Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14

Thread: I want to kill myself

  1. #1
    Member STARSHINE42's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    NEW YORK
    Age
    32
    Posts
    58

    I want to kill myself

    Hello everyone,
    This is really hard for me to write. But I feel I have nobody to talk to. Latley I have had serious thoughts of killing myself. It's not because of one bad relationship, or something stupid. It's EVERYTHING.
    To start off, I'm 22 I dropped out of highschool, I have a horrible job. I am still living with my mother. She has been saying she wants me out of the house. My father is in prison. I have no family or friends left. My Ex boyfriend is the only thing that would make me truly happy, but I broke his heart and he hates me. I know you all will say "don't worry things will get better go back to school, you will meet someone......." But they wont. It's to late to go back to school, I don't even have a car. no money, and if I were to move out of my mothers, I would have to get an apartment and work like 80 hours a week.
    The sad thing is, I don't wanna die, I really don't. All I want is to be happy ...and well I don't see that happening. Things keep getting worse and worse. I feel like a failure. Ok well I AM a failure. And I have nobody to blame but myself for all of my mistakes, and now it's to late.
    So I guess what I need advice on, is how to do it. I want it done fast!painless! and not gross. (like shooting myself, or laying on the tracks) I want it fast and easy. ...please help me , this is something I have to do.
    *~ LAURA ~* :angel:

  2. #2
    Member JonnyG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    UK
    Age
    32
    Posts
    898
    I must admit, u sound in a terrible position. but as they say, things can only get better.

    I know how u feel, i have felt the same. I am at uni, im broke and wasted a lot with a gambling problem which im ashamed of. I had my heart broken by my ex as she went back to her ex, im very lonely these days, im bored of life, and i thought i had failed my 3rd year of uni up until yesterday where i had just managed to scrap through altho i still need to do a dissertation. I havent a clue what i want to do in life, i really do feel scared of it, and have always felt like a failure, i feel someone in my position would of had a better life than me. But 3 things keep me going :

    1) That i will one day be truely happy
    2) I think of my family and friends and think how selfish i would be
    3) I don't have the guts anyway i dont believe, thank god

    Things are really bleak for u, but don't give up. Hopefully somebody will pm u and chat to u about this. Im sure people have been in the exact same situation and have pulled out of it and are very happy now. Don't waste your chance.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member bleeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Age
    43
    Posts
    544
    Gender
    Male
    Hi Laura,

    We are all placed here for a reason. Do not bow out now without even fullfilling your life first. We all have our troubles and crosses to bear, but let that not put you down, instead use it for your greater good.

    True, not many can see the silver linings when things are going wrong. But take heart in yourself. There's only ONE Laura. People can share your name, but there's only one special you. Honestly, things are going all wrong for me now too. But I know that if I perservere, I would find a way out.

    Take those hard knocks as a lesson and let us all learn from them. My MSN addy is there, if you should need to talk. Take care.
    :: An honest man's pillow is his peace of mind :: Minutes To Memories :: John Mellencamp ::

  4. #4
    Member dpressedone89's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    redwood city california
    Age
    25
    Posts
    963
    Gender
    Male
    ok take it from me i know what its like.ive tried more than a few times to end it.ok things will get better trust me it may not seem like it but life is like a roller coaster it has ups and downs and a few loops but if you get off at the low points you miss the best parts of the ride. little things can change peoples lives. i mean a mirical. a mirical could be missing a bus if u think about it. how many lives would it affect?yours. maybe a freinds on the bus. if the bus is hijacked . your life would have been spared. all this could happen because you missed a bus. little things can be life altering and they come out of no where. for all you know tomorro you might wake walk down to the store and be a millionth customer and when a million dollars.you will make it through this you've just fallen on hard times. about not having anyone to talk to you can PM me or if you have msn messenger or AIM we can talk or you can email me i want to help .
    -stitches
    ~as you read this your life is ending, second after second you are wasting your life.stop living in fear, your time is limited, do something, write a book, paint a picture, start a fight, do something. because this is all coming to an end~

  5.  

  6. #5
    Bronze Member ForAnother's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Age
    28
    Posts
    944
    Gender
    Male
    I guess we all have had a little bit of this pain... hoping things will get better. You said that it is too late to go back to school... well its NOT too late. You can take night classes. Get your High School degree, work and go to a community college... and find something you love. I know that having to go through all of it is hell but... imagine your making LEGOs... your the kinda person who likes to play with an already made LEGO airplane... but you know that you have to build it to make it as enjoyable.

    Its seems like ages away, but if you don't start now... then it only prolongs it. Keep working, find a day job, then at night take night classes. Work your way to a high school degree.

    Things must be done even if we hate it but you have to do this to get out of being misserable.

