Need some advice

dolphin · 04-12-2004, 09:27 AM

Hello to all, i am new here

Well i guess i should tell you a bit about myself and my problem.

I recently separated from my husband of 18yrs, (a year ago). Now i find myself ready to be back out there in the dating game, but i am so afraid.

I live in australia, well here is what i need advice on, i drive hire cars on weekends and meet a man ( i am female), all though under the influance of alcohol at the time, he asked me out for a meal, which with total shock i accepted. I rang him the following day at his hotel, to confirm the date which he said he couldnt make as he had other commitments with work mates. But he then took my phone number and said we would arange to go out later if he finished early enough, which he didnt ring. I did ask him wether he still wanted to go out or wether the alcohol talking, he said he wanted to still go out. this guy is over here from Canada working.
I was lucky enough to find some things out about him, he is not married.

Now since i am new to this stuff again, well actually have never dated. I met my husband through friends and we became friends first. So my question to anyone that might be able to help. Is it likely he took my number out of being polite or Do you think he will really ring me.
I know it has only been a few days.
He works 7 days a week.

this is the first guy that has asked me out.
I have a severe problem with myself and self asteem.
i know i have a good personality but i feel people wont like me because of my apperance, which i have tried very hard at changing.

Or do i take a chance a ring him and invite him out for the meal
Thanks
Dolphin

sera_michele · 04-12-2004, 10:09 AM

Sweetie, don't try to change your apperance to be liked by men...If you really want to find a man to make you happy than he needs to love you for who you are 100%

It is who you are that makes you beautiful, not what you look like.

As for him calling, who knows with men. It could have been the alcohol, or it could have been him. Only time will tell. But really it doesnt matter. If he doesnt call than its his loss

Dolphin, nothing looks better on a person that self-confidence. I took the liberty of looking up some websites devoted to improving self-confidence.
healthynewage.com/confidence.html
webheights.net/lovethyself/home.htm

The internet is a good resource, but you may also want to look into seeing a professional too.

dolphin · 04-12-2004, 10:34 AM

Thanks, sometimes it is nice to know that
I do know i give myself a hard time.
After all iwas in a relationship for many years and not getting the love i deserved. I dont mean sex either.

Sometimes it is hard to believe that someone else could be interested in me.
dolphin

sera_michele · 04-12-2004, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dolphin

Sometimes it is hard to believe that someone else could be interested in me.

I totally understand how you feel. But what you have to realize is IT IS JUST NOT TRUE.

There are alwyas people that are going to be interested in you. Let them be. Dont close them off cause you are worried they wont like you. Just go with the flow. I know it is all easier said than done...

No matter what, don't let poor self-esteem get in your way of finding love and happiness...and even if you never find love again it doesnt mean you cant find happiness.

There are just some things no one else can do for you but yourself.

04-12-2004, 09:27 AM	#1
dolphin Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mount gambier, south australia Age: 41 Posts: 60	Need some advice Hello to all, i am new here Well i guess i should tell you a bit about myself and my problem. I recently separated from my husband of 18yrs, (a year ago). Now i find myself ready to be back out there in the dating game, but i am so afraid. I live in australia, well here is what i need advice on, i drive hire cars on weekends and meet a man ( i am female), all though under the influance of alcohol at the time, he asked me out for a meal, which with total shock i accepted. I rang him the following day at his hotel, to confirm the date which he said he couldnt make as he had other commitments with work mates. But he then took my phone number and said we would arange to go out later if he finished early enough, which he didnt ring. I did ask him wether he still wanted to go out or wether the alcohol talking, he said he wanted to still go out. this guy is over here from Canada working. I was lucky enough to find some things out about him, he is not married. Now since i am new to this stuff again, well actually have never dated. I met my husband through friends and we became friends first. So my question to anyone that might be able to help. Is it likely he took my number out of being polite or Do you think he will really ring me. I know it has only been a few days. He works 7 days a week. this is the first guy that has asked me out. I have a severe problem with myself and self asteem. i know i have a good personality but i feel people wont like me because of my apperance, which i have tried very hard at changing. Or do i take a chance a ring him and invite him out for the meal Thanks Dolphin

04-12-2004, 10:09 AM	#2
sera_michele Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 57	Sweetie, don't try to change your apperance to be liked by men...If you really want to find a man to make you happy than he needs to love you for who you are 100% It is who you are that makes you beautiful, not what you look like. As for him calling, who knows with men. It could have been the alcohol, or it could have been him. Only time will tell. But really it doesnt matter. If he doesnt call than its his loss Dolphin, nothing looks better on a person that self-confidence. I took the liberty of looking up some websites devoted to improving self-confidence. healthynewage.com/confidence.html webheights.net/lovethyself/home.htm The internet is a good resource, but you may also want to look into seeing a professional too.

04-12-2004, 10:34 AM	#3
dolphin Offline Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Mount gambier, south australia Age: 41 Posts: 60	Thanks, sometimes it is nice to know that I do know i give myself a hard time. After all iwas in a relationship for many years and not getting the love i deserved. I dont mean sex either. Sometimes it is hard to believe that someone else could be interested in me. dolphin