I have 2 children. A 6 yr old boy who i cared for most of his life or at least tried to. And a 16 month old whomhas been with his father since birth. I am 22 years old.
Looking back now i realize the consequences my actions had. At the time i did not. I know i cannot provide a stable secure enviroment for my 6 yr old son. His father was hardly ever in the picture - only when it was convienent for him. I want to give him up to a family member in florida. I know they will be able to provide him with a financial, emotional and stable secure enviroment. This is for his future best interest.
He has never met these family memebers before but im sure he will be better off there then with his father. Who now has come into the picture but only slightly. Jeremy is living at his grandmothers with his aunt and 3 cousins - on the fathers side. They smoke and drink and his father has a drug problem and no secure job. He hasnt amounted to much in his 25 years. Now they want to keep jeremy - he isnt stable there either.
Im so torn. Jeremy will still have contact with us and maybe even come up for the summer. But i know he needs to be there. Im sure he will adjust eventually over time. They can give him hugs and kisses and the love and stuff he wont have the oppertunity for here.
Am i wrong? Am i selfish? This is sucha hard desicion and it kind of leaves me empty feeling but i feel as though its right. I wasnt ready to have a child and i tried for 6 years but am ready to accepot the fact that not only cant i but in a way - i dont want to.
I just want some opinions on my actions and thoughts. Is this really terrible of me?