Teen needs advice

[_Sam_Alone_]

Hi im 13 and I need some advice, for some time now ive known im a little different from other kids my age.
Im a boy and I like being a boy, I like hanging out with my friends watching girls. From the age of about 6 or 7 when I see girls I have been looking at what they are wearing then all these thoughts go through my head like what would I look like in that, I wish I had cloths like those.
For the past few months ive been at my uncles while there I meet a girl and we became friends she was easy to talk to and fun to be around we would go to the lake and chat for ages about our family, friends, life and in the end our thoughts and feelings. On one of our chats I told her about the feelings and thought I had been having from the age or 6 or 7, how when I looked at girls I was wondering what it was like to ware there cloths. She didn't laugh or make fun she just let me talk after I finished she said she was glad I had chosen her to talk to about this and she knew how hard it must have been for me to tell some one.
About 4 weeks before I was due to leave my uncles she came round at about 9am on a Saturday to see if I wanted to go to the lake, half way to the lake she said lets go this way we ended up at a old house in the hills that her family owned. When we went in she told me what she had planed.
She had thought of everything, she had cloths makeup and food, her dad was going to tell my uncle we were camping at the lake with friends. We went to the up stairs and she showed me what cloths she had. As I got changed she was sorting out the makeup when I was ready she sat me down and began to put the makeup on when she had finished I looked in the mirror I was amazed. We spent the rest of the day trying on the rest of the cloths and playing games. For the first time in years I felt good about myself, I felt I fitted in, I felt normal.
On Sunday it was time to go back to being a boy and back to my uncles the next few days past so slow. But Saturday came and we were off to the old house again. After I got changed we were chatting as she did my makeup I told her how I felt having to go back to wearing boy cloths how uncomfortable I felt wearing them now I knew what it was like to be dressed as a girl.
Now im at home and forced to dress as a boy all the time I cant escape to dress as I want.

[Nifty_Swifty1]

It's sad that in society we are somewhat forced to conform (though I admit that I would be set back by a 13 year old boy running around in women's clothes myself). I would conform while in public if it were me, but there is nothing wrong with indulging yourself while around those who understand. If you ask me it just seems a bit unfair that society sees nothing wrong with women wearing men's clothes, but men wearing women's clothes isn't viewed as expectable. There is one guy I know that just does whatever he wants, but he's the ugliest old woman you will ever see in your life. There are people that find it to be expectable. Even I have been chough in a prom dress. One of my friends was shopping for her prom dress and decided it would be funny for me to try on dresses with her. I have never had so much fun being incredibly embarrassed in my life. The clerks were having a heyday finding things for my 6'6" self trying to stick me in short skirts and what not... Any way, enough about my embarrassment (by the way, I don't see why you would want to ware that stuff, it's incredibly uncomfortable). Just make life as fun as you can.

[Sooz]

Hi Sam! I agree society is unfair when a certain person doesn't follow an "acceptable" behavior. I admire the fact that you've realized there's nothing wrong with you and you have been strong and brave to talk to someone. Many people live their lives in denial and suffer a great deal.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents. If you feel comfortable with them knowing, I suggest you tell them, that way maybe you can wear at home whatever strikes your fancy! It won't be easy. Parents have already a conception of who you are and how you should act, so they have to get used to the idea.
Just do what makes you really happy....
Good luck!!

[Jimeee]

_Sam_Alone_

First some history. Men used to ware dresses (or robes) and skirts all the time. Society saw no reason form men and women to dress differently. However, dresses and even skirts could get in the way when men were fighting in wars. Many warrors fought naked so there wouldn't be flowing clothes to hamper their agility and swords. Then, someone got an idea. He sewed from the bottom of his dress to the crotch and back to the bottom, and then cut between the stiches, and pants were born. Warrors could now be clothed without fear of their sword getting caught in their skirt or dress. Until 3 or 4 hundred years ago, boys still wore dresses, or more often skirts. But it became fashionable to change to pants when they grew up to imitate warrors and show how "manly" they were. This, of course, has brought us to the present when boys in dresses or skirts are looked on as deviants. Yet there's no reason a boy shouldn't feel as comfortable in a dress or skirt as a girl, just as in the past.

When I got married my wife noticed that I often put a towel around me after a shower and stayed that way most of the day if I was staying home. She asked me about it, and I told her that I was more comfortable that way. So she bought me a sarrong, a towel with a snap to hold it tightly in place. I was happy with it, and ware it the rest of the day after showering if I was home. We lived with my parents for a while and my mother noticed how much I wore the towel and asked me if I was more comfortable wearing my skirt. I said that I was. She said that she couldn't understand why a man would be more comfortable in a dress or skirt because women usually prefered to ware pants. I just told her that I liked to air out my genitals, and that pants tended to pinch them anyway. She sort of understood and said no more about it.