    ForAnother
    ........................ I will
    ...oooO.............. be
    ...(....).....Oooo... too
    ....\...(......(....).... lost
    ......._)......)../..... to be
    ...............(_/....... the
    ... ......... ........... same

  7. #6
    Member zombie king's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    hell
    Age
    33
    Posts
    22

    I feel like that a lot.

    me too. I feel like that about five days a week.
    I sometimes will cry in bed just thinking about how I have no future.
    But I still enjoy some things,.. like movies, videogames,.. and remembering the past when life was good.
    Just try to find anything (not drugs) that makes you feel better.
    I can't really give any advice since I'm not very good at fixing my own life.
    All I can say is that you're probebly a really nice person and I'm giving you a hug from my keyboard.
    ......down in my dark corner.......

  8. #7
    Gold Member kuhl282000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Orlando, Florida
    Posts
    1,363
    Gender
    Male
    Hello

    I won't tell you how to kill yourself, but I will tell you that things are pretty bad for you now. And we all at times think life sucks, and sometimes it can be beautiful. You can't see any of the beautiful right now, because you are blinded by your so called failures. Fear has a really tight grip on you right now, and we need to shake it. But the real truth is you really only fail if you give up, and at your age you can change the future. But believe me, you will have to start thinking different. Because your life is really between your ears. It is your thinking process that is killing you right now. You have not failed at anything, you just have not gotten it right just yet, and we all do that. You have many choices and just when you think you are out of choices, up pops another one. You feel like your face down eating a dirt pie right now, so you can either give up (do yourself in) not an option by the way, or dust yourself off and get back in the game. You may need some help doing this, but if your willing and want to give it a shot. We have many people here that can help. But it is really all up to you now. If you don't have family, or friends that are supportive, well then you have to pave your own road, and I will not be the one to tell you it will be easy. Because you for sure have some major challenges ahead of you. But you can change and build a new life for you. Stare fear right in the face, and say I'm not letting you (no matter what) get the best of me.Their are organzations that can and will help you get back on your feet. But you have to ask for help. If you need professional help, a really good guy here named Avman can get you started in the right direction. But like I said you have to choose the path. Remember the people in 911 that died, I'm sure they would like to trade with you for just one more miserable day above ground. If you read about people that have made it from hardship, they all had serious struggles. But they choose to keep trying, and hopefully you will make the right choice too. Yes we all deserve to be happy, and we create that happiness by making choices and working towards it. No one gets it on a silver platter, they go through the life process and they earn it. You are going to make it.......so start thinking how you can fix the problems, and lets not create new ones. You can pm me or Avman anytime. You can do this, we are behind you. You are here because you want to live, keep coming back.

    Be strong

    Kuhl


    Be grateful for what you had together, because the personal memories are sometimes all we are left with. Life goes on, and so will you.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    9

    Life Can Change In An Instant...

    Laura-

    Years ago, I thought most was lost! My mother was a drunk and an abuser. I was 24, and always looking for a soul-mate. And then my life took an immediate turn. In the matter of one evening, my future wife came into my life, driving a second time through a park. We lived 500 miles from each other. The chances of meeting were a million to one. Keep your chin up, Laura. When you least expect it, someone may come into your life. And besides, God loves you deeply. We wish you the best!

    plain&simple

  10. #9
    Member dpressedone89's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    redwood city california
    Age
    25
    Posts
    963
    Gender
    Male
    k simply put dont want to kill your self your life can change over night
    anything is possible.never lose hope hope is one thing only you can take away if you have hope you'll never be empty (that was really inciteful considering i cant really think straight right now) take care of your self
    -stitches
    ~as you read this your life is ending, second after second you are wasting your life.stop living in fear, your time is limited, do something, write a book, paint a picture, start a fight, do something. because this is all coming to an end~

  11. #10
    Member myplague234's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Age
    25
    Posts
    90
    believe me you dont want to do it..ive learned...twice. My first attempt on suicide was with a razorblade. I was in my parents room, about 12 or 13 at the time, and was extremely angry and depressed at everything in the world. I was going to kill myself and i had the razorblade on my wrist, had the second thoughts thing, but slippped and actually cut my wrist, i bled profusely but lived.

    My second attempt was ayear later. I was going to jump off abuilding, rethought and didnt.

    What i did to make it through was go to youth group and church and find god. People in religion can guide you to the right decisions and can help you. The pastor is very similar to a therapist, and will ,most likely, not charge you for services. This would be great for your financial problems. Seriously though, death is not the answer. Live it out, an dlive it to the fullest.
    Hello again,
    my lost and forgotten friend
    you were the one i could confide in
    so run along, down my arm again
    make the rivers flow once again

    ive lost all hope
    and now i choke
    standing on the edge again
    the razorblade becomes my only friend

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •