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  1. #1
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    How do i know if i am attractive?

    Hi people, i am 17 year old guy from Nevada. THis has been killing me for the last few years now. How do i know if i am attractive? When i look in the mirror i see a monster. Some people tell me that i am handsome, but i always think they say that because of the sympathy. I use to IM girls in my class to find out what they think of me and they said i am ugly. But then people always say that i am attractive. I dont even know which one to believe in. My self esteem is completely down and my looks do matter to me as you can see. When i go out somewhere people are always looking. I dont know what they are looking at and i feel very uncomfortable because i think they are looking at my uglyness. Please help me, if you can relate to this let me know what to do. I have a little acne problem, is that why people are looking? I just need your honest advices! Every time i take pictures i just look away because i hate my face. WHat should i do? Should i consider therapy. But first please tell me how do you know if you are attractive

  2. #2
    hey man i dunno what to tell you but keep your head up.. i don't find myself attractive but ppl say i am.. i have acne...goes away and comes back... i also have ecema so i have dry skin on my face and its red... i feel un attractive alot.. i know this is no advice someone might be able to help

  3. #3
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    beauty is in the eye of the beholder....some people may think your attractive and some may not. dont spend too much analyzing what people think about you.

  4. #4
    QTpie87's Avatar
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    Mar 2003
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    HEy im a sixteen year old girl who goes to coronado high in henderson, do you live anywhere around there?

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  6. #5
    Member Pysal131's Avatar
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    Oct 2003
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    Honestly, it doesnt matter. Worrying what other people think only leads down a road of pleasing other people. While this isnt a bad thing, you shouldnt live your life just to please other people. Live it for you. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" Thats something fun to say, but it really doesnt do very much for you. Dont stress your looks man, it doesnt matter. Whats important is the inside.
    I used to care what people thought about me. I think im a generally attractive guy, and i used to try and flaunt that. Then i took a look at my life and how much time i spent ... trying to maintain that image. Its really not even worth it. People come and people go, just remember you are who you are, you cant change it, and physical attractiveness is only a shell of your inner beauty. If some people are shallow, thats their problem. They just miss out on all you have to offer. The girl you end up with, despite your looks, should love you for you, not for what you look like.
    Looks are just a convenient diguise.
    Andrew

  7. #6
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    Man! You are completely looking at it the wrong way. You are acting as though it matters what they think? I guess in some sense it may, but ultimately you need to know you are the best with what you have...that confidence you project will make you that way.

    You read FAR too much into looks! Beauty in the eye of the beholder is a line women use all the time. It's true, but it implies much more then that! Sure if you look like Brad Pitt women are going to be all over you, that's just nature...but have you ever seen an average guy dating a hot women? YES! Example...Kid Rock and Pam Anderson!?!?!?

    What makes a girl like Pam Anderson attracted to a guy like that? Well he "IS" a musician...but I think it's much more then that...he EXUDES confidence...he doesn't care what other ppl think because he knows he's hot...hell man...even Austin Powers gets women's attention!!!!!!!!

    Men are far more object-oriented...if a girls hot, she's a go. But I've found that women tend to also take into consideration other things. Bottom line, you can't rely on what other people think of you as a basis for your own beliefs...! It's bad for you personally, and it will affect your relationship life because women can smell this from accross the room!

  8. #7
    Member coldplayer's Avatar
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    SA, Australia
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    I used to have that problem a couple of years ago, you see I hated my nose so much I thought (and still sometimes think) it has a weird shape even though no one close to me commented on it I thought everyone who looked at me when I was out thought I was ugly. I was even going to have surgery on it but decided not to because I got too stressed.

    I have gone past that stage and I am on my way to having more confidence and not caring what people think about what I look like.

    Also what you see in the mirror (even though personality does count equally in addition to looks) isn't what some girls (who are attracted to you) see. They probably think that you are the cutest guy they ever saw, you might be surprised when you meet the right girl.
    I am the green queen!

  9. #8
    Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
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    Brisbane, Australia
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    Yea everyone's got it right I reckon. Its more of what you think about yourself, I personally don't find myself too attractive but I'm ok with who I represent so no matter what, people can't get to me too much. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, as long as you're happy with your looks, then you'll have nothing to worry about.

    A relationship cannot be based upon looks, coz looks can only take you so far, its the personality that remains the same throughout the years, remember that.

    Happy Heb

  10. #9
    Member Pysal131's Avatar
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    Oct 2003
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    like i said, its all about what you think, not them.
    Andrew

  11. #10
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    Feb 2004
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    well

    To be honest with you girls dont really matter to me because i am gay. I know i am straight acting, but i am not sure why it bothers me so much what girls think of me when i am not even interested in them. WHats wrong with me? I guess i have to get use to who i am. Sometimes its just too hard to face myself. I am so confused right now about so many things, and its like a maze. my looks do matter to me no matter what people say. And i realize that i shouldnt pay too much attention to my face and shouldnt care what others think but its just too hard not to. People's opinions do matter to me. Few years ago i was not as sensitive as i am now. I am not sure why. I guess all i can say is that i am very confused and i need a little help, i started to believe that if you respect yourself and think best tnings about yourself others will think the same way about you. But what to do when your selfesteem is ruined and you just cant love yourself? I dont love myself, i dont respect myself. I am probably wrong but its just too hard. Someone in my shoes would understand how i feel, but i dont expect you guys to feel me

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