I still just wear a towel sometimes when I'm home. You might try this after you bathe/shower. Just use a large safty pin to secure the towel and you have a makeshift skirt. Your family might find that acceptable, if a bit strange, because you aren't really in "girls" clothes.

Men in scottland still ware skirts called kilts. We have a highschool in florida that has ties to scottland, and the boys ware kilts in the band and on special occasions at school. You might get stares from some people in your area, but kilts are somewhat accepted attire for men in western society. Even more acceptable for boys, who are often described as "Cute" in their kilts.

(This message is getting a bit long, so I'll continue it in the next msg.)

[Jimeee]

_Sam_Alone_

(continued from previous message)

You might start by taking an interest in Scottish history and society. Sometime when you're deep into things "Scottish" tell your parents that you would like to try a kilt to see how it is for a boy to live in Scottland. If they let you try it, you can enjoy yourself and still be a "boy".

If you want to wear makeup, you probably don't want to go into public with it, but mild makeup might be allowed at home if you start slowly. If you have a female relative or friend you're close to, you might casually tell them that you wonder what you'd look like in makeup. Teenage girls often love to make up boys. I think it helps make them more approchable, because the girls feel like the boys are more flexable and plyable. If you live with your mother, let her sell what the girl did to you. Surprisingly, mothers often see their son as a daughter who just happened to turn out as a boy. If she says look cute or interesting or even that you look like a girl, you've made progress, because you got a form of praise for your look. You might also try using a little theatrical makeup, and just say that you want to see if you like the makeup actors use, in case you decide to be an actor.

Now, one thing I want to emphasise is to feel out your parents. At your age they are expecting you to broaden your interests, and trying a new look is quite common in teenage boys. Just don't pressure too hard, and they are apt to be more flexable. And don't overdo it. Enjoy what you like sometimes if you can find a way that your family will allow/accept, but also show that you're willing to be uncomfortable the rest of the time so that others will be more comfortable with you. We all make progress a little at a time by fine tuning the process of give and take. That's what growing up is all about.

I hope you enjoy your early teens. It can be the funnest time in life. You're becomming aware that there's a whole world of different places, different prople, different societies, different governments, and different attitudes, and you begin to measure yourself against what you see in others. Don't ever think that you are less than others because of differences. Remember that in a free society if's the differences that make us strong.

[_Sam_Alone_]

First I would like to thank you all for your advice, and apologise for the late replay.
Second things have changed a lot over the past few months.

A few weeks after I posted on this forum and other forums asking for advise, my parents found my emails and letters to my friend were we talked about our last weeks at the lake house and planning what to do on my next visit. They were waiting for me when I got home from school you could tell by there looks that I was going to get it big time, it started right away. "What is this" followed by "this is sick" and then "you should be ashamed" and "why can't you be like your brother". I tried to tell them about my feelings and how I felt over the past few years but that seemed to make thing worse. The fighting went on for days the only peace I got was at school were I was alone with my thoughts, had I done something wrong, I seemed right to me.
When I got home on the 4th day things seemed a little quiet they asked me to sit down so we could talk "we now that you are going through some changes as a teen and that you may get a little confused with some of your feelings and we want to help, we have made an appointment for you to speak to someone that can help you."
They had made an appointment with a psychiatrist, I was supposed to tell this person every thought and feeling and he would cure me. I just ran from the house and spent the next few hours walking around. They didn't understand I wasn't ill I didn't need a doctor. When I got back it was quiet again all they said was your back then go to your room. Next day seemed to drag I was getting the silent treatment. By the weekend I had had enough I needed someone to talk to. I waited until everyone was out then I could call my friend. Her dad said she was at my uncles, when I called my uncle I knew that my parent would have told him. They had but unlike my parents he had also talked to my friend he seemed to understand more than they did, we talked for a hour or so and I felt a whole lot better knowing that someone understood my feelings.
On Monday I got home to find my parents and my uncle talking things got quiet as I entered so I just went to my room, the next few days seemed to be the same they would be talking until I came near then all went quiet. On the Friday my uncle was waiting for me my parents were out he sat me down and explained what they had been talking about. He had tried to tell them to let me be who I wanted to be, but they wouldn't have it. So in the end he came up with a deal for them. I could live with him, they didn't like that ether but my uncle some how talked them around.

I've been living with my uncle for almost a month now, and it's pretty cool, except for when I am at school I am a girl. My friend and I spend a lot of time together talking, homework, makeup, walking and shopping she says I'm more of a girl than she is. My parents have been to visit one before they came my uncle said a few days discomfort to keep them happy wouldn't be too much to ask for, I guess he was right my parent didn't say anything about it they seemed happy I was dressed as a boy when they came. Me and my mum talk a lot more now maybe it seems weird I think she is starting to see me as more then just her son at times I think she is starting to see me as a daughter as well.