6	Thanks all for your quick replies, typical guy I had no idea offering roses was a declaration of love, so I'll change the flowes to a pretty bunch that catches my eye at the florist. I would still appreciate any more comments as despite the fact that with a rejection I just won't see or hear from her & will probably never see her again I am still very nervous/shy about this. And this coming from a gobby 35 year young DJ!

07-20-2004, 05:16 PM	#7
ECD Offline Join Date: May 2004 Location: Hell Posts: 124	I dont know if this would apply to your school, but if it is a small school, for your daughter's sake, I would not do that. If her friends find out that one of her teachers dates her dad, it may cause her some social problems. My 2 cents of advice.

07-20-2004, 05:46 PM	#8
northernlights Offline Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Age: 24 Posts: 218	Send the letter. Or find out if she's got a fiance/married, and THEN send the flowers. Why? Because if she gets flowers, and she has a significant other, and he finds out, she's in huge trouble with him. You don't know how this potentially existent lover might react. And I have friends who were teachers, and believe me, they gossip BIG time. If she gets flowers and other teachers see it, the word will spread. If they find out it's you, that could get really bad. The roses idea is sweet if you're positive she's available. If not, you could just get her in trouble.

07-20-2004, 08:43 PM	#9
tobtella Offline Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 6	Oh what to do. Some of you are positive, some not. There's no way I can find out if she has a partner, not something you can just ask. I would have thought if she did she would throw the flowers away & not take them home, but yes everybody gossips & a delivery of some flowers is gonna attract attention & that is awkward. Maybe I should change it to chocolate? As to being awkward for my daughter, well she leaves the school for good tomorrow & I'd make sure the delivery wasn't until after school. The school is the only way I can do this though, whilst her address is in the phone book I would not approach that way, as I feel that's an invasion. Well only another 12 hours or so until I either walk into a taxi office & give them the items to deliver or I forget it & wonder...

07-21-2004, 01:54 AM	#10
Lily04 Offline Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,875	I think the previous replier probably thought that your daughter was a teen or pre-teen. If your daughter is only in elementary school though, dating a teacher (that she'll never get again, likely) is not going to be such hot news. And even if it is gossiped about, it shouldn't wreck a summer relationship. I really think you should go for it. Even if she has a finance/husband, showing affection isn't a sin or something. She'll probably just call you up & gently let you know she's already in a relationship. And if not, then you gained something! If she seemed interested in you in class than she probably isn't married anyways. Just go for it..I think she'll be respecting of your privacy and won't tell all the teachers so it spreads like wildfire. But that's just my optimistic prediction. It's up to you..if you want to tone it down a bit, chocolate is fine or just a letter. But I think you should do something..if she likes you back, then it may be the start of something beautiful! take care, sparrow