Odd Potential Breakup Problem - Please Help

maimas · 02-18-2004, 12:57 AM

I don't know if anybody has encountered this one before, but I'm hoping that you can offer suggestions.

I have been involved with a gentleman for about 2 months. Things have been a bit bumpy, but for the most part have been going okay. However, he dropped a bomb on me tonight.

He is having trouble sleeping when I stay over because of our body temperatures. He says I'm too hot and that makes him hot. He wakes up and can't get back to sleep. He says he is not going to sacrifice sleep for a relationship, and I can't blame him. One thing that bothers me though is that he says he's been experimenting with trying to find a solution for quite some time. He's never let me in on this. When I asked him why, he said it's because he's considered it his problem and he didn't want me to be concerned.

I've asked him to allow me the opportunity to look for a solution and he has agreed to that. He's a bit reluctant because he said he made his mind up already and that he felt this was the best solution. He said when he researched the problem, he found that the only solution besides breaking up was to sleep in separate beds. He's not willing to do that because he likes having that closeness in bed with his partner.

Please, if anybody has a solution/suggestion, let me know! We both agreed that everything else about our relationship is great, but obviously because sleep is so important, it is something that could break this up.

Thanks in advance.

Maimas

mahlina · 02-18-2004, 01:16 AM

My ex had that problem when we flew out to Boston with his family/friends. Although, he couldn't sleep on the other bed b/c his bestfriend/his bestfriend's fiance slept on the other bed.

He couldn't sleep either b/c, I have high metabolism, so I guess, my body burns up and gets hot at night. He couldn't take it, but the solution was easy. He slept in his boxers. I hogged up the blankets, he loved the cold air, and I didn't. He just used the sheets, and I used the comfortor. He didn't like comfortors as much. So it worked out well for the both of us.

Maybe you guys could do a similar trade off.

The Morrigan · 02-18-2004, 07:53 AM

I had the same problem in reverse - I have the low body temperature, and I get overheated "snuggling" at night. My ex and I worked out a solution where we had TWO sets of blankets on the bed - the buffer between our bodies kept his heat more confined so I didn't feel like I was sleeping with a human hot water bottle.

maimas · 02-18-2004, 10:20 AM

Thanks for the suggestions. I've been looking online for a solution. What I have come across is that there is now bedding available that reacts to each person's body temperature even when they're in the same bed. The fabric absorbs excess body heat and then releases it when it senses that the body has cooled down. This helps to keep the climate under the covers at a more constant temperature.

It's called EvenTemp and it's made by a company called Wamsutta.

Maybe this will help others who have this problem. I'm frantically looking online for sources.

Please don't hesitate to offer any other advice, though.

Thanks,
Maimas

02-18-2004, 12:57 AM	#1
maimas Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 3	Odd Potential Breakup Problem - Please Help I don't know if anybody has encountered this one before, but I'm hoping that you can offer suggestions. I have been involved with a gentleman for about 2 months. Things have been a bit bumpy, but for the most part have been going okay. However, he dropped a bomb on me tonight. He is having trouble sleeping when I stay over because of our body temperatures. He says I'm too hot and that makes him hot. He wakes up and can't get back to sleep. He says he is not going to sacrifice sleep for a relationship, and I can't blame him. One thing that bothers me though is that he says he's been experimenting with trying to find a solution for quite some time. He's never let me in on this. When I asked him why, he said it's because he's considered it his problem and he didn't want me to be concerned. I've asked him to allow me the opportunity to look for a solution and he has agreed to that. He's a bit reluctant because he said he made his mind up already and that he felt this was the best solution. He said when he researched the problem, he found that the only solution besides breaking up was to sleep in separate beds. He's not willing to do that because he likes having that closeness in bed with his partner. Please, if anybody has a solution/suggestion, let me know! We both agreed that everything else about our relationship is great, but obviously because sleep is so important, it is something that could break this up. Thanks in advance. Maimas

02-18-2004, 07:53 AM	#3
The Morrigan Offline Bronze Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: The Blue Nowhere Age: 34 Posts: 907	I had the same problem in reverse - I have the low body temperature, and I get overheated "snuggling" at night. My ex and I worked out a solution where we had TWO sets of blankets on the bed - the buffer between our bodies kept his heat more confined so I didn't feel like I was sleeping with a human hot water bottle. __________________ "A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water." ~Eleanor Roosevelt~

02-18-2004, 01:16 AM	#2
mahlina Offline Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: SoCal Posts: 1,091	My ex had that problem when we flew out to Boston with his family/friends. Although, he couldn't sleep on the other bed b/c his bestfriend/his bestfriend's fiance slept on the other bed. He couldn't sleep either b/c, I have high metabolism, so I guess, my body burns up and gets hot at night. He couldn't take it, but the solution was easy. He slept in his boxers. I hogged up the blankets, he loved the cold air, and I didn't. He just used the sheets, and I used the comfortor. He didn't like comfortors as much. So it worked out well for the both of us. Maybe you guys could do a similar trade off.

02-18-2004, 10:20 AM	#4
maimas Offline Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 3	Thanks for the suggestions. I've been looking online for a solution. What I have come across is that there is now bedding available that reacts to each person's body temperature even when they're in the same bed. The fabric absorbs excess body heat and then releases it when it senses that the body has cooled down. This helps to keep the climate under the covers at a more constant temperature. It's called EvenTemp and it's made by a company called Wamsutta. Maybe this will help others who have this problem. I'm frantically looking online for sources. Please don't hesitate to offer any other advice, though. Thanks, Maimas